A Request to All Authors on Fimfiction · 10:45am Oct 13th, 2015
Being a writer is something that a lot of people aspire to. It is also quite challenging to be even a decent writer. A very good one doesn't only worry about grammar and formatting, but also accuracy wherever it applies. I, for example, do a whole lot of research when writing.
But we're not here to discuss about that.
It is sad to see that many amateur writers on this site just don't achieve much, usually faltering at the basics: grammar and formatting.
I can forgive odd sentence structures; I can tolerate inappropriate words; I can overlook even basic typos.
What I cannot overlook is text walls.
Night reigned upon Equestria, its dark veil covering the land, sea and sky. Shy of a few nocturnal insects the wildlife laid asleep, blissfully ignorant of their surroundings and the small events of the night. Likewise Canterlot was almost devoid of activity; had it been a smaller village or town like Appleloosa or Ponyville all of its residents would be asleep. The Royal Guard kept a few patrols throughout the night and some ponies had nightly activities or duties, but none of them were particularly alert as one pony: Princess Luna.
Princess Luna had never slept through a night like other ponies because she, unlike most, marveled continually over the vastness and sheer beauty of the night sky and moon. Why wouldn't she? If Luna detested the night she wouldn't have taken on the responsibility of controlling nightfall on a daily basis. Despite having done the task for centuries the stars and light spectacles in the night sky still held some secrets that she could only guess at. Contrary to popular pony belief she and her sister Celestia did not create night and day; they controlled the transitions between the two. Granted the cycles of night and day did still occur naturally but the shift was very fast, creating essentially hour-long days. This was less than conducive to not only any progression of life in Equestria but the survivability of it as well. A heavy burden lay upon both the Princesses' haunches, if it weren't for either of them, life on the world would have been very different. As such while both Celestia and Luna - especially Luna - knew more about the moon and stars than the average pony they didn't quite know what to make of the vast space that covered the distance between their world, the moon, stars... and possibly beyond. Why was it so dangerous and difficult to traverse the cold darkness? Pegasi would die if they tried to fly through it (or at least be discouraged enough to turn back); unicorns would drain their energy far too soon attempting to levitate themselves, let alone casting a protective bubble on themselves to make the journey through the black space; and earth ponies... well, they had no chance whatsoever of making it through, not by themselves at least. Only alicorns, with their wings and magic, could travel between their world, the moon and beyond.
It was a sad fact that only two Alicorns existed: Celestia and Luna. Their responsibility over Equestria kept them from trying to travel to the stars. It wasn't so much the risk of never returning as it was as the possible futility of such an attempt. What if they just couldn't reach the stars? What if they were just lights? Was there anything else beyond them and if so would it be worth trying to reach the as-of-yet unknown? As vast as space was Celestia was assured that there was nothing beyond the stars. Luna, on the other hand, didn't share her sister's certainty. Not that she didn't believe her sister, but it had been due to the dark entity that had once possessed her: Nightmare Moon.
Nightmare Moon was a mystery to all. It was a widely accepted belief that Nightmare Moon was a dark personality within Luna which took a life of its own a millennia ago and taken over the princess. When the Bearers of Harmony defeated Nightmare Moon and freed Luna from her grasp, everypony believed that Nightmare Moon was gone for good. But Luna thought differently; Nightmare Moon had never been created by her. She was, as far as Luna knew, a foreign entity which harbored in Luna, took her form and twisted it in Nightmare's image. When Luna was released from Nightmare Moon, she felt the touch of another consciousness as it left a very clear message in Luna's mind. She cringed and was left baffled every time she heard those cold words speak in her head and did her best to keep them from surfacing but the message repeated itself to her occasionally:
'Look to the moon my sweet Luna. A great tribulation will befall in due time, and neither me, you, Celestia, or anypony else will be able to stop it. They are coming from beyond.'
An extract from the first chapter of my first ever MLP fanfiction on Fanfiction.net
Did you feel overwhelmed by the sheer volume of words that were on your screen? Were you unable to read through this?
