Regarding EQD

Hey guys.

First off, I'm going to have a new chapter of "Suck" in the next day or two. I've just been having issues with my transition from Windows to Kubuntu, and Tekken Tag 2 just came out, so I've been playing like a fiend. Hm, wonder if anyone's made any Tekken Ponies...

Anyway, I submitted "Rolling Acorns" over to EQD after a bout of prolonged editing. It's amazing how mudch you can find wrong with a story post-release. Anyway, I got a response back that was dismissive from the beginning. Most of it was stylistic discussions, use of colored text and so on, but one thing got me. The replier, Pre-Reader 15 I believe he was, said with unwavering certainty that the story was impossible because Rarity was born and raised in Ponyville. I believe one of the commenters to the story presented a better case than I could to say that her origin isn't entirely certain.

From BenRG:

An interesting little story and not completely incompatible with canon. It is pretty clear that Rarity's magic dragged her quite a long way to get to that geode that was split open by Rainbow Dash's Sonic Rainboom. It was also visible as far away as Manehatten and Canterlot, so she didn't need to be as close as Pinkie Pie or Fluttershy to get the benefit either. So there is no reason why Rarity could not have grown up elsewhere and only moved to Ponyville much later.

Now I could also discuss how Rarity's parents are apparently not from Ponyville, adding to the viability of the story, but my issue is more with EQD. I appreciate - indeed, I demand - fair criticism. It makes for better writing in the future. However, EQD seems to be operating not out of a sincere search for quality, but for work that conforms to a strict, dogmatic view on writing style and cannon that they don't see fit to share until you've gone through the submission process a bunch.

I lack the patience. Therefore, I will no longer be attempting to submit work to EQD. I will only tolerate being judged on my merits.

Comments

[EXOLIEF]

Good on ya. I'm a guy that believes in work being judged on the quality as well as creativity of the author, and even though a work is deemed as "fanfiction" due to the direct materials used, that doesn't mean that it deserves to be far removed from what can be considered within the realm of acceptable content.

Plus, you wrote a good story, it deserves some attention. This is truth

[Amit]

Speaking about them does nothing, and while they do possess what Sartre might have called 'bourgeois bad faith' and are quite subjective in their judgement, there's no need to feel bad about it. They are human beings, just as anyone else, and as 'dogmatic' as they might seem they are only so because most people are unwilling to defend their stories in a reasoned manner.

It's perfectly feasible to present reasoned arguments to the pre-readers; I'll quote the 'argument' I had over Judgement below.

Dear author,

I am currently unable to recommend your work for publication on Equestria Daily. Please see below for details.

Specific Issues-

Stilted narration, even for 1st person, though you get over this later in the story. // Movement, everywhere
Sentence structure. Needs improvement for flow and clear sequence. Minor concern.
Parentheses are lazy and look awful. Either work the content into the narrative, or create an appositive. Your writing is too good for me to let this pass.
Do not hyphenate words that end in -ly or color modefiers.
Missing punctuation, fine-tooth comb needed.
uh—?”
An Em dash indicates an abrupt break in speech. A question mark indicates a question. Strong punctuation marks are not bedfellows.
Very weak in scene-setting exposition.

General Concerns-

Overly purple prose out of nowhere. // She canvasses the azimuth with her hoof

Be careful not to break character tone, as your narrative is first person.
This becomes even more of an issue moving on, as your internal vs external characterization of Lyra is like night and day. I like the way she thinks, just make it consistent with the way she talks and acts, which is currently way below her mental pay-grade.

Okay, I get that Lyra is head over hooves for Bon-Bon. You really don’t have to drop a reinforcement with every other line. It begins to break immersion, and occasionally reaches a point of feeling outright hokey. // Of course she didn’t infect me with anything, I think. You did, with your very existence.

All of the above aside, I’m very much enjoying this tale! Make up the fixes, and consider the thematic recommendations, and I look forward to your resubmission. This is strike one of a possible three.

Best regards,
Pre-reader Seattle

Sir,

Thank you for putting my story into your consideration. I've attempted, as far as possible, to mend these errors, many of which I hadn't taken into account. Your analysis of my construction is particularly appreciated, and I shall attempt to correct for it.

And while I do not mean to be combative, or seem arrogant, there are a few 'errors' which I have made deliberately, as stylistic choices:

-The diglossia—didios?—that Lyra exhibits is based on my own; I don't go about, for example, explaining grammar in terms of, say, 'imperfectives' and 'preterites' to non-native speakers, even if I see them in those terms. I believe, in that sense, that it is 'realistic' that her thoughts have a discrepancy with her speech.

-Lyra's constant praise of Bon-Bon is meant to show the unhealthiness of her admiration; that being said, 'you did with your very existence' is incredibly mushy, and I've removed it in accordance with your recommendation.

