Silent Night, Bloody Night (1972)

There's something about old soup that just doesn't have any real appeal. I'm not talking, "We made it two days ago and we have to have it again because there's so much of it," old soup. I'm talking about, "Hey look I found a can of it in the pantry and it's six months past the expiration date, well nobody else is going to eat it," old soup. Well here I sit with that particular can of old soup warmed and ready for consumption. As I look at the steaming bowl I can't help but think that Starlight Glimmer reminds me of a can of old soup.

Now when you were first introduced to Starlight Glimmer, much like the can of soup, you may have thought she looked good. She had an iron will, she was the kind of character that could provide a meaningful and enriching challenge to our protagonists. You may have thought this was the kind of villain that not only could go beyond one season of do-bad but, probably would have an interesting backstory filled with a meaningful rise in power and so on.

Then you waited awhile. Much like that can of soup you shoved the character to the back of the pantry. It waited. Occasionally you'd see it from a distance and you'd think, "Hey that's that can of soup. I'll get to it later." So it waits. You eat other things and then finally you get around to that can of soup and it's not held up at all. That's Starlight Glimmer in a nutshell.

She's got some appeal still much like that soup but, you've seen it before. Moondancer was the same flavor though with less ambition. Napoleon from Animal Farm stayed true to his desire to keep power via deceit and force unlike Starlight Glimmer who gets one whiff of Armageddon and wants compadres and to do good. Throw on a hackneyed backstory in a two part episode and you have a tiresome character.

So, what could have been different? First, she's really good at magic. Wouldn't it have been interesting if the reason she was picked on or bullied was because she was so good at magic? The fact is that some people do get treated like garbage because they are really good at something be it school work, art, music, even sports. Sometimes it drives them over the edge and they become awful people bent on revenge. Maybe she lashes out at those who make fun of her in a G rated version of Carrie and gets in trouble for it. Maybe the one friend she has then also backs away cause she's a bad girl who only causes trouble.

If you follow this general logic the desire to make everyone equal so as to avoid conflict makes sense. Then by keeping everyone equal they won't fight. She then starts growing her own self importance in that she has to keep them in order and close so they can all get along in their own little enclave. Eventually these things turn tyrannical and we go on from there.

You could then still make her a villain later on because the desire to control may never really leave her and now that she gets that it's okay to be special she then desires to be the MOST special and will destroy anyone who stands in her way of being that. Just an idea mind you. Better than ancient soup that's for sure.

Speaking of abused nutcases who should give themselves permanent hugs, Silent Night, Bloody Night features a whole slew of them. The premise of the movie centers around a piece of property known as the Butler House. Within the walls of the afore mentioned house many gruesome murders and acts of evil happened within, including the murder of the owner at one point Wilfred Butler.

The house ends up on the market after twenty years of being vacant but something tells me that someone doesn't want the property to be sold. This same someone also seems to be out for some sort of bloody revenge. But who is it? What could the motivation be? Why am I asking you?

The movie itself is a low budget old dark house movie. It boasts some quality actors including John Carradine and Tony award winning actor James Patterson. It also is one of the first movies that Lloyd Kaufman of Troma Studios helped produce. The camera work is inconsistent with the occasional, "Ah crap I dropped the camera," type shots yet also has some camera work that others of the horror genre probably looked at for inspiration. The music is wildly inconsistent as well. Sometimes it works sometimes it doesn't. All in all it's not the worst of its genre and in some respects is an interesting precursor of a few other films.

Stats: 14 dead bodies, 1 shirtless Patrick O'Neil (didn't need to see that), burning man, burning car, windshield smashing, POV wrench wielding escape, 1 dead dog, stabbing, chopping, shovel whacking, broken glass eye gouging, diary fu, organ fu, dancing doctors fu, ringing bell fu.

Shout Outs:

John Carradine as Towman who rings a bell to speak but does say, "Tear it down," when the topic of Butler House comes up.

Patrick O'Neil as the lawyer who is representing the seller for saying to his girlfriend, "One of the great pleasures in life is the anticipation of pleasure."

James Patterson as Jeffery Butler who says, "Do you mean how many years I've lived," when asked how old he is.

Mary Woronov as Diane Adams for keeping a piece handy and being awfully trusting of strangers and a good shot.

Staats Cotsworth as the disembodied voice of Wilfred Butler for saying "...one duty let him leave the house as I left it. Standing untouched to remind the world of its inhumanity and cruelty."

Check it out.