If you've answered yes to either question, then you have had to deal with the least possibly unformatted form of a text wall. With paragraphs bleeding into each other, this makes it not only difficult for the eyes to look over but also difficult to distinguish when a new paragraph is presented, breaking the flow of the narrative. Regardless to say, if your reader cannot discriminate paragraphs in a passage that you've written, something has gone terribly wrong.
Fortunately, I have yet to see a story on this site written like this.
What I see a lot more, however, is not much better:
Night reigned upon Equestria, its dark veil covering the land, sea and sky. Shy of a few nocturnal insects the wildlife laid asleep, blissfully ignorant of their surroundings and the small events of the night. Likewise Canterlot was almost devoid of activity; had it been a smaller village or town like Appleloosa or Ponyville all of its residents would be asleep. The Royal Guard kept a few patrols throughout the night and some ponies had nightly activities or duties, but none of them were particularly alert as one pony: Princess Luna.
Princess Luna had never slept through a night like other ponies because she, unlike most, marveled continually over the vastness and sheer beauty of the night sky and moon. Why wouldn't she? If Luna detested the night she wouldn't have taken on the responsibility of controlling nightfall on a daily basis. Despite having done the task for centuries the stars and light spectacles in the night sky still held some secrets that she could only guess at. Contrary to popular pony belief she and her sister Celestia did not create night and day; they controlled the transitions between the two. Granted the cycles of night and day did still occur naturally but the shift was very fast, creating essentially hour-long days. This was less than conducive to not only any progression of life in Equestria but the survivability of it as well. A heavy burden lay upon both the Princesses' haunches, if it weren't for either of them, life on the world would have been very different. As such while both Celestia and Luna - especially Luna - knew more about the moon and stars than the average pony they didn't quite know what to make of the vast space that covered the distance between their world, the moon, stars... and possibly beyond. Why was it so dangerous and difficult to traverse the cold darkness? Pegasi would die if they tried to fly through it (or at least be discouraged enough to turn back); unicorns would drain their energy far too soon attempting to levitate themselves, let alone casting a protective bubble on themselves to make the journey through the black space; and earth ponies... well, they had no chance whatsoever of making it through, not by themselves at least. Only alicorns, with their wings and magic, could travel between their world, the moon and beyond.
It was a sad fact that only two Alicorns existed: Celestia and Luna. Their responsibility over Equestria kept them from trying to travel to the stars. It wasn't so much the risk of never returning as it was as the possible futility of such an attempt. What if they just couldn't reach the stars? What if they were just lights? Was there anything else beyond them and if so would it be worth trying to reach the as-of-yet unknown? As vast as space was Celestia was assured that there was nothing beyond the stars. Luna, on the other hand, didn't share her sister's certainty. Not that she didn't believe her sister, but it had been due to the dark entity that had once possessed her: Nightmare Moon.
Nightmare Moon was a mystery to all. It was a widely accepted belief that Nightmare Moon was a dark personality within Luna which took a life of its own a millennia ago and taken over the princess. When the Bearers of Harmony defeated Nightmare Moon and freed Luna from her grasp, everypony believed that Nightmare Moon was gone for good. But Luna thought differently; Nightmare Moon had never been created by her. She was, as far as Luna knew, a foreign entity which harbored in Luna, took her form and twisted it in Nightmare's image. When Luna was released from Nightmare Moon, she felt the touch of another consciousness as it left a very clear message in Luna's mind. She cringed and was left baffled every time she heard those cold words speak in her head and did her best to keep them from surfacing but the message repeated itself to her occasionally:
'Look to the moon my sweet Luna. A great tribulation will befall in due time, and neither me, you, Celestia, or anypony else will be able to stop it. They are coming from beyond.'
Somewhat less difficult on the eyes.
I can already hear some of you asking 'But GIULIO, the paragraphs are indented. The wall's been broken up. How is this not much better than your first example?'
Well, I'll let you in on a little secret. While this example is the exact style of formatting that is used in traditional literature (paper books), it's not entirely suited to the comparitively large computer screen that you're most likely using to read this.
The key is the actual number of words presented in individual pages: the font size is generally determined by the average amount of words that a reader will read per page, so as not to overwhelm the eye.
