)Insert Opinions Here · 4:36pm Oct 2nd, 2012
Quick heads-up for anyone who missed my last post - while ranting on and on about how much of a dick I am, I also said that I'll be re-writing Hearts Aflutter.
Another quick heads-up - some comments on this post are liable to contain SPOILERS! HOH MY GAWD, THE SPOILERS!
(I doubt anyone reading this hasn't read the story, but whatever.)
Now that that's out of the way, I'll begin. There are lots of things I don't like in Hearts Aflutter - there's a number of things I'm going to change, a couple of things I'm likely to remove entirely, and also one or two things that I'm going to keep no matter what. But I'll be frank - I've been writing this story for me, pretty much this whole time, and look where it's gotten me. I've decided to change that up a bit, and ask you guys for your honest opinions.
I want you all to tell me about Hearts Aflutter, and tell me all of the things you like, - all the parts you really want to stay, especially the parts you want to stay almost/entirely unchanged, and I'll see what I can do.
But also, and much, much more important (to me anyway) - I want your honest, brutal opinions on everything you don't like about Hearts Aflutter. Any scenes you hate? Hate 'em here.
Example: Rainbow Dash hitting Fluttershy with the Sonic Rainboom. Out of all the places she could have hit in the entire sky, she happens to hit the pegasus who's about to ask her out? That is clearly a plot device, and also absolutely stupid. Gone. Bam. I'm changing the heck out of that, and there's nothing you can do to stop me.
Example 2: Rainbow Dash's suddenly eidetic memory. LOLPLOTDEVICE! Seriously, that's even worse than the Rainboom. What was I ever thinking? Seriously!
Do be brutal. Don't even worry too much about being constructive, I reckon. Some of the things in this story deserve to burn. As long as it's honest, I reckon I'll be able to use it when I re-write the story, and if all goes well it will be a LOT better for it.
- MS
P.S - Again, don't forget to check out the little snippet of the new Chapter 1 if you haven't already.
Well I haven't read HF in awhile, but I think if there is any scene you should keep it would be the one where Fluttershy wakes up (unless if your not making Fluttershy go in a coma, then that's cool too).
Cheers,
jangledorf
in my honest opinion, i absolutely love what you did with the RD making her smart, it is true there is unlocked potential with that pony! and honestly (while brutal) i like how you had RD hit flutter, it really moved the story and kept me reading (i remember freaking out because i was at a local pizza hut with my 3ds and no internet access, i get to that part where rainbow plows into fluttershy... needless to say i packed up and it was the longest car drive home!! needed MOAR!! i love it the way it is personally! and if i can ever find a good name to use (if you dont mind) i would like to read this on youtube!
397720
Oh of course - that's a big element of the story. That scene is staying to heck. If you can think of any more, don't hesitate to tell me
398785
Hmm, interesting... Maybe there's something I can do with RD being smart that doesn't make it seem like a complete ass-pull.
I'm definitely going to change the Rainboom scene, unfortunately - the odds of that collision actually happening are so small I literally need a microscope to see them. That said, the idea with that scene is for Fluttershy to be hurt, and it be Rainbow Dash's fault - while they might not hit each other, something is going to happen. I'm still deciding what, but you'll be glad to know the scene itself is staying.
I'm definitely glad it moved you so much
Now, the thing with doing a reading is that WHOOOOOYESYOUCANDOITIFYOUWANT.
I do humbly request that you wait until a few of the re-written chapters are up though.
399039 hmm... i like the outta the blue smartness, makes me like he more! makes her that much more awesome
to bad... wish there was somthing i could say (course i cant but you know what i mean 
) i love the sonic rainboom crash, i have seen it used once or twice but in a way that was like "eh", but the way you used it was so original (no matter how microscopic the chances of it happening are 
) heck yea it did (needless to say the other reason it was a long ride is because i live 30 min from where i go to school. needless to say your story made that drive longer than it should have been! hehe 
) yayz on reading! i want to get into voice acting and voice work and figured that would be a semi good start 
399039
Well, she might have to refer back to the books, or swot up on what she needs to know in stages, rather than learning everything about everything all in one fell swoop, perhaps?
399039 i had a thought the other night! are you open to suggestions as to what could happen?!?
also HI! 
hehe
409287
I am always open to suggestions.
Also, hey!
409356 lol, sorry for it being so LONG (despite me "being on" all the time (being logged on) i am away half the time, i just like to leave my accounts up for some reason and since only i use my comp.) anyway, obviously, just a suggestion, but i had thought of a way to keep what you had if you felt like it while making it more realistic! (since thats what your going for in your re-write im guessing)
anyway, i had though the somthing along the lines of having RD doing her rainboom as she does but notices something goes wrong and cant seem to recover. while FS is flying along she notices what is happening and as somewhat of a instinct (her caring nature kinda takes over her logic) she tries to catch her and save her, thus leading to the rest of the story.
anyway, just a thought
anyway hopefully i will respond quicker next time to you (*sigh* 
me and my procrastination as well will be the death of me)
Something that really bothered me was the scene where Rainbow attacks Pinkie and hospitalizes her. Even in her distraught state...there's no way in hell Rainbow would hurt one of her friends on purpose. No way. That really didn't sit right with me.
Rainbows memory its that bad, i mean her passion is flying and i don't think shes ever forgotten her stunt routine, now she is in love/feels guilty about Fluttershy and will do anything to help, tackling those books with the same energy as her stunt routine, if not more.
i very much like hearts a flutter but there are a few mistakes not very important but in at leat 3 you put a word twice for example( im going to DRIVE DRIVE to a house. but everything else i liked
also i dont really like when rainbow dash smashs pinkie pie against that wall over and over and over Rainbow would never do that
heh...heh... well this is awkward but, because I believe in the story! everything I have to say for now has already been posted in the comments section of the story - I would pick out some peticular scenes but it's been a while since I read it
963608
I believe in the story too... now, at least. I still think it sucks, but I really like it regardless.
And what I'll be putting up sooner or later really does not suck at all, and I am so stoked about that.
963724
i'm generally they kind of guy to just go with whatever works, so if you think it's going to be better than it was before. then it will make a good story better. especially if you're stoked for it, I can't wait to read it!