And what is "win"?

Yeah, I'm on a roll and I don't have the good sense to stop while I'm ahead.

So anyway, it's been recently brought up to me that one possible way to interpret me choosing to respond to things in other places in my own space (this blog) could been mistaken as a childish impulse to take an argument to a place where I have full control so I can drive people off and declare myself the winner. It's not an unfair interpretation because almost no one who'd read this blog has any real acquaintance with me beyond some of my comments in other places and the fiction I write, so my motives can only be guessed at, not known for certain. I'll just say up front that the purpose of me doing so has nothing to do with my own ego (which certainly exists) and drive to win any fight I start (which, again, exists), but I think there's another misapprehension buried in the assumption: that the only way to win an argument is to out-stubborn the other person. I view "winning" in a broader sense than just this, and would argue that you sometimes win when you lose.

So here's how I see it. I think that there's five fundamental ways that an argument ends:
1. One person gets so frustrated with the other that they take their ball and go home. This is what most people think of as winning an internet argument and it technically is since one usually regards the last one standing as the winner in a fight. It's sort of a hollow victory, however, since no one gains anything from it except ego-stroking and dislike.
2. One person descends into ad hominem and stays there. Pretty much, when you're arguing and you stop trying to argue and just swear at them, you're broadcasting that you have nothing to say and that the other person has won. Additionally, the person who remains polite looks pretty damn good for "being the better man".
3. A higher authority steps in to break up the fight and send the fighters to their rooms without supper. This is pretty much lose-lose because no one gained anything and both people were acting so badly that they'd crossed some pretty thick black lines. It can even be lose-lose-lose if the higher authority is blatantly biased and is stepping in to slap down the person they personally disagree with, instead of acting as a proper neutral party.
4. The "agree to disagree" ending. This is one of the two "everyone wins" scenarios because when you get to this point, everyone has acted properly, neither wishes to concede, but both are big enough to part ways amicably. Additionally, when both parties are highly able and have been making excellent arguments throughout, the observers win too because everyone benefits from reading better reasoning and better facts.
5. One person concedes the argument because the other person presented better arguments. This is the other "everyone wins"; the winner wins in an obvious way, the observers win by exposure to superior facts and superior reasoning, but the loser wins the privilege of sharpening their mind against a better one.
Speaking personally, the fifth possibility has been a wonderful experience for me when it's happened. I lost an argument about science and subsequently got to pick the brain of someone whose understanding of the subject was vastly greater than mine and who taught me things about scientific concepts (such as the "null hypothesis") of which I would never have been otherwise aware. I lost an argument over a particular story once and won a really great friend who's been a real blast to know and converse with ever since.

So do I bring things to this blog so I can drive the other person off and declare myself the winner? No. I bring it here so that the fight can happen in a space where there's no possibility that anyone but one of the site's higher authorities can use the "shut the fuck up" button to silence one of the people having the argument. I never want to see the third possibility occur in an argument in which I'm a participant, so I bring it here where I'm the only one (besides site staff naturally) who CAN interfere... and thus ensure that no interference can take place.