Depression - My Short Summary · 7:58pm Sep 9th, 2016
Around a few years ago, starting in early or mid 2013 through to around February in 2016, I will admit to the fact that I was suffering with severe depression, mostly because of the destruction of my self confidence, feeling like there was no way out of my problems, seeing others be successful while I was left behind to lay in the dirt and being forgotten.
People hated me for reasons I barely even know where to begin explaining, because, quite simply, there wasn't one. At least, none I could see. Absolutely everyone I met, friends, family or friends of the family or just random strangers looked at me like I was some kind of monster and that I was nothing but a miserable, peasant in their eyes.
It hung more than a dark cloud over me for longer than I'd like to admit, and well, it destroyed my life, pretty much. For what seemed to be the end of it, I had a girlfriend whom was from my college in the same class as me, and we started dating this year since June. Later that same month, she left me. Broke up TWICE in a week, got back together and wanted to be with each other.
I'm not with her now, and I don't rightly know how to look at that one. It put me back on the same depressive state as last time, and I did actually try to kill myself quite a few times, to be honest. I never told my family about it, don't plan to, and even now, I still feel like I have no purpose in life or that I have a single reason to keep living.
People just hate me, and I want to know their reason. Worse, it's my own family I'm referring to. They don't like me, and I don't like them, apart from my Dad.
To say the very least, I do still try to continue, and I don't plan on ever giving up, but let me tell you something right now: if you feel this exact way, don't you ever, EVER give in to it! Never let someone or something else take charge of your life and live your own way. The only way to rebuild your confidence is to come to terms with things how they are and be yourself. You are you, and you always will be, so try to live with yourselves.
If not, I promise to haunt you for eternity, in spirit form. Mwahaha!
Mate, I'm sorry to hear this coming from a good friend. Although I know life has a way of breaking us down, as does the devil.
So I implore you, my friend, to seek Jesus Christ out, He'll help you more then you know. I'm beginning to believe you have blinded yourself to the belief that everyone hates you, even though that isn't the case.
When I was younger, quite a few years back. I was in a severe state of mind where I didn't want to live no more. And low and behold one day came where I thought to myself to end it all, that no one would care to see me gone, or would share any sympathy for me.
And so, I went into my room, grabbed a very sharp hunting knife that my dad got me when I was thirteen. I went out onto the porch, raised the knife to my throat, tears began to run down my face as I pushed it further and further into my flesh.
But I couldn't do it, I still cared for my life, even though I hated it. And so, I closed the knife up, and put it in my pocket, and all I did was cry from then on.
But you know what happened? My mother came out onto the porch after me, and she helped me through the pain, as did God. And so from then on I've been getting closer and closer to Him, although I do tend to fall from time to time, but still, He's there to pick me up and straighten me out.
So mate, I implore you to seek Him out, to find Him so that you too, may be saved.
All the advice I can give, is that every time something makes you sad or upset you get up on your feet and try to prove them wrong! And if you know they're right, then accept it and forget it.
I had to deal with this too, except because I knew I couldn't kill myself with a knife I was going to starve myself by going into a forest close to my home. I never carried it out, obviously, but the reasons I did it for wasn't because anyone had been inflicting emotional damage to me. Every time something went wrong I blamed it on me and thus led to my feeling of uselessness. In fact, my mind never recovered from this, and now it's degraded into a form of insanity.
Hope you don't end up as damaged as I am...
I hope you feel better soon.
4201678
4201231
So sorry to hear that, you two.
So, it seems like we've all been down the same path?
Well, let me tell you something that I want you to know and follow - Keep standing and find your way around it. There is always an upside to everything, and always a light at the end of the tunnel whenever you feel completely lost.
You may not believe anything is worth it, but believe me, it very well is worth every last bit. Life can drive you crazy, we've all been there, it feels soul-crushingly awful, but look at us, now. We're all still here, standing proud and breathing.
I can't stand to see people upset, suffering or injured or worse, especially friends and family, so from me to you, I hope you both find the right tracks and find happiness in the world, no matter how bleak things may seem.
To me, on this site, I consider everyone a part of family, because brony or now, we all have to stay together when one of us needs help.
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-Ribe (Dan)
4202011
Thank you. *fist bump*
4202532 Indeed I have found the right path mate. And I pray you find it too.