Big Update on my new fic & a Preview of Chapter 1! · 12:13am Jul 18th, 2012
Hello again everyone! I just want to thank those of you who have already offered your support and kind words for my up and coming fic! It took some time, but I finally have a title, and I've also chosen a name for the human. But that won't be revealed till you actually read all of chapter 1.
For now I am happily going to announce the title of this new fic - starring Princess Celestia, and even sweeter, I am giving you a nice preview of chapter 1, nearly the first 1,700 words!!
The story is going to be called "You Brighten My Day". I spent quite some time mulling over a number of possible titles, but I feel this one best captures the mood of the two main characters.
With that all said, here is the first of two pics of Celestia that represent the first and last scenes of the preview. I hope you all enjoy it!
Chapter 1 - Preview
It was late morning near the lively town of Canterlot. The proud sun was slowly approaching its zenith in the cerulean sky. It basked its golden rays along the kingdom. Princess Celestia felt the warm caress of its light fall against her, as she gazed out over the grassy field near the castle.
She expelled a sorrowful sigh. Sadly the princess was not her normal cheerful self. A harsh truth had been looming in the back of her mind. Most days she could easily dismiss this feeling, but after hearing the latest murmuring gossip among her guards and servants, she found it was impossible to ignore.
Ruling over a kingdom and taking charge of the raising and setting of two celestial bodies can take a toll on even the mightiest of ponies. Princess Celestia was no exception. That was why she was eternally grateful to have her sister, Princess Luna, back ruling the land with her. However the burdens of leadership and the obligations it brought forth were not what truly was bothering her. No, her sorrows were of a different nature. During the 1,000 years she was in charge of Equestria’s care, she was beloved and revered by all of her loyal and loving subjects, or at least that’s what she had come to believe. But as of late a harsh truth came to the princess’s attention.
At first it seemed like just another run of the mill rumor started by a bunch of gossiping castle maids. However, after looking into the matter and even inadvertently overhearing conversations amongst her guards and servants, Princess Celestia found out these were not just the subject of idle gossip. The harsh reality was that the alicorn wasn’t as sincerely loved and adored as she had once thought. In fact evidence suggested that this had been an ongoing development, taking place during the past several decades.
Princess Celestia couldn’t believe it was the truth. But the proof was overwhelming. The horrible things some had said about her left her greatly disturbed. The mantle of leadership brings with it serious obligations. Thus over time the princess was forced to adapt and even change her personality to match the needs of her subjects, in order to grow into a better leader. Sadly this ultimately altered the way she was perceived by many of the others. After once being revered as warm, joyful and loving, Celestia found out that many ponies now regarded her as rigid, uncaring, distant and overly strict, and thus no fun to be around. When in reality, this couldn’t be further from the truth. The princess still loved all of her subjects and cared deeply for the well being of each and every one of them. She only acted harsh and strict at times, because Celestia often needed to make the difficult decisions all leaders had to make at one point or another.
As the gossip spread, the truth about Celestia seemed to become obscured. Those harsh opinions were only perpetrated by the cold reality that many only pretended to love her. She learned that a large number of her subjects befriended and revered her only for the status claiming to know her would grant them in the eyes of others.
She didn’t want to believe any of this was true. After all there were still many of her friends and subjects who truly did love her…so then why did the fact that there were a large number of malcontents and phonies out there begin weighing so heavily on her mind? Perhaps it was due to the most harrowing truth of them all. Sadly Princess Celestia hadn’t known the support of a caring lover in quite some time. If she had a special somepony, she could have turned to them for comfort. The last one she had was a stout member of her royal guard. For a number of years he had been a good and faithful companion…or so she thought. When the truth came out, she discovered he had only been kind to her so he could brag to his friends that he was with the princess of Canterlot. To her dismay he wasn’t the only one like that. All too often did the princess’s relationships end when she learned that her suitors cared more about their status, than about her. In the many centuries she had been alive, only one stallion ever truly loved her the way she wanted. Tragically, he fell in battle saving her from a vicious demon. To this day part of Celestia never got over his death. It was a secret she never shared with anypony. Only her sister Princess Luna knew about it and she rarely brought the matter up, because she knew how it still saddened Celestia.
All these facts left her laying there on the soft grass with a heavy heart. A solitary tear rolled down her elegant white cheek. Celestia wasn’t feeling very much like a princess. She had removed her crown, necklace and her four elegant shoes, scattering them a few feet from where she lay. For a time she had no idea what to do. All she could ponder was how badly she wanted to get away from everything…if only for a little while. The loneliness she felt in her heart was almost palpable. It was never her wish to neglect her own well being, but despite her position of authority, Celestia seemed to naturally put the needs of others before her own. It was just part of who she was and went all the way back to how she had been raised by her parents.
Then an idea came to her just as the sound of flapping wings caught her attention. Craning her head up, she spied her sister, Princess Luna. Her sister gracefully landed and walked up to her.
“There you are,” called Luna. “I’ve been looking all over Canterlot for you.”
Celestia looked at Luna and feigned a smile. “Oh, hello Luna. Why have you been looking for me?” she asked.
Gauging the expression on her elder sister’s face, Luna thought the answer was pretty obvious. “I would think it obvious. There is something bothering you. Though usually you are better at hiding it in your eyes. And I’m not the only pony worried about you. Several of the guards and maids brought your well being to my attention,” replied Luna.
Celestia shook her head and let out a short sigh. “It’s sweet of you to be concerned dear sister, but I’m fine, really. Besides, I don’t want to trouble you with anything,” she explained.
“It’s no problem Celestia. Just know I am always here for you…just as you have been there for me,” said Luna giving her sister a warm smile.
