99th blog! · 10:48pm Apr 13th, 2016

Because of certain extenuating circumstances, I had originally planned to make this my 101st blog, but I am unable to do so in a timely fashion
This was going to be my 101st, my 100th was going to be my 99th, and my 101st was going to be 100th, but oh well

BUT THATS OK
BECAUSE THIS BLOG IS ABOUT
MOTHERFUCKING HOMESTUCK YO

Upd8 spoilers: OH MY GOD I DONT KNOW HOW TO FEEL ABOUT THAT ENDING. IT WAS SO GENTLE. WHY. HOW. IT WAS LIKE THE BLOOD OF OLYMPUS OF HOMESTUCK: A LOT OF CLIMAX WITH A STRANGELY SOFT ENDING. AND TBH, I WASNT A HUGE FAN OF THE ANIME PART
AND ALSO THE LACK OF DIALOGUE
THE DIALOGUE USED TO BE MY FAVORITE THING ABOUT HOMESTUCK!

ANYWHO, lemme summarize my HS experience

I got into it about january 2015 (i think??? idek anymore), a wee little gay with little to no fandoms with LGBT+ representation. so naturally, i was hooked

at first rose was my favorite, and then kanaya, and then dave, then kanaya, then rose, then dave, then karkat, then rose, then terezi, then karkat, then vriska, and now..... *drumroll please* terezi or dave

when i first started reading was probably during the worst part of my life: the beginning of second semester of eight grade. as i will explain more in my next blog, i was still sorta coming to terms with my sexuality, and i spent most of my time on Google+, chatting it up with the Elder Gays™ for support and general LGBT+ convo (i am majorly closeted to my family and most people at school)

i became instantly obsessed, turning my "other stuff im too lazy to make separate boards for" board on pinterest into a mostly homestuck board
i drew the trolls EVERYWHERE, in my sketchbook, on my math notes, on latin quizzes, etc

then, my parents intervened
they said that it was "too scary" and that the trolls were metaphors for Satan and that there were underlying themes of rape
they also believed that homestuck was "having a negative influence" on me and that it was harmful to my already fucked up mental state (okay thats not exactly what they said, but that was the gist)
i was SO
INCREDIBLY
FRUSTRATED
with them for banning me from homestuck
i couldnt draw it, talk about it, etc etc

however, i still snuck read almost all of act 6
i still drew the characters, but i was careful
my parents didnt know much about homestuck other than the trolls, so i drew mostly humanstuck

i was persistent though
i kept on trying to defend homestuck, explain how it was the only fandom with a character who i truly related to (Terezi)
even before dragon con, i tried to convince my dad to let me rejoin the fandom, a last minute attempt to get a cosplay together

and yet,
to this day

im still banned from it

do i read it? hell yeah

did i accidentally skip over most of act6 act6?
.... yeahhhh

i still draw humanstuck as well!
and i still am slowly trying to convince my parents to let me read it again

because at the end of the day, it helped me a lot
it helped me make online friends
it helped me out of all my art blocks
it gave me characters that i cherished more than characters from any other fandom

and most of all
it gave me hope. ~~the page of hope. jk jk that was a bad pun~~

when i was in my biggest obsession stage was when my mental state was the absolute worst and when i contemplated suicide more than any other times in my life
but i would wake up everyday knowing that there were so many pages left of homestuck
knowing one day i could get a group of people together for a huge god tier cosplay group
hoping that one day, i could safely use homestuck as a way to come out to my parents

and i know that all of these are unreasonable now
it finally ended today, after seven years
i know the fanbase will die off
but i also know
that so many of us
wont forget it
and i know
that even though i could grounded for the rest of my god forsaken life
i would never regret continuing in my SBURB adventure

and also i have like 50 bajillion lyricstucks planned so if i ever am allowed, thats basically all ill do
draw stuff for lyricstucks like its 2012

anyways
-jedi out

ALSO IF YOU ARE A HOMESTUCK AND YOU WANT ME TO DRAW YOUR HUMANSTUCK RACE/ETHNICITY, BODY TYPE, ETC HEADCANONS
FOR THE TROLLS, HUMANS, ETC
PLEASE ASK
ILL TAKE HUMANSTUCK HEADCANON ART REQUESTS
PEACE OUT