Furthermore, the '—?' construction is valid, (see: http://www.novelpublicity.com/2012/02/ask-the-editor-when-and-how-do-i-use-hyphens-and-dashes/) and is especially prevalent in the sort of English in which I have been educated:

>Also, note that if you ask a question and end it with an em dash (“Why would I ever—”), it is correct to end it with a question mark (“Why would I ever—?”) unless you continue the question on another line...

along with the its usage as an indicator of aposiopesis, a use with which it has been endowed from its inception (see the Aeneid, and translations thereof, or Tom Sawyer).

Similarly, hyphenated adverbs date back to the 19th century (see: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hyphen#Compound_modifiers) and are in use in my writing for much the same reason as the dash-question mark is: I've learnt to use it that way.

If these issues disqualify me from publication, then I apologise; but I don't think that I'll be able to budge on those points, as stubborn as it might seem to be for me to persist in attempting to write pony fanfiction with the sort of literary English which I have been educated to use.

Thank you, in any case, for taking the time to consider my story; I must apologise if I've come across as overly resistant to criticism, and I do not wish to offend with my disagreement, but I cannot subvert. Please consider this a resubmission.

Sincerely,
Amit

Response:

Dear sir,

I have belabored over this matter considerably, and first and foremost I wish you to know that I greatly respect the consideration, education, and integrity of your thoughtful response. It is most impressive that you utilize and understand English to the extent you do—far beyond most native speakers I have corresponded with.

The bulk of your stylistic preferences, including the stark dichotomy between Lyra’s internal and external modalities, I am more than willing to concede to, especially given your sound reasoning. Below are two further matters for your consideration.

1)

—?

Please note that in the reference you provided, (http://www.novelpublicity.com/2012/02/ask-the-editor-when-and-how-do-i-use-hyphens-and-dashes/) Ms. McFadden says:
Also, note that if you ask a question and end it with an em dash (“Why would I ever—”), it is correct to end it with a question mark (“Why would I ever—?”)

She then goes on to quote the Chicago Manual of Style, inferring a defense of the above usage:
“In modern usage, a question mark or an exclamation point—but never a comma, a colon, or a semicolon, and rarely a period (see 14.16)—may precede an em dash.”

Unfortunately, there seems to have been some manner of mistake, as she is, firstly, misquoting.
14.16 of the CMS is titled “Basic structure of a bibliography entry” and has no mention whatsoever of Em dash usage. Secondly, while the CMS does indeed allow for a question mark preceding an Em dash for an appositive usage, it does not allow for an aposiopesis Em dash followed by another punctuation mark.

2)

>ideologically-unified

>finely-toned

>steadily-approaching

>conveniently-close

The MLA, AP, and CMS (7.85) all state quite explicitly that adverbs and adjectives ending in -ly are not to be hyphenated. The logic behind this is that adverbs ending in ly always and already modify the word immediately following them.
See also-
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/English_compound
Please scroll down to the “The following compound modifiers are not normally hyphenated:” section.
For further instances-
http://englishplus.com/grammar/00000127.htm
http://www.spawar.navy.mil/sti/publications/pubs/td/1064/td1064f.html

Sir, I wish to appeal to you with your own defense. You state, “…to persist in attempting to write pony fanfiction with the sort of literary English which I have been educated to use.”
It is your passion for education that I’m asking you to consider. Education is a never-ending process. It is constantly in a state of flux and transition, as it should be, especially when considered in application with the evolutionary nature of language. The usages you are defending so rationally are archaic and classical. We have evolved, and so too must our understandings and mutual conceptions. It is in this vein that I’d like to draw your attention to your modern, and correct, usage of ellipses, that work… like this… While the classical usage would be more consistent with . . . this style, which is now used almost exclusively for the academic omission of quoted text.

In summary, given your cited classical education, I am willing to compromise with you on this, and allow the usage of point 1 (—?) to slide; however, I’m afraid I have to insist that point 2 be corrected for publication.

Please consider this a response, and not an additional strike. I very much look forward to hearing back from you.

Best regards,

Pre-reader Seattle.

Sir,

I am more than happy to compromise in a matter so picayune. As such, I have made the required amendment, and hope that that will be sufficient.

That being said, I hope I won't have to substitute the Attic optative with the Demotic eyxomai.

>classical education

Yeah, the library and textbooks are a bit out of date here; the only alternative reference I have is my own informal speech, where I got talk funny-funny like this one.

At least I don't 'do the needful'.

Sincerely,
Amit

Congratulations! Your story has been approved for posting, and should appear on the site within a few days.

[daBomb619]

Um...she was born in Ponyville. Directly quoting from Episode 209, "Sweet and Elite":

I may have been born in Ponyville, but I am a Canterlot pony at heart.

It's not just a personal canon; it's actually canon.