28 years now. Still got a bit until I hit the truly scary 30! Don't really have anything big planned for my birthday. Been playing iRacing and then tonight I'm having dinner with my dad, so that'll be nice.
And also I feel like I should get in the habit of blogging a bit more. It's been a while.No Title · 6:31am Jul 6th, 2015
I can't seem to sleep. And I've been doing some thinking about my future. I have no doubt I'll have a good career, I'm not too worried about that. It's my social life I'm worried about, or obvious lack of one. I only have one friend in real life. I've only had one friend for over six years. I've had opportunities to make more, I never had the courage to capitalize on it. There's one major reason why I can't make friends. Fear. Every time someone tries to chat with me, mostly in college, I just clam up. I never start a conversation and when someone else does, I'm never able to hold it. It took me nearly two years before I got really active on this site aside from reading and writing stories. I keep thinking to myself, that my mom would know exactly how to help me. She always did in situations like this. I owe what little social life I have to her. God, I miss her right now.
I feel like I know exactly how my future will play out. After college, I'll get a good job at a major corporation and move up the food chain. I'll be successful. But I won't make any friends. I'll never experience friendship or love. I'll be miserable, but I will try to ignore by consuming myself in my work. I will live alone and I will die alone. I've dug my grave and it's too late to climb out. All I can do is wait to be buried in it.
I'm sorry. It's just that I get these waves of depression from time to time. I bury my emotions and they just burst out sometimes. I wear a mask. Rarely do I ever take it off. People don't like hearing about others that are depressed. Before I had all these followers, I had about eight people watching me. I was feeling depressed and wanted to get it off my chest. I posted two blogs and shortly after, I lost a follower. What killed me was that it was someone that had commented on my blogs not too long ago at the time. Losing that follower hurt. They were my very first follower ever on this site. I don't blame them for unfollowing me and I hold no ill will against them. In fact, I still think they're a very nice person. I learned that sometimes it's better to just shut up and deal with it alone. People care if someone's having a rough day or maybe even a week. But no one wants to hear about someone that's been depressed for a long time.
I'm sorry, I just needed to let this all out...
Sure, you lost a follower, but you found out who your real friends were on this site.
It's better to let it out than bottle it up, dude. Believe me.
We're your friends here, bro. Come here, mate. *hugs like a true friend* Let it all out. I had the same situation like this not so long ago. Life is tough, but we'll be here to make it easier for ya.
Alright, my main man? You're awesome! 
The fear makes perfect sense. Remember that you have nothing to lose from talking from people. Also, as long as you keep your heart open, you'll definitely make friends.
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Thanks guys. Thank you all so much for your kind words.
3212533 No problem! Anything to help out a good buddy!
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No problem, bro.
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