Descending the Pit

I need somepony to give me some advice on my story.

Like certain areas I can improve on.

I really have no clue as to what I could do since i'm a novice writer but the story is setting there glaring at me to be changed, but i'm not sure what I could do to change it.

any advice is welcome.

Comments

[device heretic]

I AM DEVICE HERETIC

HEED MY WORDS

THE ONE RULE YOU SHOULD ALWAYS BEAR IN MIND AS AN AUTHOR

IS THAT EVERY SENTENCE, PARAGRAPH, AND SCENE SHOULD DO ONE OF THREE THINGS

1. DESCRIBE SOMETHING RELEVANT TO THE PLOT

2. BE DIALOGUE RELEVANT TO THE PLOT

3. BE ACTION MOVING THE PLOT TOWARDS ITS RESOLUTION

IF YOU DO THIS, YOU WILL WRITE ABOVE-AVERAGE FICTION.

SO SPEAKS THE BEY, SO IT IS!

[whitefang]

20913

*bows to computer screen*

Will do Device.

[Reaper1oo]

Agreed with Device Heretic,
The only other thing I can recommend is the spelling, it's nothing major just that you used homophones....
yep, the stories' flow & feel are not interrupted by it, it will help to use the correct words however.

over-all not a bad job, in my opinion

[whitefang]

218223

Well, thank you for not hating on my story. I am not a writer by any means but it was something I wanted to try.
But, I have long since moved on from the story, as I have other interests in the fandom that carry me away from fic. (I have 34 unread chapters I still need to read)

[Reaper1oo]

218338
No prob, I'm the same (not a writer), I just haven't had the time to even write one....well a strong enough internet
Just these comments can actually wipe my internet out for a few hours.
It's mostly a one-way type: i.e.
World----->Me vs World<-- / --Me
But I still get my pony time!

You lucky you, such a small number, that is good thing!

[whitefang]

218625

Small number, maybe it's just me, but I don't see how people keep track and stay entertained from 100 different stories.

[Reaper1oo]

218995
I just am lucky, happen to keep it all in my head with very little needed to recall most of the story, don't know how it works but it does :shrug:

[whitefang]

219912

Oh, I can keep track but they lose their entertainment value.

[Reaper1oo]

220295
Ahh, the "feel"/emotion gets lost between them?
If so that is something I have some difficulties with as well. Nothing can really be done there, that I know of

[whitefang]

223143

Yeah, and it doesn't make the story not entertaining by any means, but it has a little less immersion in it.

[Reaper1oo]

223185
In that case I am confused as towards how they lose their entertainment value:

Yeah, and it doesn't make the story not entertaining by any means

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Well I really need sleep (even though it's morning, ~72+ straight hr's of my job is exhausting), so...night/morning/noon whatever to you!

Yeah I have weird internets, and a rather kind CO on it's use in field

[whitefang]

223323

Yes they lose value but they are still entertaining. Just not as much as they could be.

[Reaper1oo]

223816
Ahh
Well I don't know about wether or not it's entertaining but they this:

use the Konami Code while on a blog or a fic AJ appears. Here's the code itself: Up up down down left right left right B A

I wish I knew more of these but I don't