My apologies · 9:23pm Oct 23rd, 2015
I'm still not doing very well, and I know there are a lot of you who haven't been doing very well either, but every time I try to write something comforting to those of you who aren't doing very well it feels overwhelming and inadequate, so I'm sorry I'm not good at helping others when I'm in a bad state.
I can't write stories, or enjoy my hobbies, I struggle to do basic things like wash my hair and all I want to do lately is sleep because it means I'm not awake. My chest hurts from the depression and I feel like I'm constantly letting people down.
I pulled out of one of my interviews, because the thought of travelling all the way to Scotland for it was just too overwhelming. I feel like everyone is tutting at me for that desicion, but I felt so much anxiety everytime I thought about it, and it was days after I underwent med withdrawal.
tl;dr-things not good, hopefully things will get better.
I know EXACTLY how you feel. I struggle to enjoy some of my own hobbies right now because my mind won't shut up...especially when reading novels.
I also get the interview thing. It's hard to do anything when anxiety tries to take over your life. I haven't done any more grad school application stuff, or any job stuff. I haven't updated or published any stories. I haven't roleplayer on my blog for over a week. I look forward to sleeping because it's a break from my feelings and mind. I am so far behind on Drawlloween that I don't think I can catch up...
It's okay. We'll get through this. We will. We'll get better. Please keep going. I also get not knowing what to write. This is all so vague and common, all I'm writing to you right now. But I understand depression, and I really believe in you. In both of us.
And I suck at drawing but I might try to draw you something eventually in hopes of making you smile. It'll suck and i don't know when I'll do it, but I'll try...
Breathe