IRL Update and DELETED SCENES: A Slow Start. · 1:53am Mar 30th, 2017
So, I finally got a job! I'm a factory worker at Imfac making brake lines and cables, which is boring, but I can do it and it pays money. I'm really happy I can finally be a functional adult again. Thanks for those of you who said you were praying for me, and anyone who just thought nice things about me. I really can't express how glad I am to have something. You may remember back in January that I expressed concerns that I hadn't really change or improved as a person since 2014. That I was still a useless, distrable airhead. While I'm not sure if 'air-head' can be applied to boys, and I might be distractable, I really have improved. I can pay rent, commit to writing projects both fun and not, and I can complete things. I got stuff done.
I'm not useless.
Anyway, you guys didn't come to read about my stuff, you're here for deleted scenes and bonus content for chapter two! You may remember that in the original draft, Diane (Human!Pinkie Pie) was an orphan being cared for by Roxanne Hassett. They didn't get off to a good start. This scene takes place the following morning.
Inside her house, Roxanne was sipping her morning tea. She had a routine developed, one she’d spent years perfecting. She’d wake up at five, get a shower, eat a bowl of oatmeal, and then sit and read for a few hours while drinking her tea. It wasn’t complicated, but she found it comforting, and it allowed her to do everything that she wanted to get done in the morning before she went to work at nine.
Today, was a little different. Because today, she had to take care of Diane. Roxanne frowned. She’d agreed to look after the girl for a short while as a favor to her mother, but she was already having second thoughts. How was Roxanne supposed to make sure that the girl was performing adequately? She wasn’t able to consistently interact with her own peers with any degree of competence. And shouldn’t Diane be awake by now?
As if sensing her thoughts, Diane staggered into view. Most of her hair was in front of her face, hiding her expression. She was stumbling down the stairs with all the coordination of a cow that only had two legs. Diane collapsed into a chair across from Roxanne. “Food,” she mumbled through the aura of despair that seemed to surround her. “Now. Please. Food.”
Roxanne blinked. This was very different from how she had anticipated the girl to act in the morning. She’d half expected the girl to wake her up, crowing some kind of saccharine song about happiness and the sunrise. “...Good morning?” She hazarded.
“No. Not good. Horrible. Dark. Sun too tired even. Not awake. Need joy. Need sugar. Give sugar. Need sugar to,” here she fumbled with her words for a second, “do thing with the talking, but the words inside head. Not with mouth.” After a moment she added a “Please,” that proved that even with only a third of her brain functioning she was still a well mannered person.
“Well, I have oatmeal and…” Roxanne took a moment to think about what exactly was in her refrigerator at the moment. “I think there’s some water in the tap,” she finished rather sheepishly.
There was an ominous silence coming from Diane's’ side of the table, as if the other girl were considering the age old question, ‘Do I want to live in a world like this?’ Eventually, Roxanne decided to take her silence as a yes. She moved to start on the oatmeal. “Pour yourself some tea while you wait,” she suggested over her shoulder, “it won’t be long.”
It took ten minutes for the oatmeal to be ready, and by the time it was done Diane was able to sit up straight and eat without assistance. She still wasn’t talking, but that was fine. Roxanne had to put up with talking all through lunch and supper, when she was trying to-
Roxanne stopped. Had she really completely ignored Diane yesterday? Let’s see, she thought to herself, I asked her name, she called me a Mad Scientist, we went to lunch, I chased away that annoying fangirl… I guess I was a bit rude to her. I don’t want Diane chasing monsters the way some of the kids do. What’s-her-name didn’t seem that dumb and she was nice enough to talk to Diane for me-
Her breath caught. I did completely ignore Diane yesterday. Well, that’s about to change! Small talk can’t be that hard, right? That’s why it’s small.
“So, Diane… That was a nice scarf you were wearing yesterday?” Complimenting her appearance. That won't backfire.
“Thanks,” Diane said morosely. “It was my dad’s.”
Unless I step right into some kind of trauma. Crap. Crapcrapcrapcrap.
“Well… it looks nice.” Roxanne stated, well aware she was repeating herself. “Um…”
They sat in silence for the remainder of the meal. All the while, Roxanne mentally berated herself and sought something, anything, to say. Diane was not aiding matters. The girl only barely perked up after she had some food in her, and still had to consciously try to not stagger as she went to get dressed for school. Roxanne herself put on a simple sweater vest and pants, as well as a warm coat. It was fall, and getting extremely cold in the mornings. Okay, I can do this, she thought to herself as she went to start her car. I mean, sure, calling breakfast a disaster would be like calling Hurricane Katrina a minor inconvenience, but this is school we’re talking about. I know how school works. I loved going to school. She reached under the hood of her car, and began to rearrange the wiring inside. Once the motor had started up, she bungied the hood back down and began to head inside. Diane was waiting for her.
“What do you think?” She was apparently feeling better, and did a small twirl for her caretaker to show off her new look.
Roxanne boggled at Diane’s outfit. “Diane, it's freezing outside! Is that all you’re wearing?”
Diane shrugged, looking down at her T-Shirt and smoothed down her skirt. At least she has the sense to be wearing leggings under the skirt. “I’m from up north,” she said by way of explanation. “I don’t get cold.”
“That is not how that works,” Roxanne said firmly. “Hang on.” She crossed the living room and opened a closet, looking for something to give the fool of a girl. “I know there’s something in here.”
Diane followed her over. “Really, I’ll be inside all day, you don’t have to-”
“Of course I do.” Roxanne leaned out and glared at the closet for defying her will. She had left it unorganized for far too long. She was going to go over all of her clothing storage spaces thoroughly to make sure that everything was in its proper place once she got home. “I’m afraid I don’t think I have anything suitable-”
“Oooh, what about that?”
Roxanne blinked, and looked where Diane was pointing. She blinked again, trying to make sure that her eyes were working properly. Diane had selected a hoodie jacket to wear. It was the single, fuzziest, pinkest jacket Roxanne had ever seen in her life. Why would I even own that? “Are you sure?” she asked. “I mean, it looks warm, but…” Diane was already trying it on.
“This is the best thing ever!” she exclaimed. “Thank you!” She pulled Roxanne into a very brief hug before heading out the door to the car. Roxanne blinked, completely thrown off guard. She pushed her glasses back up and straightened them. “Well… there we go, then.”
I salvaged as much as I could from this scene, because I really liked Roxanne's' awkwardness. It just felt so in-character. After I removed the orphan segment, I wrote a different scene with Roxanne dropping off Diane at school, but I didn't like it as much. It just wasn't as layered as I wanted. I did like Roxanne's fear for her daughter, but ultimately I ended up combing the two. I'm really happy with the current version.
Roxanne pulled the car into place just outside Angel Grove High. Diane hesitated before getting out, and stood outside the car for several moments. Her fingers drummed an anxious pattern on the car door as she stood looking at the intimidating visage of the school. Roxanne frowned. “Diane,” she said hesitantly, “are you sure you want to start school so soon?”
Diane nodded firmly. “Dad always said to face your fears head on, right? Well, that’s what I’m gonna do.” She smiled nervously. “What’s the worst that could happen?”
Roxanne’s grip on the steering wheel tightened almost imperceptibly. Don’t answer that. She needs your support. She’s your daughter, and you're going to help her, even if you’ve never been this scared in your entire life because how are we supposed to do any of this alone? What if something goes wrong, and she gets hurt, or…
Diane was still staring at her, waiting for something to happen. Roxanne let out a slow breath. “Sorry,” she said, “You’re right.” And she was. Both of them were in uncharted territory, and they both needed to face it head-on. Trying to go slowly would only drag out the pain. “Do you have everything you need?” They’d gone through the checklist before they’d left the house, but Roxanne felt like she needed to do something.
Diane rolled her eyes and propped up her backpack on her knee. “Okay. I have all my textbooks, I’ll get my locker combination from the front office, I’m wearing my hoodie and scarf so it's safe to say I didn’t forget them-”
“Do you have your lunch money?”
“Check!”
“Cell phone charged?”
“Check!”
Roxanne let out a deep breath. “Well… it looks like you don't need me for anything!” She smiled weakly.
Diane peered in at her mother. “What’s wrong?”
Roxanne shook her head. “Nothing. It's just…” What could she say? That she was scared? Diane didn’t need that right now and besides, there wasn’t anything either of them could do about it. “Nothing. Have a good day at school.” Her words sounded false to herself, but she was confident Diane hadn't noticed.
Indeed, the girl seemed to accept them without a second thought. “I will! Love you!” She turned and headed towards the school with a cheerful gait.
“I love you too!” Roxanne called after her. “And remember: make some friends!”
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This next scene was harder to let go. While I really like the Private Detective Fluttershy (Who is getting her own spin-off later this year) I loved the interplay between Celestia and Doctor Bones. Celestia is still upset about what happened to her sister, and needs to get a grip, and who better than Bones to do that?
Queen Celestia, ruler of the realm of Equestria, silently sat on her throne. She had been alive a very long time. She ruled the kingdom for a thousand years. She had seen it through famine, monsters, and the invention of talk radio. She had seen hell, civilisation on the brink of collapse before, and she’d survived.
But this was the first time she had to do it alone.
She sat still with rapt attention, listening to Doctor Bones as he detailed everything that was wrong with her sister. “Best as I can tell, Luna’s not in any current danger,” he said a comforting southern drawl. Many ponies would have been scandalized to hear the disrespect and informality in his tone. He would have told them, respectfully, where to stuff it. That was one of the reasons the Queen requested his assistance from the Navy whenever there was an emergency; there were very few ponies that were willing to criticize an Alicorn. “Whatever that student of hers did,” he continued, “it didn’t effect her body. Her magic is gone, the trauma of which resulted in her coma, but until it's returned she isn’t just gonna keel over. On the downside, I don’t think she’s likely to wake up before it’s returned.”
Queen Celestia’s eyes narrowed. “When we find Miss Sparkle, she will tell us everything about this spell,” she stated in a deeply ominous tone. .
Bones scratched the side of his neck. “I don’t know. I’ve been thinkin’ about it, and are you sure you’re barkin’ up the right tree?”
“Her magic was responsible for the drain. She currently holds all my sisters power. What am I supposed to think?”
Bones met her glare evenly. “That there ain’t a snowballs chance in the sun that Twilight Sparkle would willingly commit treason.” His expression softened. “C’mon, your majesty. We both know that girl would have a panic attack over an overdue library fine, let alone attacking her teacher. You really think-”
“I appreciate your concern,” Celestia snapped at him. The two stared at each other for a moment, before she relaxed. She closed her eyes, and let out a long, tired, sigh. Neither of them moved for a long moment. “I’m sorry,” she said. “I have been under some stress since my sister came to harm.”
Bones raised an eyebrow. “I noticed,” he not-unkindly stated. “Look, your highness, I know ruling all on your own ain’t something you're used to, but if you don’t take a break you're only gonna end up hurting yourself. And we kinda need you to keep this world spinnin, not to mention keep them bureaucrats in line.”
She raised an eyebrow at that. “Now you’ve gone and hurt the feelings of your queen, Bones,” she said with a overly dramatic look upon her face. “I thought we were friends.”
“I might care about you if you ever did,” he grumped. He had long since transformed grumping into an art form. He claimed that it helped inspire his patients to remember his advice for a change. Those who knew him said it was because he derived joy from their complaints “I swear,” he continued, “you run yourself so hard that I’m surprised you lasted this long without me to look after ya. Have you been cutting back on the snacks like I said?”
“Yes,” came a lie backed several centuries of political maneuvering and a large degree of personal skill. The good doctor normally saw through these, but was fortunately distracted at this time.
“Good, good,” he said absently. “Look, I don’t mean to be rude, but why didn’t ya just try to talk to Twilight in the first place?”
Celestia closed her eyes. She really didn’t want to talk about this. “...It's complicated,” she stated.
The doctor, taking his cue, sat down next to her. “You got time to humor an old warhorse and tell me?”
She looked at him with a raised eyebrow. “Not half so old as me,” she pointed out.
Bones grumped at her again. There was neither verb nor adjective that could fit better; he was simply grumping at her. “That old country doctor routine fine back on the Enterprise.” he said sourly.