However, on computer screens, Fimfiction presents passages in entire blocks. There are no page breaks to cut down on the volume that is shown to the reader. And if you're one who likes to read with small fonts like myself, this causes a problem if stories are formatted in the same way as the latter example. You tire far more quickly, and as such, you at best skim and at worst, stop reading. I've stopped reading many promising stories because I just couldn't read them. It's fine if I'm on my mobile, but I don't often use that to read on Fimfic stories.
'But GIULIO,' I hear you asking again, 'Why don't you just use the reader formatting to give extra space so that there aren't as many words presented?'
Problem is, I've already done that. Want to see the previous example without that bit of formatting?
.
Night reigned upon Equestria, its dark veil covering the land, sea and sky. Shy of a few nocturnal insects the wildlife laid asleep, blissfully ignorant of their surroundings and the small events of the night. Likewise Canterlot was almost devoid of activity; had it been a smaller village or town like Appleloosa or Ponyville all of its residents would be asleep. The Royal Guard kept a few patrols throughout the night and some ponies had nightly activities or duties, but none of them were particularly alert as one pony: Princess Luna.
Princess Luna had never slept through a night like other ponies because she, unlike most, marveled continually over the vastness and sheer beauty of the night sky and moon. Why wouldn't she? If Luna detested the night she wouldn't have taken on the responsibility of controlling nightfall on a daily basis. Despite having done the task for centuries the stars and light spectacles in the night sky still held some secrets that she could only guess at. Contrary to popular pony belief she and her sister Celestia did not create night and day; they controlled the transitions between the two. Granted the cycles of night and day did still occur naturally but the shift was very fast, creating essentially hour-long days. This was less than conducive to not only any progression of life in Equestria but the survivability of it as well. A heavy burden lay upon both the Princesses' haunches, if it weren't for either of them, life on the world would have been very different. As such while both Celestia and Luna - especially Luna - knew more about the moon and stars than the average pony they didn't quite know what to make of the vast space that covered the distance between their world, the moon, stars... and possibly beyond. Why was it so dangerous and difficult to traverse the cold darkness? Pegasi would die if they tried to fly through it (or at least be discouraged enough to turn back); unicorns would drain their energy far too soon attempting to levitate themselves, let alone casting a protective bubble on themselves to make the journey through the black space; and earth ponies... well, they had no chance whatsoever of making it through, not by themselves at least. Only alicorns, with their wings and magic, could travel between their world, the moon and beyond.
It was a sad fact that only two Alicorns existed: Celestia and Luna. Their responsibility over Equestria kept them from trying to travel to the stars. It wasn't so much the risk of never returning as it was as the possible futility of such an attempt. What if they just couldn't reach the stars? What if they were just lights? Was there anything else beyond them and if so would it be worth trying to reach the as-of-yet unknown? As vast as space was Celestia was assured that there was nothing beyond the stars. Luna, on the other hand, didn't share her sister's certainty. Not that she didn't believe her sister, but it had been due to the dark entity that had once possessed her: Nightmare Moon.
Nightmare Moon was a mystery to all. It was a widely accepted belief that Nightmare Moon was a dark personality within Luna which took a life of its own a millennia ago and taken over the princess. When the Bearers of Harmony defeated Nightmare Moon and freed Luna from her grasp, everypony believed that Nightmare Moon was gone for good. But Luna thought differently; Nightmare Moon had never been created by her. She was, as far as Luna knew, a foreign entity which harbored in Luna, took her form and twisted it in Nightmare's image. When Luna was released from Nightmare Moon, she felt the touch of another consciousness as it left a very clear message in Luna's mind. She cringed and was left baffled every time she heard those cold words speak in her head and did her best to keep them from surfacing but the message repeated itself to her occasionally:
'Look to the moon my sweet Luna. A great tribulation will befall in due time, and neither me, you, Celestia, or anypony else will be able to stop it. They are coming from beyond.'
.
MY EYES THEY BURN
Ouch. Sure, without the extra space in between the lines there is less screen being used, but that's a bad thing. Unfortunately there's no way to format the space in between paragraphs for the reader, so it's up to the writer (or editor, if they've got one) to format their stories so as to make it easier for their readers.
