Need an editor for my EVNW 2015 contest entry.

I have just put the finishing touches on my entry for the 2015 Everfree NorthWest pre-con contest entry. I need someone or something to look it over and proofread the ever-loving crap out of it. I want them to look over this thing with a microscope. If there's an extra space between two words, I want them to tell me. If there's a plothole, I want them to point it out.

If you're interested, here's a link to the Google docs document thing:

Link

Thank you!