I'm Back! ...And Not Doing Well... · 5:02am Aug 4th, 2015
I took a long hiatus from FimFiction. There's no real reason for this, other than I just got wrapped up in other Internet things (YouTube, especially).
So, now that I'm back, I might as well say some stuff about myself.
A little over a year ago, I made a post saying that I was going to a rehabilitation program for my anxiety and depression.
Now, as I'm writing this, I have the urge to throw up.
That week-long experience has scarred me. Really, really scarred me. I can't even walk into a hospital without watching for someone chasing me with a syringe ready to plunge it into my neck. (I wasn't stabbed with a syringe in the program, don't worry) I'm terrified of hospitals and doctors. And expressing my feelings.
I won't talk to anyone--not my family, not even my counselor--about my homicidal and suicidal thoughts (I have both, and they're very frequent) because I know I'll get sent back to that stupid freaking program again. I'm scared, and I'm pissed off (excuse my language), and I don't know what to do.
I hate life, and I hate the people that are in my life.
I don't even think I'm going to make it to college without offing myself, because I don't know what I'm going to do with my life. I can't leave the house barely ever because of my social anxiety, I have no motivation, I want to kill everyone...
I'm at the end of my rope.
Oh...oh my.
If you need someone to talk to, I'm here for you.
I'll also be praying for you.
3294186 Thank you.
3295728
You're welcome.