Reviel of ummm...I'am The Eggman. That's what I am

If I fear someone will delete the review I will post it here.

ll, if I'm going to review something for the second time, it might as well be this. See, the first story I reviewed was about abortion, and the only thing more fucking retarded than trying to mix abotion and My Little Pony, is trying to mix Sonic and My Little Pony.

Let's begin.

Ok stop me if you heard this part of a story before if you are smart enough. A man or woman goes to a convention while cosplaying as their favourite character from a tv show, comic book or video game.

Dr Ivo Eggman Robotnik from Sonic the Hedgehog or Dr Eggman to simple things down for you.

Either "Doctor Ivo yatta yatta" or "Dr.Robotnik" or "Dr.Eggman."

Anyway this man or woman buys a item or items from a merchant who dress up as a merchant from a video game.

It's not hard to tell like, 99% of the time.

Also, if your character loves video games so much why can't they recognize which game this merchant is from?

I brought the life size models of Orbot and Cubot COMMA Eggman’s most loyal robot minions.
After buying the item the man or woman blacks out and when he or she wakes up he or she discover that he or she is in Equestria a 1000 years in its past, while also discovering that he or she has become the character he or she was dress up as.

Also that was just the worst. Show me that it is Equestria, show me that it is a millennium ago. Describe things, lead the audience into it.

I'd rather read into it and later go "oh, this is the past? Neat," than "oh, okay, it's the past I guess, whatever."

When I woke up in Equestria I had notice that the life size models of Orbot and Cubot had became real, that and I getting tons of ideas to build all kinds of machines.

I am so incredibly fucking sick of reading HiE fics where they just wake up in Equestria, it is not hard to describe how they get to Equestria, this is actually somehow lazier than "Celestia/Twilight flubbed a spell," stop it, stop this. If doesn't matter if it happens through some highly improbable means, your character is going to a fucking different world from a TV show, any means would be improbable.

When I woke up in Equestria I had notice that the life size models of Orbot and Cubot had became real, that and I getting tons of ideas to build all kinds of machines.
Anyway the man or woman meets princess’s Celestia and Luna something bad happen alongs the way which result him or her being sealed in stone.
When I first met the Princess’s they didn’t trust me at first but they soon did since they are at war with the other nations. Thanks to me Equestria had made peace with the other nations with in the year of my first meeting the Princess’s.

*noticed
*was getting

Fucking immediate tense change.

*princesses
*within
Get an editor.

Before I continue on how I got put in stone everyone in this version of Equestria are anthropomorphic just so you know.

I just downed almost a full bottle of rum for an internet joke. Your story may actually kill me.

Please stop vomiting exposition at me, I don't want to think about vomit.

I read the rest, but I'm drunk.

3/10

Story don't read it