I know it's a shitty FFF but I don't care really · 10:21pm Sep 1st, 2012
Okay, seriously. How many times? How many FUCKING times do I have to say this? Don't do this. No, before you say anything. Just no. I do not care why you made this steaming pile of horse shit. I do not half a shark's cock if you just fell down thirty fucking flights of stairs before you had this idea. There is nothing, ABSO-FUCKING-LUTELY NOTHING that you can say in your defense. And still, still you fucking publish it.
*sigh*
Yeah, let me just get out my FFF equipment. Picture of Rob Bricken with the subtitle "Hero of Sanity"? Check. Three crates of industrial strength floor cleaner mixed with copious amounts of hooch? Check. One Japanese samurai katana designed especially for ritual suicide? Check. And finally, the complete written works of Tolstoy, to be used as a bludgeon against the author. Check, check and double check.
We're ready.
writers note=i am a amateur story writer and i have only writen one story and people at my school said it was great to i am trying this out and i hope you like it.
NO, WE MOST ASSUREDLY WILL NOT LIKE IT. NOT ONE TINY FUCKING BIT
also i have some AMAZING ideas for this story i might make cupcakes and my little dashie connect to this story. and i think it will be awesome.
It was a normal day in flight camp. The group allready did warmups and now they wer going for a short fly to get ready for the day. Evening(the name of my oc) was I little slower then everyone else in the group flying.
Evening is your OC's name? It's an alicorn, I bet ya anything in the goddamn world it's a faggy alicorn. Also, judging by the fact that he's immediately portrayed as slower than the others he's probably a sorry sue.
a mare that was in the front of the group noticed I was going a little slow and she for whatever reason.decided to slow down and join me.
For one, I am stunned by your complete and utter disregard for any sort of punctuation and capitalization. This does not make me angry. Instead, I have a set of mental images in which the author mercilessly guns down a set of toddlers wearing matching shirts that say "English Language" and "Happiness"
Evening was confused why would this beautiful mare want to come talk to me and I am also the slowest in the group?
First person, third person, arse midget, who cares. They're all the same thing anyway, am I right?
evening and this mare for a minite or 2 befor he decided to say hi.and the mare said hi back .evening asked why did you slow down to fly with me? The mare said .well it was at first I noticed you were going a little slow I would give you a pep talk or something .but when I got a good look at you
Crikey o'butt-fucking-Riley, where do we begin with this one? THAT IS NOT HOW YOU WRITE DIALOGUE YOU SHIT SMEARED RECTUM-EXPLORING MONGOLOIDIC FUCK.
ALSO, SHE'S IN LOVE WITH HIM. JUST LIKE THAT.
the mares cheeks redend and she got a smile on her face then she looked away to hide her face.evening asked what is it?
Pardon me, it's not a Sorry Sue, it's just your average Mary Sue. Also FUUUUUUCK YOUUUUUU
After moment when the mare wasent shy anymore she said .its nothing don’t worry about it.evening said to be a little funny.im worrying!the mare smiled and hit him in the shoulder softly and gigled.then after that she flew back up to the front of the group.evening started wondering why the mare got so shy.but he didn’t have a long time to think befor the warmup fly was over .
In hell, English teachers need to diagram these sentences for all eternity.
After about two hours and bunch of exersises.evening could tell that the beautifull mare was watching him a little here and there.and the next exersize takes a lot of agility and one at a time the other pegisi crashed into eachother and the obstacles.then when evening got up there he did It quickly and easily and made a few ponys gasp.
There are no words. Just read it. That is all. You just have to read it. He makes other ponies gasp in awe, he makes rainbow dash wet herself and he makes everybody like him.
Read it. Read it and cry.
they desided to cheer for him for a few moments befor they tried to do what he did and when he got to the back of the line he noticed the mare and thought.hey she wasn’t infront of me a minit ago.then while he was thinking she said hello.
Is there any sense in me being angry? No, some other arse face will do it all over again. Any sense for me to cry over my fate? I chose it myself.
*Sigh*
Let's just drink ourselves to death, shall we?
He was a little shy.he didn’t know why and he tried to say hello but he got red cheeks and then he thought for a moment.wait waitwait do I have a crush on this girl and then befor he could answer himself she said.hey
I want to compliment you and your amazing agility.he blushed a little then he said.thanks.she could emediatly tell he had a crush in her.then he said.wait a sec can I have your name?she said rainbowdash then she blushed a little and asked for his .he said evening my name is evening.he asked her if she was blushing when they wer flying because she had a crush on him.she had dark red cheeks now and she tried to answere yes but befor she culd he huged her and said.shhh you don’t have to answere that lets just be friends for now.
Okay, that's it. I'm done. No more FFF for a while, at least not until I feel fit to do another one. This is by far my worst work and why? Because some idiot with a mental deficit has just completely destroyed my faith in the future of the human species. No, I won't do the second chapter. I don't feel like it. I don't really feel like anything right now. I can't explain it.
You devoted 12 years of your life to teaching these wankers how not to write shit like this and yet it happens, more often then it should. I know I sound like some depressing cunt who sits in a window smoking and listening to Morrisey but this really got to me and I don't know why.
Fuck this filthy-ass rock of a planet, I'll get high now and forget I read this.
Oh my god. I've seen this story. "my love rainbowdash."
And how I found it... well... there's this group you might want to look into.
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Thanks
I did. Wow. That was....special.
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When I'm right, I'm right
I've lost count of how many times I've fallen off my chair, dude.
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Should I say "thanks" or should I ask you to seek help? I am torn
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You have a knack for totally ripping bad fics apart. It must be your superpower. Mine's multitasking. But don't tell anyone.
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I'm like the world's shittiest superhero.
Imagine a scenario if you will. Some dick douche sat down to write his god-awful fan fiction and there's no one around to stop him! Never Fear! Fan Fiction Riffer TO THE RESCUE!
I break his window, I smash his PC, I uninstall his Word and I beat the shit out of him with a copy of "Madame Bovary" while yelling "NO! NOT TRELAWNY AND DOBBY! NEEEEEVVVVEEEEEEER!"
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FOREVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR