Z Reviews: Double Feature Part 1: When They Found Us

This time's review will be of When They Found Us, authored by Zephyrus Scary, reviewed by me, TheifofZ. If you like this review, check my blog for other reviews, or follow this link to go to the post containing the mission statement and a list of all the stories I've reviewed so far.
As always, here's how I'll be doing this; First I'll cover the story idea, and writing style and quality of the story. Next, I'll look at the actual story itself, including character motivation, action (if the story has any), and the general plot. Finally, I'll throw down my egotistical and opinionated rating, declaring exactly how good, or bad, I thought this was. And yes, I will do my best to avoid spoilers for the plot IF POSSIBLE. If the spoiled events are integral to the story, I'll throw down spoiler warnings instead, and ask that you proceed with caution. Always remember, folks. This is all opinion. Disagree with me? Think I'm dead wrong, or spot on? Argue about it in the comments if you want. It's cool. Noone has a truly humble opinion, after all, but make sure you read the review first. With that out of the way, here we go!

Guys. I like One Shots, really I do. They're a brief dip into something noone normally sees, be it just a slice of life that was never explored, some silly or dramatic alternate reality, or something else entirely. (Hehe, shipping one shots.) When They Found Us is a short One Shot with a follow up chapter, and it does the job amazingly well. The core concept explores a different take on changeling's Hive Minds, as well as the always classic "Main character is Changeling!", and really, that's not a spoiler; It's fairly obvious early on. The spoiler stuff comes up later. Don't worry, you'll see it. The writing is handled really well, and while some of the grammar is absolutely horrendous, that's to be expected when you have to deal with first person multiple-singular terms. Us as a singular, I as a plural. Ick. It's nearly as terrible as the language abuse caused by time travel. ("Going to will have been done" Is not a phrase that should make sense. Dang stable time loops.) The English language just wasn't designed for Timey Wimey insanity, nor Hive Minds. I have to say, though, that the author handled the singular-plural identity of the Hive Mind really well, and had clearly spent time working out how such thing would work.

The story itself follows Pinkie Pie, the identity of a Mind (a group of changelings that all share the same overall mind, while still having personal identities [sort of]) of changelings that find out that Princess Celestia has, due to widespread panic and paranoia after the changeling invasion of Canterlot, decided to sweep Equestria, town by town, for changelings. The emotional bonds of not just the six friends, but also the Mind of changelings, are explored and elaborated on, and also tested. The ending felt... well, it felt convenient, really. Don't get me wrong, I like a Fairy Tale ending as much as the next fellow, but I've never liked them when they aren't earned, and the sudden acceptance and desire for co-existence that springs up at the end smacks of magic fairy dust to me. Celestia spends most of the early story doing her level best to brutally end a group of changelings, and was apparently all set to see them exterminated for good, but suddenly wants to see them peaceably integrated? Ehhhnn... Now, aside from Celestia being overagressive and harsh through out the entire fic, especially when she aggravates a manticore so that it would eat one of the changelings, most of the characters are really, well, themselves. All the Pinkie Pies act much as normal, and the others feel fairly consistently like the Mane Six. (... Mane, what, 13, counting every single Pinkie Pie? HAH)
What action there is, is descriptive and smooth, and resolves fairly well, but the story really isn't for the faint of stomach, as the gore tag could have, and should have, been added to it as well.

Spoilers: Look, one of the changelings spends several paragraphs discussing the exact sensations that occured when it was poisoned, and then partially eaten, by the manticore. It's not pleasant, and the description is fairly detailed. So... yeah. Gore tag.

Overall... I give this story 8 out of 10 moustaches, and 4 out of 5 gods in the machine. (Bonus points if you get that)

Any opinions or major points you'd like to make go in the comments below. Advice, Major Corrections, story suggestions, and fan mail can be PM'd to me. ... if I ever get fans. HAH!

Final Note: Magic happy endings ruin so very many awesome stories. Yes, everything resolving neatly is a good way to end the story, but no woman will randomly marry a guy just because he was kissing her when she woke up. (Statistically, it's highly unlikely. Someone out there probably would, though.) I'd have liked this a lot more if Celestia hadn't spent only a couple hours going from "Kill changelings on sight" to "Happy forgiveness integration times for all!". ... and that's really the only issue I had. ... No, I'm not getting into the Changeling sexuality that was discussed in the story either. You guys are weird.