Crayons · 4:10am Nov 29th, 2014
I cuss a lot in this one, you have been warned. Oh, and there is a lot of random. Like, I made this blog out of pure want to, just so I could compare the crappiness of crayon brands.
They suck. They realllllly suck. Or maybe it is simply the ones I am using? Because I found an old box of 24 crayons, and they are officemax schoolio von hoolio crap. Seriously, I read that from the box.
Schoolio von Hoolio. Office Max.
Well, in this box of shitty little crayons, I found a neat looking brown crayon. A Crayola crayon. Unlike the others which are purebred Schoolio Von Who-gives-a-fucks, it didn't smear, break apart, or do anything nearly as annoying. It was in amazing condition too, unlike all the others, save for the purple crayon from Schoolio. The purple one was actually unused all together, unlike the brown one which was slightly used.
And yet the purple one was the one that fucked up big time, unlike the brown one, which crumbled a bit, but was otherwise ok.
Once upon a time, there was a 1st grade girl. She adored coloring with crayons, unlike the other kids who simply preferred markers. The little girl could not understand why. Markers bled through the pages and teachers got all nitpicky about it, so it sucked all the fun out of using them. Besides, crayons didn't dry out if you left the caps off. Nor did the bleed around the area, and therefore go outside the lines. They were also better than colored pencils in the sense that, at the time, there were WAAAAAAAY more crayon colors than marker OR colored pencil colors. Well, at least at hand. Plus, crayons still lasted longer than colored pencils.
So alone the little girl used crayons until she entered the third grade where she had to stop using her beloved crayons.
Many years later, said girl finds a 24 box of Schoolio von Hoolio crayons, and remembered using them fondly. She still didn't understand why they were so hated because she hadn't used them in like, a fricken decade. So eagerly she used them and to her complete disappointment, she found out...
Crayons suck rainbow-colored balls.
In another story, she found a 48 pack of crayons from CRAYOLA, and she found out that even the the box was in shitter condition than an overly used toy that had lasted 12 years, the crayons inside still worked fine. So she used them and came to the conclusion.
Crayons should never be used in artistic work unless you have VERY precise plans for them or have stopped giving fucks. Or you like their oily qualities.
THE END.
P.S. This was brought up because I used the Schoolio brand on my cover for 'Not Alone.' and nearly fucked the cover up, but I managed to salvage it with my trust colored pencils.
