Random Fanfic reviews #2: That Faint Memory by NeonShadow

For my 2nd review, I take a look at a story about AppleJack's parents, and their inevitable demise. The only question is, is the story good enough to recommend? Here's my review:
Ok, first off: the story itself is pretty good, for the most part. The death scene, while a bit visual (although whether it's too visual or not visual enough is up for interpretation), is believable, and the characters all seem to be in character. However, there is one major flaw with the way the story is told: this story has a serious problem with forgetting some things that it itself brought up as the story went on. If you want an example, there's Rainbow's wing. In the story, Rainbow ends up hurting her wing while she's rushing to save AppleJack. The pain is described, and I quote, "Rainbow Dash kept flying as fast as she could even though her wing was on fire and threatened to stop working." Yeah... I don't buy it, considering that in the later scenes, she's always flying around without any sort of problem. Another example of this dropped plot pointing is linked to AJ's head scar. Apparently, her gash just went away after she regained consciousness, considering it's never brought up again. I'm no doctor, but I'm pretty sure that isn't how the body works. She'd still be bleeding even after regaining consciousness, and without leaves being constantly being applied to the gash, she'd probably end up passing out again at some point due to blood loss, especially considering how young she is in this story. Even so, I could forgive these plot holes if it weren't for the fact that there are spelling and grammer errors all over the place! The story itself would be more than enough to keep you entertained on it's own if it were either a readout or animated episode. Unfortunatly, in a written story, it's important that you also get your spelling/grammar down pretty well. If you don't, it distracts the audience from the story, since it's a little hard to get invested when you're seeing a spelling/grammer error every few words. While That Faint Memory doesn't have the worst grammar I've ever seen, it still has enough errors to qualify as a 'fix this' English assignment. I would highly recommend that Neon fix these errors before moving on.(and I wasn't even looking for errors! )
Current verdict: 5.5/10 (flawed): Ok, let me get one thing out of the way: That Faint Memory isn't a bad story. It is, however, an ungraceful story. While the idea is interesting, the execution left several plot holes and several hundred grammatical errors throughout. If Neon fixes these problems in the finished product, then the score for this one could easily rise up to around an 8/10. Until then, this is the highest I was able to give it. (Will update if necessary.) Cheers