A Leap of Faith _Review

Leap of Faith
Rating: Teen
Tags: Gore, Adventure, Crossover, Dark, Equestria Girls

I’ve always wanted to read a FiMFiction that actually captured the feel of the renown Assassin’s Creed series, but had come to the conclusion that it simply wasn’t really possible due to the near invalidity of parkour/freerunning (there is a difference) in the world of Equestria that many attempts were trying to make. This, however, was a conclusion that I had reached before Equestria Girls was introduced to us.

This fic, Leap of Faith by A Bag of Plums (I’m not kidding, that’s his/her pen name), not only proved me wrong, but also showed me that parkour/freerunning was not the only element that helped create the Assassin’s Creed feeling.

That being said, it wasn’t a fic that was completely up to my standards. That being said, allow me to delve into my review of this incomplete fic (as it’s still possibly ongoing right now {March 4th, 2016} with its last chapter being uploaded on February 14th, 2016).

First off, there is no animus, nor animus-esc device/spell, in this fic. Everything that is happening is in the moment (which, one could argue was kinda happening in the actual games, but that’s beside the point). So get that anticipation out of your system.

Second, this fic was first posted on December 10th, 2014; the day after Equestria Girls: Rainbow Rocks was released, and four months before Season 5 started. No Sci-Twi, Crystal Prep, or Starlight Glimmer for this one. Not unless “A Bag of Plums” can conceivably use them to fill in an upcoming role in his plot.

The plot for this is as follows: the Assassins have recovered Templar documents that seem to emphasize an importance of a student at Canterlot High, Sunset Shimmer. However, that’s all they are really able to figure out from said documents.

Knowing this, however, they send an Assassin to the school to both observe Sunset Shimmer, and stop whatever plan the Templars have that involve her. This assassin is a young teenager who was brought in at a very young age (kinda like Altair, but I’m personally doubting any possible connections with him; meta, or otherwise), and is thus able to blend in as a student.

Sunset Shimmer is trying to figure out what’s going on as suspicious, but not alarm raising, things start to occur. Oh, and stay alive, though she’s not consciously aware of that goal at first.

The Actual Review:
This story is being written in a series of acts, so in all reality, the plot as I’ve written above is mostly for Act 1. “A Bag of Plums” is currently on Act 2 with Leap of Faith, though that is very much in its early stages.

As I stated above, I thought for a long time that a good MLP crossover with Assassin’s Creed wasn’t possible due to the invalidity of parkour/freerunning in Equestria. This fic actually showed me that there is much more to it than that.

The Parkour/freerunning certainly help, but the main feel that a crossover with Assassin’s Creed should shoot for (I reserve the right to be wrong here) is the feeling of espionage, mystery, and conspiracy with the end result of physics defying mysticism. In this fic, we really don’t know much of the Templars’ plans. The only perspectives we see (thus far) are those of Sunset Shimmer, occasionally the assassin assigned to her (Velvet Breeze), a few of the other assassins, Princess Twilight Sparkle (who helps from Equestria), and one of the Templar’s agents (still trying to understand the relationship dynamics with that one) who seems to have an agenda of her own. While we do seem some parkour/freerunning, we don’t really see enough to justify deeming it a key part of the story (seems to be more of a gameplay feature, I’m thinking).

We do, however, see Sunset trying to understand what the heck is going on at Canterlot High, and the plot thickening as she obtains more and more knowledge. While those who are familiar with the Assassin’s Creed series already have an idea of how thick the plot can get, the reader can still get the feeling of the plot thickening as Sunset learns more and more.
As such, I definitely get the feeling of the Assassin’s Creed series in this fic.

There is some gore, but not a lot outside of the combat in the fic. Even then, however, not a lot is detail is spent on it. Yes, it does go into blood splatters, but the gore mentioned is only enough to help get the idea of the damage being afflicted in the combat. No details of brains or intestines being splattered across the room, but blood is definitely brought up in this fic.

The main detraction of this fic, I feel, is the fact that it fails to really bring you into the story. Yes, it does talk about what’s going on, and you can even understand what’s happening, but it doesn’t make you feel as if you’re there.

That being said, it does do a good job of “show, don’t tell” with the setting and such. For example, the story takes place during the season of winter, and thus the cold is shown very well through comments, actions, choice of clothing for the characters, and even dialog. There is no feeling at all of disconnect from the story due to exposition, so “A Bag of Plums” is doing well in that aspect.
With that in mind, while the reader can definitely see what’s going on, he can’t feel what’s going on, which is what written literature has over both graphic novels, and videos. Yes, we can see that this character is cold, but we don’t really know if it’s an inconvenience chill, or a biting cold. We don’t know if the pain this character is feeling is a mere smart, dull throbbing, or searing pain lancing up the limb.
Not only what’s going on physically, but we don’t feel what’s going on with the characters emotionally either. This is where “show, don’t tell” gets a bit more black and white. I’ll use the example of the feeling of nervousness since that’s an emotion one can expect from a plot featuring conspiracy.

He nervously opened the door.

He grabbed the doorknob nervously, his hand slipping a little.

His sweaty hands slipped at first as he grabbed the doorknob, anxiety sending his heart racing as he pushed through the door.

Ok, I know I’m not the best at it, but you get the idea from the three examples. “A Bag of Plums” is most definitely not the first example. When you read a scene, you can actually envision some of the emotion that the characters are feeling, as well as see what’s happening. “A Bag of Plums” fits very well in the second example in this regard.

Unfortunately, he falls short of the third example, which really puts you into the mind of the character. The word “nervously” isn’t even needed in the third example as you can clearly see and identify that is what’s going on. Leap of Faith fails to do this, and thus, while definitely utilizing the “show, don’t tell” policy enough to be good, doesn’t succeed in really filling the reader with the emotions of the fic.

This is such a big deal for a story like this because the thrill of the emotions that one experiences with stories of mystery and conspiracy (no real suspense as far as I can see) is what makes the experience. Description of action can hold a reader’s attention very well, but for a fic that’s feature Assassin’s Creed, where Stealth and Conspiracy are the driving sub-genres along with Action, that’s not enough. The reader needs to feel like he’s actually there, experiences what the characters are experiencing, feeling what the characters are feeling, to really enjoy this story to the fullest.

Still, while not fantastic, Leap of Faith is still a decent read.

When to Read It:
I’d recommend reading this when you have some time available as your curiosity is piqued by what happens, and you do want to find out what happens next. This has not intentions of being a short read.

So I’d suggest whenever you don’t have any obligations for the day, or obligations are a long way away; and the really amazing stories that you’re following haven’t updated yet.

Rating:
I’d actually give this fic a 6/10 since, while not being excellent, is still a pretty good read. Just because it doesn’t excel at “show, don’t tell” doesn’t mean that it fails at it. All A Bag of Plums needs is a little more practice … and maybe a new pen name.

Seriously, A Bag of Plums? Why would you make that your pen name?

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