What was me suddenly hating myself has gone away so ignore this please. · 7:37pm Oct 29th, 2016
Please just ignore this, seriously just move on with your life, I'm not important at all, nor am I relevant to anything.
I looked up to a little poster made in my elementary school years. We were supposed to write things for the recipient about how good they are. They said I'm wise, intelligent, honest, nice, kind-hearted, considerate, always there, thoughtful, good in music, "good at reading," funny, clever, "smarter than other people," "never gives up," and good with words.
I want to light it on fire to remove the falsehoods.
I'm fat, stupid, horrible with music, not funny, not clever, not thoughtful in the slightest,not intelligent, not even that honest anymore, lying by omission. The only two that are remotely, partially correct is the nice and reading ones, and here's the thing: I just read a lot. I read way too much, too much to interact with other human life forms normally. I'd rather read a story than hold a conversation. As for nice? Well, I may hold the door open and act civil to those I detest, but I'm not kind-hearted. I can hold hatred, lash out at others, insult, and just act like your run of the mill jerk to any I see, and will occasionally strike someone with intent to harm. I'm just a well-read idiot that acts friendly, and as for the "always there" comment they made, I'm not. I just like helping, even if almost everyone could do so considerably better than I could ever hope to do. If this seems to not be as extreme as my other posts of disliking myself, That's probably because I'm writing this all 30 minutes after me thinking of these things. I calmed down considerably and managed to think of a few positives, but those are far outweighed by all the negatives. Being well-read isn't even a good thing, because all it's done is make me seem more intelligent than I should be. Oh, and the never gives up thing is false too, I guess.
I'm feeling a lot better now, due to things like these:
