2/?

This is the part where I make an intelligent speech with a definitive argument and manly actions and attitudes about how I hate Valentine's day because it once again reminds me of how lonely I am. Tell me to man up in the comments, and I'll ask you how one with crippling depression and constantly battling suicidal thoughts can just magically get over his feelings and suddenly become as confident and sensible as you are.

Last time I had someone have a crush on me was in the 6th grade- (a girl asked me out by messenger & note) back then I was ignorant and suspicious enough to think that it was a ruse by some bullies to humiliate me into thinking that someone liked me- then have her throw me down and stomp my heat on the curb in front of everyone. It seemed too good to be true, and, sensitive as I was, never even saw her look at me, much less do anything in the manner of speaking nor flirting (I try to think that I'm more sensitive to social cues than guys are stereotyped to be.)
I think the only other time I friendzoned someone to spite the world. That was in 8th grade. I cannot comprehend my own stupidity in that regard.

I hate the double standards in the Western world's dating scene beyond description. I gave up asking out girls after getting "let down easy" three times AKA lied to me about a previous engagement and went with someone else. That hurts so much more than telling me she's not interested. What's she expect me to do? question her personal choice or try to guilt trip her? She needs a previous engagement as a stronger reason than not liking me or already having her eyes on someone else?! I'm not asking any girls out the rest of high-school. Iwould consider dating if a girl asked me out, but lolaintgonnahappen. I only brought that up because if a woman asks a guy out, it's supposed to mean that she's desperate. That implying that all men are desperate?

I hate this world so much. Reading fics with Romance makes me start crying- and I despise myself for it.