General blog of...stuff. · 9:13pm Oct 16th, 2016
This really isn't anything, it's just a rant that I really need to get off my chest. You can save yourself time and not read it, honestly.
Y'know when you're living life and you just fall into a system or a rhythm or...whatever? And you feel like you're just living the same day over and over again, and you just don't feel bothered to do anything anymore? I dunno, might be just me...
Anyway, I've been feeling like that. I've been completely lost as to what to do with myself, running through the motions, putting on a happy face for everyone, pretending everything's fine, that i'm alright.
It's getting tiresome and I think I'm gonna get to the point where I'm just gonna break and just lose myself to it all. I feel like one day I'll wake up and decide that I just can't get up, i'll call it quits and give up on everything. I've nearly done it on a few occasions but the anxiety and the worry and the stress just built and crushed me to the point where I'm forced to slap on a fake smile and go about my day all happy go lucky 'oh I love my life'. It's hard writing this down, collecting all my thoughts into words y'know? This is just gonna come out as a pointless ramble...
I guess when I get down to it I can say the route of my problems lie in school and my parents...The usual crap I guess. College is killing me, the mountain of work that I have constantly, the constant study and revision is frying my brain and making me doubt myself. I'm always feeling like everything I submit is never good enough, that I never tried my best even if I had spent a week completing it to the best of my ability. It doesn't help that I never get any feedback or results for any of it, I just get more work and more revision tasks for tests that are months away. My parents don't help, they're always over my shoulder shoving their dreams of me going to Uni down my throat, making me feel as though I'm unable to do anything else with my life. My mum wants me to be a nurse and I don't, but I don't have the heart or the nerve to tell her.
It's funny. All of these problems could be fixed if I just talk to people, and that is the one thing I can never bring myself to do. Anxiety is a bi*** like that....heh....
If you made it this far...thanks. Wish I could give you your time back.
Awe babe if u wanna change all u had to do was ask
4258604 If I wanna change...?
4258606 in ur daily routine
4258610 Ah right...I dunno. I don't know what to do with myself.
Maybe find something new to do? A new game, a new book, a new show, new friends, a new hobby, a new sport. There's a ton of stuff that you can do to keep yourself entertained and energetic, you've just got to find something you'll enjoy. Have some stuff that seems to pertain to your current endeavors.
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4258615 Heh, I needed those crappy inspirational quotes.
And yeah...I guess... The ins and out of life suck.
Would you recommend anything..? I might try it out~...
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Glad I could help.
It's happened to me with writing and the fandom in general, I just didn't feel like going on every day and doing the same thing. Writing here and there, editing, and continuously commenting. While I did get followers over time and my story did fine, I just didn't feel like doing anything that related to the fandom. I took a break, got my mojo back, figured that I liked writing (especially OctaScratch) and look at where I'm at now. Almost a hundred followers in about three months.
Maybe take a few moments every day to think about what you'd like to do, or take a jog for twenty minutes every day to excercise and think about what may make life exciting. Going outside if you already don't helps, like it literally is good for you. While I can't really give any advice for what to do about your job stuff, I can say that I've known what I've wanted to do since as long as I can remember and I've worked to go after it. And my parents know that if I don't feel like doing it that they're fine with me changing. So, maybe talk to your parents about it, because if you force yourself to do something you don't like then it won't be good for anyone. Especially you, your parents, and your patients if you became a nurse.
But stay in school. It may not be fun for anyone at times, but it's worth it.
4258640 Never said I was gonna drop out of school~ That would be silly.
Thank you for the advice...I might take myself out for a long walk now and again...clear my head and give me a moment to just enjoy myself. One good thing about England is that there's always a nice quite park or forest nearby where I can go and think...
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I know, I know, just adding it on there. There was this one girl in my art class that was going to drop out of highschool and the kicker is that there was only like three weeks left of school and she was a senior. Thankfully, someone convinced her to stay till the end.
Oh, you live in England? I went to visit there one summer, it was pretty cool. Not a big fan of your camomile tea though, wasn't sweet enough for my taste.
4258659 What on earth is camomile tea..? I drink Yorkshire tea, none of that fancy stuff for me mate.
And yeah wow...that must've been pretty worrying. I imagine the stress just got to her..
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This is what I drink:
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With a little honey it can help a ton with colds, coughs, sniffles, and just generally tastes good. I wrote a whole story about it called Tea or Coffee?
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This is a proper brew~ The slogan even says so!
Honestly, if I'm feeling sick, down or just generally in a bad mood a cup o' tea is just what I need...