Epic Rap Battles of Brockton Bay

A non-canon omake for A Friend in Need produced after binge-watching assorted Epic Rap Battles of X.

Leviathan:
A bad day in the Bay ‘cause I’m coming ashore.
You’ll go down with your town when they tally the score.
I’m the stud with the flood, claws drippin’ with blood.
They call me Leviathan. Your name is mud.
When I come around all the oceans are tossed.
Japan took a dive and Newfoundland was lost.
I bring the flow and the flood, waves crashing like thunder
I brought shrimp for the barby ‘cause we’re going down under.
Hands up everybody, we’re gonna get down.
I rock the party so hard all your sorrows will drown.
This master of disaster bringin’ rhymes that so fly.
Say hello, Brockton. Then wave goodbye.

Twilight Sparkle:
I come with a message that we can all coexist,
except for this monster that I’ll check off of my list.
They say I’m a nerd, I suppose that applies,
but of the two of us here, you’re the one with four eyes.
I’m ready for you and your aquatic aggression.
I did my research and now school is in session.
I shut down all your flows as my plan is revealed.
Now come at me fishy and choke on my shield.
You think that you’re fast? That you’re quick on the rhyme?
Just try and keep up as I bend space and time.
A creature so cryptic from the depths that ascends?
I can see through you with some help from my friends.

Simurgh:
Surprise little pony! It’s a matter of course,
Endbringers don’t lose to a horny winged horse.
You’ve got a plan you pulled out of your plot?
I spin the web in which everyone’s caught.
I cut you down like a weed, you purple-pink steed.
Now just trot away while Levi shows off his speed.
I’ll rip up the city, leave a barren expanse.
I’ll build a machine and the puppets will dance.
I’ll twist all emotion. My song will be sung.
My plan is in motion. My will shall be done.
All paths to disaster, all lined up in rows.
There’s no friendship here Sparkle, you’ll find only foes.

Princess Luna:
‘Ware, thou bleached harpy. Cry ‘alack and alas’,
for now doth the night fall upon thy pale ass.
Thou shouldst hast paid heed when thy sibling was schooled.
‘Tis time for thy lesson that the Princess doth rule.
If we needed a mic, we would on it be sick.
We shall now roast this turkey, and claim a drumstick.
With the rise of the moon, Simurgh’s song became silence.
The Princess got moves, witness medieval violence.
Thou art naught but a dream, and thy dreamer hath fled,
as hath thy scaled sibling. Now take a hoof to thy head.
The storm we command, thunder bass-beats be hurled.
Vic’try we proclaim, for we rock this world.

Comments

[Hatchett]

I just found this and holy sh*t it is awesome.