Bedlam's verbose friend format · 7:07am Jul 3rd, 2012
Autumn, 2012 in the Year of Our Mistresses Celestia and Luna.
Shores of the Cristal Rain, Southern Equestria.
Salutations!
While my real name shall remain unknown for cybernautical security of my person and my acquaintances, you, my good lady or gentleman can refer to me as Small, Flat, Flour Based, Processed Baked Biscuit of Uproar, Chaos, Anarchy, Insanity and Confusion. Or to agilize the conversation between host and guests, a more simple form of said name can be used: "Baked Biscuit of Uproar and Confusion".
I am currently writting the present document, to inform any interested individual, that my person is searching for a non-romantical, non-hostile, match-based relationship of bonding with two or more individuals.
The reason of why initiate this operation of bonding is to master the abilitie of control in the use of supernatural powers, and to experiment the joys that these match-based non-romantical relationships can produce, based in evidence provided by the dynamical form of two-dimensional illustrated visual art that responds by the name of "Diminutive and Youthful Equines of Mine Posession, the Bonding of Beings is Proportional to the Use of Supernatural Powers."
In order to succesfully execute this operation, one must provide the traits and interests that one might have in common with the host or guest. As the self-appointed host of this, our current gathering, I shall begin to expose my interests in the form of a list.
My person particulary finds enjoyment and recreation in performing activities such as:
First unit of counting or measurement.- The ludic use of an electronic game that involves human interaction with a user interface to generate visual feedback on a video device.
Second unit of counting or measurement.- The use of software and hardware designed to explore and metaphorically perform sailing activities in global system of interconnected computer networks that consists of millions of private, public, academic, business, and government networks, of local to global scope, that are linked by a broad array of electronic, wireless and optical networking technologies.
Third unit of counting or measurement.- The use of the central auditory system to recieve information regarding of art form whose medium is the pulsating use sound and silence, producing some sort of sonic harmony. Said form of auditive art my person finds enjoyment and happyness, whilst not universal, varies from a great range of categories.
An example shall be displayed: This aforementioned range can travel from art music produced in, or rooted in, the traditions of Western liturgical and secular music, encompassing a broad period from roughly the 11th century to present times. And a musical style that originated at the beginning of the 20th century in black communities in the Southern United States.
Waging from a genre of agressive auditive art that developed in the late 1960s and early 1970s, largely in the Midlands of the United Kingdom and in the United States. To music that employs electronic musical instruments and electronic music technology in its production.
However, it should be noted that these categories do not restraint all the other not mentioned categories that myself enjoys.
If your person or acquaintances are interested in this, proposal, it is reccomended by the author and host of this, our gathering, to write a response in the utmost haste.
With no other issue at hand, I wish you luck and Celestia's blessing.
Yours, Small, Flat, Flour Based, Processed Baked Biscuit of Uproar, Chaos, Anarchy, Insanity and Confusion. 
(there, i finished, after so many days of procrastination, but this kind of language usage should help me improve my crappy english. Please if there is any mistake, please point it out. btw the letter is for real... 
)
Currently working in the getto version, im going to need help with this one.
Are you trying to kill me?!
I swear I choked 5 fucking times! Holy luna, my throat hurts!
Ok, so let me see if I got this right:
You're looking for friends?
Also: a ghetto version? From some one who 1). Wrote this, which is a style lost to the sea of time.
And 2). From what I can tell, doesn't speak, write, or type english very well.
My brain is ready, and I have my bottle of mind bleach on hand.
Go for it.
209373Thanx mate, im really trying to improve my english by using this, an obsolete method of communication used un archaic past days of old.
And yeah im searchin for some brony friends. I really need to get involved into the community. Plus, friends are always a great way to double the fun.
209397 friends do make life more fun.
While it may be old and outdated, this style is, in my opion, quite interesting. And very hard to write. How many times did you have to rewrite this to get it to sound right?