Celestia walked over to Luna and patted her shoulder. “I know you are Luna. But I think, what I need is to get away for a while. It would seem the pressures of leadership are taking their toll on me. I’m a little embarrassed to admit it,” she noted.
Luna shook her head. “Nonsense. You haven’t had any true time off in months. And let’s not forget all those countless years you watched over things,” Luna remarked. She smiled again and looked at her elder sister. “I’ll tell you what. Take some time off. I’ll take care of the sun and moon and keep an eye on the kingdom while you’re away.”
A true smile formed on Celestia’s face. This was welcomed news. Perhaps some time off was all she needed. Then maybe she could make sense of things. “Thank you Luna. You don’t know how much I appreciate that. But are you sure you’ll be okay?” Celestia asked, continuing to voice her concern.
Luna placed a hoof across her chest and closed her eyes. “I shall be fine dear sister. Leave everything in my capable hooves. You need some time to rest.”
“Okay Luna. I trust you. Besides you’ve been doing a wonderful job safe guarding the night. I know you’ll do fine!” declared Celestia. The two sisters hugged and shared a short chuckle.
Celestia gathered her shoes and jewelry, and then placed them back on, before making her way back to the castle. Once she was alone in her room, she fetched a book from a nearby shelf. She flipped through searching for a specific passage. It was directly related to the idea she had just prior to Luna’s arrival. Now she was ready to indulge in a simple curiosity. She pointed her hoof at the desired passage of the book. Carefully she read the entry and confirmed her suspicions. A smile formed on her face, as she went to another shelf and removed a rolled up map of Equestria. She unfurled it across her desk. There she checked a region north of Canterlot. Her hoof slipped and creased the map along the area she had just checked. Thankfully the map hadn’t torn. Nodding her head, Celestia was ready to make the journey to this somewhat remote location.
She took her saddlebags and filled them with a few items and provisions. There was no need for her to take the map, now that she had reacquainted herself with the area in question. Besides Celestia was an excellent navigator, even if only a few ponies actually knew that.
After saying a brief farewell to Luna, Celestia left Canterlot, taking to the air. Spreading her elegant white wings, she rose into the cerulean skies of Equestria. The wind swept across her face as she sailed through the air, beating her wings majestically as she flew.
The vista was truly breath taking, but the scenery was of little interest to her. Celestia’s mind was focused on her destination. After flying for nearly half and hour, she spied a rocky outcropping along the side of a mountain. The princess landed along the flat portion of the cliff. There she stood overlooking the northern mountains. The sun’s rays shone across the valley and reflected along Celestia’s vibrant white coat. She gazed down at the forest along the valley’s center. There she would find the objective of her journey.
That's the preview, I hope you enjoyed it. I welcome your input and comments as well. And keep in mind there is much more to come! The chapter has actually exceeded my 5,000 word limit, but as I said, I don't mind doing a few longer chapters now and then. Currently it's over 6,200 words. I should finish the rough draft of chapter 1 tonight and hopefully will get to start chapter 2.
Take care everyone! Till later!
Why must you tease me?
When do you think chapter 1 will be posted?
236751
Hopefully by the weekend at the absolute latest. I'm thinking of doing chapter 2 before submitting. I want to give you guys a nice start for this new story. But if you are all chomping at the bit that much...I may just edit chapter 1 later today and post it tonight or tomorrow morning (thursday am). I just wasn't sure if chapter 1 will be enough to get things started.
To be fair I didn't read the "preview"...Because I don't want to spoil my self...And if I did I've be like this
and then this
or this
But I didn't really read the preview..
That was a really well done preview! You've come a long way since "A Total Eclipse of Their Hearts" so far. Initial issues you had with the story are non-existent here and you're pacing yourself excellent with only a 1700 word preview. Now the thing you need to be crucially careful with is the romance between Celestia and whomever the human she happens to stumble into is. I still love "A Total Eclipse of Their Hearts", but I really had wished things had been better paced, but I have confidence you'll do a better job this time around.
237024
well if the full chapter is as good as the preveiw then I''d say things are looking great. Though I have to agree with HenryAnthonyCourtler on one part, don't rush into romance too soon.
237068
I think you aren't alone. The lack of comments now that the preview is up, seems to be proof of that. So I am going to get chapter 1 up shortly.
237200 & 237534
I honestly hadn't thought I rushed the romance too soon in "A Total Eclipse of Their Hearts". Now I admit I sort of cheated in that one and had a period of 6 days elapse without bothering to detail them. But I wasn't sure if everyone wanted me to go that much into detail. I mean do you guys like each day to be documented or don't you mind if there is a part that starts for example: "Seven days had passed since the two had met and things were really looking up."
But I get your message and will do my best not to disappoint. Just understand one thing with the human heart. It can be quite fickle and unpredictable. While love at first sight is mostly a pipe dream, it can sometimes happen, if the conditions are right for it. But I am not planning anything like that for this story. So rest assured. And since you all are chomping at the bit. I'm going to edit chapter 1 and get it posted either later tonight or tomorrow morning. I don't want to rush chapter 2 just so I can post the start of the fic. And after mulling it over, I've decided Chapter 1 should be enough to get the ball rolling. Besides I want to leave people hanging so I attract more followers.
I will let you guys know one thing. The last two days I've had some issues with connecting to FIMfiction. Last night was the worst. I guess they had to update something in the database. 30,000+ stories and all the other content must be a major undertaking to maintain. So I do not blame them at all, just wanted to let you guys know if I am delayed, it's nothing intentional.
OOOOOOOOHHHH! This is just too good! I need to read the whole chapter already! It's about time someone writes a TRUE Human X Celestia story already! Great job on the preview!
237683
The story has been submitted with all of Chapter 1. And thanks for the comment! I hope I deliver!