She nodded politely. “It has to do with a creature that was vanquished roughly a thousand years ago,” she began, unconsciously adopting the deeper, more dramatic voice that Sunset had loved to listen to when she was little. “The shadow of a Outer Being fell across our world, and somehow became separated from its higher self. In seeking a way to be re-united, it possessed my sister. Exposure to this things consciousness drove her mad, and after renaming herself Nightmare Moon, she sought to end the world by casting it into eternal night.” She paused as the memories assailed her. The fight had been horrendous. She had barely been able to bring herself to strike her sister. The thing that had stolen her sister's body had not been under the same restraints.
She took a deep breath and pushed on. “In the end, our mentor, Starswirl the Bearded, drew the creature away through a magical mirror that has been lost to the ages. We never saw them again. For a time, we came closer together. However, I was slowly forced to spend more and more time in the government and Luna was forced to spend more time guarding the Night from the monsters that Nightmare Moon had gathered, and we drifted. We never lost one another, and we never will, but we are not close as we once were.”
Here she stopped and smiled, remembering the old days. Back when they were fillies, Luna used to interrupt her when she was snacking and demand some of whatever she was eating or she would tell their parents. She’d talk about her day, maybe complain about colts teasing her because of her mane, and Luna would tell her she was the prettiest mare in the world. She frowned, realizing the her thoughts had drifted
“But that is not what I am concerned with now. As the Champion of the Day, I am tasked with defending the Future, even as my sister uncovers and prevents the past from causing harm. One of my gifts is Foresight. I can see… glimpses of the future. Threads of what could and can and cannot and must never come to pass. One of the things that I have seen is Twilight Sparkle, wielding the power of the Nightmare, annihilating the mirror and all that lies on both sides.”
That rather dramatic statement rolled around the room a few times, before fading away. Bones nodded thoughtfully. “Are you sure that future is the one that'll come knockin’? Sailing around the world, I’ve met plenty of other folk who can see the future, and not one of them was right all the time.”
Celestia looked at the ground in something approaching shame. “Perhaps not. There are a number of possible interpretations to visions. The one part I know for certain is that Twilight will seek out the Nightmare Entities power.” And that if she wasn’t planning to before this, it is almost certainly my fault for driving her to it.
The words hadn’t been said aloud, but Bones picked up on them anyway. “Couldn’t you call of the search? Just try and talk sense to her?”
“She would expect a deception. I’m not exactly known for my straightforward nature. And I am not completely convinced that Twilight did not intend this result in the first place.” She stood, collecting herself. “Twilight has repeatedly sought out dangerous spells and powers simply because they are arcane. She is reckless and seeks both knowledge and power, two things the Nightmare has in abundance. Mark my words; Twilight Sparkle’s ambition will be our doom.”
Bones frowned. “Sounds like you're describing somepony other than Twilight.”
The silence that followed that particular statement was deafening. Celestia did not respond for a long moment. “I am not blaming Twilight for anything that Sunset Shimmer did.” She stated. “And I do not appreciate you insinuating otherwise.”
Bones got up to, his skeleton creaking with age. “I’m just sayin’, your highness, that you need to be careful not turn this into a vendetta. Twilight isn’t responsible for Sunset’s betrayal.” In a softer voice, he added, “and you aren’t either.” With that he headed to the door. “I’ve got to get back. Heaven know what kind of fool adventure the Captain’s gotten himself into without me. Take care of yourself.”
Queen Celestia watched him go. She was the most powerful being in the world. Every nation obeyed her. She undisputed popular, without age, and wise even beyond her many years. And, most importantly of all, alone.
I can't begin to tell you how much fun it was to write for a Star Trek character. I need to do something for them at some point, it's just so much fun. I listened to Star Trek Audio Books as a kid, and this was something I'd always wanted to do. In the end, Celestia left this scene feeling isolated but composed, which wasn't where I needed her. At the time, I just thought that I needed to move the plot quicker and wanted the Princess to do something for a change. It was nice to get her out of the castle.
This Sunday, things start rolling as Sunset and Rainbow fight for supremacy and Starlight's true colors are revealed!May God bless your week, and he push me forwards.
Congratulations on the job!
Ah, I remember those first two scenes. Fun times.
Really? Yes! I loved that part!
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It'll be a one shot, but yeah. Want to read what's done so far? The first draft isn't finished (,ot even halfway, if I'm being honest) but there's some brainstorming on Fluttershy's new backstory if you want to look.
4477620 Cool, sure