[Metacritic Monday] Undertale · 4:26pm Jan 5th, 2016
...there is no way this review here is real.
Hello everyone! My name is SuperKamek, and welcome to a new show I like to call... "Metacritic Monday"! Even though we're starting on a Tuesday... Whatever! The point is that ever since my last two looks at some other reviews for games (Chrono Trigger and MH4U), I wanted to make a thing out of this. So every Monday, I'll be releasing a new dissection of a comment that I find on Metacritic that I found offensive, harmful, or just plain bad.
Please, please, PLEASE take note that I will not be ripping apart reviews that are actually legit. If someone dislikes a game for a reason, I'm all okay with that. What I'm NOT okay with is false information, like those stupid "0/10" reviews you find sometimes. Also take note that this is for entertainment and comedy purposes only, so I will be exaggerating a few points I make. So, without further ado, let's delve into our "first" Metacritic Monday!
Obviously, our topic today is Undertale, the critically acclaimed PC game that has literally taken the internet by storm. I have no idea how long the fandom will last, but may as well enjoy it while it's here, eh? In other news, I found this one asshole who is so simple-minded, that he just gives zeros to anything he finds even remotely bad. Besides the fact this is extremely offensive to anyone who actually enjoys games like Fallout 4 or Roller Coaster Tycoon 2, it gets even better when you discover he just leaves these comments...
...because he's a troll. Seriously, if you check out his page here, you'll find he's given good reviews to shit games, and bad reviews to good games. But this makes my job easier because now there's really no one I can offend. Anyway, let's get this show on the road, eh?
This is my legitimate journalistic review of Undertale. Story: Relies too much on Family Guy style humor and has no heart. Very generic and boring!! 0/10. Graphics: Terrible. There are Atari 2600 games that look better! 0/10, Gameplay: boring puzzles and rpg combat, really easy, generic, and takes no skill! 0/10 Optimization: Only runs on PC! I couldn't run it on my Xbox One so I was stuck playing it on an old laptop where it ran poorly! 0/10! Music: Just a bunch of weird computer generated songs that hurt my ears! Very annoying!!! 0/10
OVERALL SCORE: 0/10!!! I can't recommend this game to anybody! The high review scores on here make me think that the developer paid for them! Very possible this is the worst game of all time. If you want me to recommend a game better than Undertale, I'd suggest Madden or Call of Duty: Black Ops 3.
Y'know what? I think this speaks for itself. However, I still have the dirty deed of digging through shit like this just to make you all smile and be happy that you aren't assholes like this guy. Let's begin!
This is my legitimate journalistic review of Undertale.
Oh, I'm sure.
Story: Relies too much on Family Guy style humor and has no heart.
So you're saying the story is that "relies too much on Family Guy humor"? First of all, that doesn't make any sense, but second of all, that's not even the story. Stay on topic, okay, sweetheart?
Very generic and boring!! 0/10.
Okay? Wanna explain why?
Graphics: Terrible. There are Atari 2600 games that look better! 0/10,
Well, the point of the game is to callback to systems like the NES and all the Atari systems, so... blows your theory out of the water.
Gameplay: boring puzzles and rpg combat, really easy, generic, and takes no skill! 0/10
Clearly you haven't played through the Genocide route yet.
Optimization: Only runs on PC!
...because it's a PC game?
I couldn't run it on my Xbox One so I was stuck playing it on an old laptop where it ran poorly! 0/10!
First off, you're an idiot. Second off, get a new one.
Music: Just a bunch of weird computer generated songs that hurt my ears! Very annoying!!! 0/10
Fuck you.
And fuck you.
And most importantly, fuck you!
OVERALL SCORE: 0/10!!! I can't recommend this game to anybody!
All two people with you?
The high review scores on here make me think that the developer paid for them!
Silly reviewer! That's something only EA does!
Very possible this is the worst game of all time.
Clearly you haven't played the game. Sort of an important step you missed, eh?
If you want me to recommend a game better than Undertale, I'd suggest Madden or Call of Duty: Black Ops 3.
Ah, that answers a lot of questions I had...
And that concludes today's Metacritic Monday! Our special Tuesday edition! Stay away from this reviewer; he is just a troll that wants you to feel bad about yourself. And if he continues what he's doing, he's gonna have a bad time. But if there is one good thing I can say about this guy?
He doesn't like Star Wars: Battlefront 3.
*Puts a X next to your name on a piece of paper* Cross you of the list of potential Gray Squadron members.
3666013
Sorry, mate... I just really don't like the game. Sure, I won't deny it's probably the best looking and best sounding game of last year, but I would just like to stick with my other Battlefront games, y'know?
3666027
I prefer Battlefront II over EA Battlefront but the latter lets me play with friends and a Xbox controller.
This guy is begging for a dagger up against his throat
I will say this one thing about your review.
is EA really that bad???
I don't know why everyone hates them so much but I assume there's a reason. I don't know why though. the only thing I know them for is one series 'Command and Conquer' which I loved. Why are they bad. Educate me
Love the new avatar. Super cute!
Ok, first, those songs are amazing. You've actually inspired me to get the game on my PC. Screw this spoiled brat that has a PC AND an xbox 1 and is bragging and complaining abt it!
Just went to his site, can't post fricken' comments
. He doesn't deserve to be on a critic site. He either rates everything with a 0 or a 10. If I could comment, I would unleash the rage of Lillipup on his ugly face! As you can tell, I'm very angry right now.
3666630
Thank you!
3666657
Go for it, mate! The game is super good!
3666549
Okay... Short version, EA screws everything up. Long version... I'll make a blog about that.
3672980
alright.
I only knew them for COC...god I never new how close that was if you just added a K
I honestly didn't really like the music in Undertale all that much outside of the Temmie village and the Tem shop theme song. ._.
3787046
Everyone has their preferences in music, right?
Hey, that's absolutely alright.