Emetica, or, the Reasons For my Spate of Absences · 10:34pm Jun 28th, 2012
Greetings, true believers!
...
Ion't wanna say that any more.
So a few of you might have noticed that I don't update with anything approaching frequency. This is mostly because I am mentally ill. It's something I'm trying to do something about but things aren't going well for it at present and, well, vomiting a lot tends to weaken one's resolve. I've been trying to work on The Lament for far, far too long... and it feels like I'm getting nowhere with it. None of the original plans worked out at anything like the quality you deserve, and doubtless some wag will now point out that quality's hardly ever been a pressing concern of mine, but I have something of a handle on the new plan. So it might be coming soon.
This rather depends on whether or not I am still able to post ponies.
There is talk of my being sectioned.
I do not want this.
It scares me.
A lot.
I'm not sure how to respond to this, but my thoughts are with you.
I am saddened that your illness is affecting you so much. I thank you for what you have already done and you will be in my thoughts and prayers.
202859
It is indeed extremely serious. It comes from Section 3 of the Mental Health Act, theone that deals with treatment orders - basically, you get banged up in an institution for six months, and then you can be banged up again and again until you're all better. Which is bad.
As for you not knowing, I'm able to hide it from people a lot better on pony sites and in pony groups because, well... ponies made me feel good. When you suffer from clinical depression, anhedonia, paranoia, agoraphobia, GID, and DID, you take any chance you get to be happy. Or at least I do. Self-esteem is a dirty word, self-confidence a thing possessed by arseholes who live in gyms and dye themselves bright orange and address each other as 'bro' all the damn time. I have failed at everything I hold dear. Even the ponies.
And I'm sorry for doing so.
I just hurt all the time.
203505
I understand your position, but this isn't something that's likely to go away for a very long time.
I, on the other hand, might.
Crap, crap, crap...I feel like I got to this too late though apparently you were last seen online 3 days and 16 hours ago. I'm really sorry to hear about this Colour Coded Chaos and you shouldn't apologize for the delays in your story caused by your mental health problems.
Also is sectioning in the UK really that bad?
Anyways I can only offer moral support, may be research skills if you're looking to challenge this, and a pre-reader/editor if you need one to help you along with the story.
548510
It is. Thankfully that hasn't happened to me... yet. I'm just drugged up to the eyeballs and feeling like I'm floating through space all the time, not connecting, just existing, blood sluggish in my veins.
Thank you for the offer of pre-readerliness... I think I'll take you up on it. I'll drop a link to the current chapter's GoogleDoc via PM and see your take on it. It's gonna be a long one. People deserve one after such a long absence (or maybe they don't, what with a big pile of sewage being less palatable than a small one...), and I've only done about half the first scene thanks to my Great Psychological Adventure, but hopefully a new perspective can help me get shit done. I like writing it. It helps. I just haven't been able to do it for a while because of what antidepressants do to me. Which sucks for everyone (except the readership, but that's up to them).
1258318
Unless you're a trained psychiatric health professional, I'm going to completely ignore you. If you are, I'll consider you an insult to the profession you practice and then completely ignore you.
1260110 Fair enough.
Edit: Just because you disagree with me does not mean you have to pettily insult me. But whatever floats your boat.
1260133
Oh, I'm sorry, did I hurt your feelings? Diddums. Maybe next time you won't try and talk shit about things you have no understanding of and spread misinformation that damages people's chances of recovery.
Medical science is not some shadowy conspiracy designed to make everyone into the slaves of the lizard people. Relentless rounds of peer-reviewed research into neurochemistry followed by multi-stage clinical trials involving thousands of people is what I trust, and I do so a bit more than some numpty on the internet with a fruit basket and jogger's nipple. Besides, do you even know what clinical depression DOES to people? You become static, almost lifeless but not quite and hoping against hope that you go the whole way, but you can't bring yourself to do it. You can't bring yourself to do anything. You sit and stare, then lie back and stare, and then you sleep, because there's nothing else you think yourself capable of doing. You rot from the soul outwards and there's nothing you can do to stop it. The medicine I take allows me to feel and allows me to move. The fact that I'm angry at you - and I am, I'm furious that you would spread such bullshit around to someone you don't know - proves that I am capable of emoting, which, when I had not been prescribed antidepressants, I WAS NOT ABLE TO DO.
Tl;dr: the drugs work, fucker, and you're scum for saying otherwise.
1267048 I shadowed a doctor for the Horizons In Medicine program at Wright State University and the doctor I shadowed had 25 years experience, this was in a poor area and he seemed to have a passion for his job. He would spend extra time with each the patients which he was not required to do and cared for the patients with love. Because of this he made less money. There was always a line of people waiting for him because he was that great of a doctor. He told me stories where he would go to hospitals and check to find elderly people on too many drugs that had to be slowly detoxified of the drugs they were on. Once he did this in some cases the patient would wake up a few days later and be much more active as if he/she was in a coma.
I am sorry that I made you angry. No wait, I'm not. You let text on a screen make you angry.
1267108
This'd be the Wright State University with a 4-year graduation rate of 18%, would it? You'll have to forgive a certain reluctance to accept as gospel the words of someone from an establishment of that... singular calibre. While I agree that overdiagnosis is a thorny issue and that there are always going to be differing views on it, again, I would rather rely on peer-reviewed medical knowledge than an apple a day, especially since I do that already.
Of course, it wouldn't work on you, since applying the term "doctor" to someone fresh out of your school is perhaps stretching things a bit. Call it snobbery if you wish, but I'll stick to what my ACTUAL doctor tells me is good for me, ta. What with it, you know, working.