A little bit earlier, I wrote a troll-ish oneshot about Knighty. I will not publish this as a fiction, but rather, I wish to turn this into a brony stand-up routine. · 5:05pm Nov 17th, 2014
I don't know if any of you are writers on FimFiction, but if you are, I'm sure you have had the displeasure of interacting with Knighty.
Which, if you're reading this, chances are high that you are.
For those that don't know, this guy tweeted towards FimFiction users calling them all "autistic sperglords" and told them to go kill themselves.
Now, I may be a sperglord, but I was not offended by this. Oh, no. I saw that and said, "Perfect! Something ELSE in the community I can make fun of."
Most of my fellow aspies, however, received this tweet as if Knighty had taken a dump in their oatmeal.
Little does anyone know, this actually happened. One morning, as I arose from a delightfully pony-filled slumber, I began to debate over what meal I should begin my day with.
Which kind of deliciousness should traverse to my mouth, through the gums, and out the innards?
Should I have cold cereal and milk? Should I cook an egg, with a side of bacon and toast? No, it was a cold morning, and I needed something warm and fast, as I had school to attend.
I said verily unto myself, "Why, I should make some meal of the oat! 'Tis quick, full of warmth and convenience!"
So, I crafted this delightful meal, in a nice big bowl. I set my place at my table, setting a single spoon on top of a paper napkin.
I left the bowl unattended, and while it was cooling, I decided to slice an apple. Oh, what a morning this would be! A balanced breakfast of grain, fruit, and milk!
So, I carefully cut and sliced the reddish fruit of tempting appeal, and when finished, I turned around...
A brony was squatting over my bowl. Don't ask me how I knew that he was. Perhaps it was those Rainbow Dash boxers? You know, the ones that turn her into an alicorn?
But, it seemed that, as I was minding my own business, he had been doing his! I dropped my fruit, mortified by this sight. Apple slices went everywhere, signaling the Apocalypse for any microscopic beings on my kitchen floor.
Our eyes locked, and he stared into my soul... And my soul, shivered and cowered in the corner with fear! This was no ordinary brony! By such a devilish and hateful act, I knew this had to be none other than the fabled Knighty!
I lifted my finger to speak, wanting to ask if he by any chance read my fanfic, when he suddenly reached down, grabbed my napkin and wiped himself.
After which, he jumped out the nearby window that he apparently had opened, running off into the morning screaming obscenities and cursing autism.
I stood there, stunned. After awhile, I regained my composure and slowly approached the defiled bowl... And realized he stole my spoon.
The nerve! I couldn't believe this travesty, as that spoon belonged to my great-great-great-grandfather's cousin's nephew's son!
My jimmies were thoroughly rustled.
Pure gold.
2600762 Ahh, thank you! xD I'm thinking about recording myself while reading this aloud and putting it up on YouTube. I'd like to get involved with the youtube area of the community.
Is it bad to crave horsefame?