The simple solution to this is to add an extra space in between paragraphs while writing. After every paragraph, instead of pressing enter once, you press it twice.
Night reigned upon Equestria, its dark veil covering the land, sea and sky. Shy of a few nocturnal insects the wildlife laid asleep, blissfully ignorant of their surroundings and the small events of the night. Likewise Canterlot was almost devoid of activity; had it been a smaller village or town like Appleloosa or Ponyville all of its residents would be asleep. The Royal Guard kept a few patrols throughout the night and some ponies had nightly activities or duties, but none of them were particularly alert as one pony: Princess Luna.
Princess Luna had never slept through a night like other ponies because she, unlike most, marveled continually over the vastness and sheer beauty of the night sky and moon. Why wouldn't she? If Luna detested the night she wouldn't have taken on the responsibility of controlling nightfall on a daily basis. Despite having done the task for centuries the stars and light spectacles in the night sky still held some secrets that she could only guess at. Contrary to popular pony belief she and her sister Celestia did not create night and day; they controlled the transitions between the two. Granted the cycles of night and day did still occur naturally but the shift was very fast, creating essentially hour-long days. This was less than conducive to not only any progression of life in Equestria but the survivability of it as well. A heavy burden lay upon both the Princesses' haunches, if it weren't for either of them, life on the world would have been very different. As such while both Celestia and Luna - especially Luna - knew more about the moon and stars than the average pony they didn't quite know what to make of the vast space that covered the distance between their world, the moon, stars... and possibly beyond. Why was it so dangerous and difficult to traverse the cold darkness? Pegasi would die if they tried to fly through it (or at least be discouraged enough to turn back); unicorns would drain their energy far too soon attempting to levitate themselves, let alone casting a protective bubble on themselves to make the journey through the black space; and earth ponies... well, they had no chance whatsoever of making it through, not by themselves at least. Only alicorns, with their wings and magic, could travel between their world, the moon and beyond.
It was a sad fact that only two Alicorns existed: Celestia and Luna. Their responsibility over Equestria kept them from trying to travel to the stars. It wasn't so much the risk of never returning as it was as the possible futility of such an attempt. What if they just couldn't reach the stars? What if they were just lights? Was there anything else beyond them and if so would it be worth trying to reach the as-of-yet unknown? As vast as space was Celestia was assured that there was nothing beyond the stars. Luna, on the other hand, didn't share her sister's certainty. Not that she didn't believe her sister, but it had been due to the dark entity that had once possessed her: Nightmare Moon.
Nightmare Moon was a mystery to all. It was a widely accepted belief that Nightmare Moon was a dark personality within Luna which took a life of its own a millennia ago and taken over the princess. When the Bearers of Harmony defeated Nightmare Moon and freed Luna from her grasp, everypony believed that Nightmare Moon was gone for good. But Luna thought differently; Nightmare Moon had never been created by her. She was, as far as Luna knew, a foreign entity which harbored in Luna, took her form and twisted it in Nightmare's image. When Luna was released from Nightmare Moon, she felt the touch of another consciousness as it left a very clear message in Luna's mind. She cringed and was left baffled every time she heard those cold words speak in her head and did her best to keep them from surfacing but the message repeated itself to her occasionally:
'Look to the moon my sweet Luna. A great tribulation will befall in due time, and neither me, you, Celestia, or anypony else will be able to stop it. They are coming from beyond.'
Finally, something that doesn't physically assault the eyes.
As you can see, the difference is night and day. While you might have to scroll to see the whole passage, your eyes will not tire as easily. Compare this passage to the first that I presented. Much easier to read than the first, right? This also makes it so that you don't have to worry about paragraph indentation as they are already separate enough from one another that it makes it uneccessary. If you wanna indent with this format, hey, that's up to you, and nobody is gonna complain.
Fortunately enough, what I've said here won't be necessary for most writers on this site. This is just a reminder to all of those authors out there with good stories that look like text walls to keep in mind of your readers' experience. Make it as comfortable as possible, and not only will you have the gratitude of those who stuck it out despite the discomfort, but that of new readers as well!
Building a brighter Fimfiction step by step,
GIULIO
PS: I am writing, don't you worry guys. 
