Spoiler Alert: Batman Assault on Arkham, Part 2 · 11:51pm Sep 6th, 2014
: Alright, she's out of the room. Now what's the big....what the buck?!
King Shark has killed several women, hung their naked bodies from the ceilings, and is bathing in their blood?! And THIS is one of our main characters!? What the buck!?!
: No kidding! He also seems to have no private area.
: Twilight!!
: What? Scientifically speaking, that is very anomalous. We also get to meet our next member, Black Spider, a violent vigilante who acts against drug dealers. He's a really interesting character, but both his costume and his role in the film are so nondescript you probably won't remember him.
: We also meet Captain Boomerang, a Flash villain who happens to be the only character with nothing worthy of complaint. He's arguably the least despicable member, he has a fun personality....heck, he even got rid of that dorky hat! He's perfect!: On the other hand, we have KGBeast, an ex-operative for the Soviets who became a hit-man. He's not terribly important because....well, you'll see.
Oh, and here's Harley Quinn, the Joker's girlfriend. She's watching Looney Tunes on her smart phone. Maybe now we'll get something more light-hearted....
....Holy @#$%!: A woman confiscated her phone, and Harley bit her ear off! That's horrible!
: Yeah, but usually in a light-hearted way. Poking someone in the eyes, hitting them overhead with a mallet, maybe kicking them in the groin. She can be violent, but with a slapstick feel to both make her special and to show how she sees the world. She's so removed from reality that she thinks in cartoon terms, not realizing how her actions hurt others. This use of blood and stuff is out of character and a cheap attempt at shocking the audience. I just can't see the original Harley Quinn, who Bruce Timm and Paul Dini had fantasize about starting a family, doing something like this!
: Weeeell, at least her outfit's cute. We then meet our final member, Deadshot himself, whose new featureless, black and brown uniform is a brilliant symbol of just how boring this version of the character is. His code of honor, brother issues, death wish, or anything else that makes him psychologically interesting are completely gone here, and he could easily have been substituted in this film by any other mindless action hero. His only unique aspect in this film is his desire to escape custody to reunite with his daughter, which is a) a cliche and b)receives far too little screen time for it to have any emotional impact on the audience.
Oh, and he gets taken down by an old man with a syringe in this montage.
: Amanda Waller then rounds them up and informs these convicts of their mission and of the GPS Tracker/Explosive that has been inserted in their necks to force them to cooperate. KGBeast doesn't believe she'd be so stupid as to coordinate the operation and then kill them, so Waller proves him wrong. That's right, we just lost a cool Batman villain just to show that Waller apparently never learned how to persuade someone without killing them. What the heck?: We also find out that, yes, infiltrating Arkham Asylum is considered a suicide mission. I've got no idea why, though, since its defenses are as weak as decaffeinated coffee! We also find out that Harley Quinn and Joker are on the outs.
They enter Gotham and rendezvous with the Penguin at his Lounge, since he has the resources to help them get into Arkham. Wait, what's that he's eating?
: Yeah, I know he's the Penguin, but he's still a human. How is he planning on eating a pile of fish a good foot or two tall?
Also, why do they even need his help? Are you seriously telling me that one of the most powerful covert government departments in the DC Universe can't sneak their operatives inside a mental hospital? Which people like Killer Moth escape on a regular basis? What the heck?!
Urrr, we also see Harley seduce Deadshot. Usually, I'm not a huge fan of sex scenes in movies, but....
: ....but hearing a bunch of rolling and crashing around a room and then hearing Harley yell "Yahtzee" is pretty hilarious!: Harley stages a robbery so she can get arrested and taken to Arkham. Batman arrives, and....horsefeathers! She's kicking Batman's flank!! What happened to this chick?!
: Batman eventually subdues her an' starts interrogatin' her 'bout a dirty bomb Joker's hidden. Um, Waller, is't really a good idea ta have an ex-accomplice of an urban terrorist on yer team when said terrorist is plannin' ta cause a major disaster? In the same city no less? This ain't gonna look good on yer reports.
We also find out that the Squad has a remarkably hard time gettin' inta Arkham. Sweet Celestia, ah don't e'en READ comic books, an' AH know that e'en the lamest 'a villains can break outta the joint on a whim. What's wrong wit' these guys?!
Meanwhile, on Dexter...
And Deadshot had a daughter here? When?
And yeah, Captain Boomerang didn't bug me like everyone else did.
2433799 Admittedly, if hearsay is any indication, Dexter did a better job of making its main character likable.
Exactly! I don't mind keeping character points subtle, but when your main character's only personal detail is that he had a daughter that he's fond of, you're really not doing your basic job as a storyteller.
Ironically, Captain Boomerang is arguably the least personable of the bunch. He's immature, arrogant, and a bit cowardly. But he's also a professional who doesn't kill people for no reason and is ultimately in the business to make a score. He's not someone I'd call a friend, but he doesn't go out of his way to be despicable the way the others do.
2434079 and he didn't bite someone's ear off
(That's my go-to reaction now)
2434152 That scene does set a pretty strong precedent for determining a person's moral standards, doesn't it?
If MLP had a Suicide Squad who do you think would be on it?
2446057 Probably Trixie, Gilda, Ahuizotl, and/or Sunset Shimmer. Maybe Dr. Caballeron. Mane-iac if she existed in the same universe as everyone else.
2446132 Trixie yes she could be either the leader or the Captain Boomerang of the team and a random Changeling soldier could work and in the comics some of the teams had good guys so with that say I think Zecroa could work.
2446206 That is true. She could be Bronze Tiger; she has the stripes for it.
2446254 I think this would make a good story what do you think?
2446258 Yeah, I would think so.
2446297 I would like to write it with someone's help would you like to help write it? If so if it's okay I would like Phantom Fan to help too but I'll ask him after you give me your answer.
2446319 I don't really have the time to do that much writing myself. I can always help with proofreading or brainstorming, though.
2446337 I'm okay with that. But if I can ask when do you have time to write these blogs?
2446345 Weekends, mostly. And even then, I don't do them on a regular basis. Only if I don't have something more important to work on.
2446348 I understand you must have a busy home life right?
2446356 College, to be precise. And I barely have the time-management skills to get my homework done, so I tend to keep my other obligations fairly light.