... I'm sorry · 11:23am Mar 17th, 2015
Hey everyone, it's been a while... I'm sorry. The chapter is pretty much complete save for another pass at it. It's... been that way since the last blog post. I bet some of you are wondering why that is. To put it simply I have been having a rough time. For instance the very thought of typing what has been going on is making my hands shake and I am very close to selecting all and hitting backspace. I feel like I have been hiding. When I see notifications I panic, because I feel bad for not doing my best. I am going to try to stop that, but I have no energy.
Here is what is wrong with me. I have vertigo. It's undiagnosed ONLY because it is hard to get it recognized as that. They attempt to rule everything else first. I have had lots of tests done with no result and I still feel dizzy nearly constantly. It's only due to a friend's dad that I even know what to do if I absolutely need to do stuff during a day. He's got vertigo too, and his advice has been invaluable. Why's all that prevent me from writing? Simply put it doesn't. The depression that comes from being a burden on my family and not being able to work because I can't be trusted to stand and walk without tilting. That's what is keeping me from the things that would make me happy.
I'm trying, and recently thanks to my friends, a little escapism. and a rather pleasant campaign of PTU. I think I am ready to be happy again. Maybe...
Thank you all for understanding. I love writing for you and I hope that I can bring you more in the near future.
I hope you are feeling better and that life is treating you well.
I am sorry for the way you feel, about your vertigo and feeling like a burden. It's tough to struggle with depression and try to do the things that you love to do. It's a... unique sort of pain. But I didn't want to come talk about all of that.
I want you to know that you can do this. You can achieve this, you can do it. Not just writing, but anything you want to be, do, or see. Share your feelings with your family, look for opertunities to engage in work around your home or in a job that allows you to sit.
You can do this.