Ficta's extremely serious review of The Evil Within

Pros:

- When you shoot enemies in the head, parts of their head explode and they'll be wandering around with half a head.
- The main character loses stamina really quickly, which is good because it makes me feel better about myself and my level of physical fitness.
- The save point areas have really nice, relaxing music.
- You can fall into a vat of blood and your clothes will clean themselves. Fak you, Persil!
- The enemies make the same noises as the average brony does when looking at rule 34 pictures of Button's Mum.
- Once you beat the game you unlock model viewer and you can look at all the character models up close, meaning you can properly perv at Juli Kidman's hot body.

Cons:

- The game is TOO EASY. I finished it on 'Survival' difficulty and still had loads of ammo and health packs. 'Nightmare' and 'Akumu' should've been the only available difficulty modes.
- The main bad guy is a total knob.
- You cannot remove the clothes of the characters while in model viewer and make them say dirty words. Could've been a 10/10...

Final verdict: 1/10 - Should've been longer and harder, just the way I like it.

Comments

[User Gone]

- The enemies make the same noises as the average brony does when looking at rule 34 pictures of Button's Mum.

"Average brony" being you.

The game is TOO EASY

No, you're too HARD!!

You cannot remove the clothes of the characters while in model viewer and make them say dirty words.

You need to use the Konami code.

Void's final review.
I have never played this game. So, I give it a 2 / 10 because numbers.

[Ficta_Scriptor]

2550949

"Average brony" being you.

Shhhhhh!

Anyway, I just beat the game last night and I think it's awesome. I'd give it an 8.5. The gameplay is a lot like Resident Evil 4, albeit with a bigger emphasis on stealth. It's also pretty long, too. It took me just over 18 hours on the standard difficulty setting called 'Survival.' Which brings me to a minor irritation with the game... I wish 'Nightmare' difficulty had been available from the start. The game has a few difficulty spikes but towards the end it becomes rather easy, to the point where I was acing boss encounters and had more ammo and med kits than I knew what to do with. But never mind. It's still brilliant. I might even replay it on 'Nightmare' at a later date. (There's also a difficulty setting called 'Akumu', but even I'm scared by that one. )

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