BIG Update About "A Cherished Storm." · 8:26pm Jun 6th, 2012
A little while ago, I had submitted "A Cherished Storm" to Equestria Daily in an attempt to have it posted for more readers to see.I had been through quite a journey to get it done, including a month or more of trying to have someone draw the cover art for the story, before finally deciding to handle it myself. I submitted once and it never reached them. A few weeks later, I submitted again after fixing minor grammar mistakes in multiple chapters. At long last I've finally received the email from Equestria Daily regarding my story... It wasn't what I was hoping.
There were three major mistakes in the story, starting in Chapter one alone:
1. Show vs. tell. Example: "Dash did this, Fluttershy did this, AJ did that"
2. Being overly descriptive of very minor things.
3. The story reads very dryly.
The third issue, I assume, is caused by the first two issues... So fixing the first two would hopefully make the story more exciting for the readers. These issues, they said, are systemic, which means that, most likely, the problem is spread across every chapter. And sadly, I fear the problems are so great that the only way to effectively solve the problems is to completely rewrite the story without these issues.
So, starting very soon, I'll begin rewriting the story and replacing the existing chapters with them. I wish I didn't have to do this, but I want this story to be all that it can possibly be. Don't worry, though. If you've read the chapters, and you don't want to go back and reread everything, that's fine. I don't plan on changing the story. There may be variations in the dialogue... But the plot will remain the same.
I know I can better this story... with help. So I ask: If there is anyone out there that is a skilled proof reader, and knows how to spot these issues, I would be extremely appreciative if you'd be willing to lend me a hoof while the story goes through this change.
I'd like to thank Noble Cause of the EqD pre-readers for taking the time to suggest ways to improve my story. I am an aspiring author and wish to better myself as a writer in whatever ways I can. I have read the entire Editor's Omnibus and will reference it frequently as I go through the rewriting process.
One Final Note: I know that this process will take weeks to fix, if not a month or more... But don't worry! I haven't forgotten that I've left everyone at a pretty big cliff hanger with Chapter eight. So my first priority is to get chapter nine out. It's half written as of now, but I'll have to rewrite it to fix it, as it suffers the same problems as the rest of the story. Once I've done that, I will have a more experienced proof reader take a look at it and fix whatever issues there are, before finally releasing. I am extremely sorry for the delay of this chapter!
That's about it! Thanks to all my readers and those who follow the story. This is a bumpy road right now for it, but it'll come through and be a much better story as a result. I promise!
- Caisius