Hai, guys

Long time, no anything, am I right?

So, here's what's been going on in my life-

But we don't want to hear about your life! We just want stories!

Shut up and listen! I'm doing this because
1: I feel like it
2: I'm bored
3: I haven't had any connection to the outside world in forever
4: I feel like you guys deserve something

So here we go...(tl;dr version at bottom)

Ever since my iPad got taken and my phone restricted, I haven't been able to update my stories like usual (AKA, once a month). So, that leaves me in a predicament. This blog will be like those stories: everyone's asleep while I stay up and finish it

Furthermore, after completing 9th grade (pretty boring year if you ask me), I had nothing to do over the summer. So I played Playstation. And soon, that got taken as well. Now onto Sophmore year...

Band camp started while my family decided to go to the beach for the week. So I was left home alone. Absolutely nothing to do except read a book. I think I got the most reading done in just a few days than I ever have. Meanwhile, I got some friends who were freshmen at the time. Naturally, with me being awkward and stuff, they were all girls. Turns out, at least three of them had a crush on me, and they're all best friends, so yeah. Naturally, being naive and too common sense dumb to realize things, I picked the meanest one to date. And she was my first girlfriend by the way. I actually found out later that they all liked me, but one of them told me she (referred to as 1 now) liked me and I should ask her out. I did in the only way I thought possible. Over a text, using the first letters of each sentence to do it.

Only I would do that.

Anyways, she said yes (duh) and I had no clue what to do next. She told me that we could still act like friends, only holding hands and hugging more, so I though it would be great. The only thing we ever really did though was hold hands, hug, kiss cheeks, and go to the movies. End of the first semester rolls by, and then as a miracle, my state gets snow for the first time in probably five years.

Amazing!

NOT!

Since 1 never told me about what she wanted to do, she thought that she didn't feel like she was in a relationship. So, she dumped me. Over a text. Oh, the irony. I was devastated. My first girlfriend, and she dumps me one week before our 5 months together and two weeks before Valentine's. I was depressed for a while, but really just cried a few times, walked around school not talking (Just like freshman year, first semester), hummed the Drunken Whaler a lot, and watched her from a distance.

My mom told me 1 didn't deserve me, and I later found out that was right. The worst part about it is that she never talks to me in person. She has her friends do it for her, or just does it over text.

And I talked with my best friends about it (Female, referred to as A now). She helped me get through it the most, and then she told me some shocking news.

She liked me too. She has ever since the first semester of that year. And I later found out I liked her too. But there was a problem. Her boyfriend. He's not some big jerk who bullies people. Pretty much the opposite. He's a great guy, and one of my friends, but still.

Prom comes around, and one of my other many female friends (S) asks me to it. I say yes (mostly encouraged by my mom and her boyfriend) and it was a great night. A also went with her boyfriend, and it was a great time. Until one of S's friends tells me S likes me. I was stunned, but did nothing about it. I actually don't like her that way, plus she was graduating that year and I didn't really want to be in a long distance relationship. She talked with me about it later that night, and she admitted it, but I still did nothing about it.

Later on in the year, I meet another couple of freshman friends (guess what gender?) and, again, everything's great as it should be. I get both their phone numbers and text like any other normal teen would do. Soon, I find out that one of them (2) likes me as well. But this time, I go for it. But I ask her out in real life, and she says yes. Our first date is exactly the next day, and our second a couple of days later. But you know what?

I got my first kiss on the second one. I felt proud of myself, and thought life was perfect as it should be. I even used my V-card. But then some jackass of a guy come along.

He pretty much gets her to fall in love with him while we're still together. He sent her poems and all that other bullshit. I freaked out for a little while thinking she was going to leave me for him. But she told me she loved me too much to leave me for him, so I just ignored it for a while.

But then the unimaginable for me happened. She put us "on break". She said we need to work out our feelings for each other and when we do, we could get back together. Now, I'm not emotionally strong like some people: I've got to be weak some where, and physical heals, mental health is stupid, and who needs social? So, I just do what I do best: Cry, write stories, cry harder, think, cry some more

My mom intervenes and puts doubts in my mind and tries to get me to break up with her completely, but I persist and don't. After a few days of emotional walls, 2 talks with me some more, although more than I wanted. She kept telling me how "Jackass" got her head over heels for him and then just doesn't like her anymore. She kept telling me she misses him and loves him and sending pictures of their conversations (heart emojis, "I love you bae", yeah). She also told me she's not worth my crying and feeling bad over and that I should just forget her. But how can you forget the person you love? Eventually, I got so mad that out slipped "emotionless bitch" and then she hung up on me. I swear, I've never cried so hard. This was... what, 9 days ago? And that's also when I started intentionally hurting myself.

I'm not proud of it, but I just felt better after doing it.

After heading to Wisconsin, I found the laptop that I'm using right now and got on Facebook to talk with her. Apparently, after my mom took my phone, she's been texting 2. I told her I miss and lover her and all that stuff, and, surprisingly, ahe told me she misses and loves me too. I thought she was still mad at me. Also, her dad called my mom and told her he doesn't want my stuff over there anymore out of respect, but she told me he's lying and knows that I make her happy and he doesn't want her to. I also learned she wears my hoodie that I gave to her everyday. I felt so happy right then that I asked her to take me back

She said not now, that she'll tell me when she wants to pick our relationship back up from where it left. And then she told me, once again, she still loves "Jackass". I got depressed again and she told me that JA won't text her back because his phone isn't on and that she's afraid he's dead.

I honestly hope he is.

She also told me that they're both alike and that they've done more things together than we have

BS, automatically I called it in my head

But then I also told her about hurting myself, and she asked how many times. I told her four, and the next thing I know, she's done it four times herself. I felt terrible and told her to stop, but then she did eight. Then twelve. And finally, sixteen. I felt so terrible, I nearly did it myself, at night, in my grandma's house, while everyone's asleep. And then here we are, me writing this at... 1:20 in the morning when I should've been asleep over two hours ago.

Meanwhile, while all this stuff is happening, my mom is still too stupid about ponies, my electronic stuff has been taken away, I got the highest Physical Science exam grade in my teacher's class cycles, and I finally finished a chapter to WAKOE, and actually started another. Trust me, it's a steamy one!

TL;DR VERSION:

Relationship bullcrap, School bullcrap, family bullcrap, life is bullcrap

So, yeah. What a year! And dang, so much typing. If it wasn't mine and didn't feel important, I would be so tempted just to ruin it all. Anyways...

Goodnight!
*passes out in the bathroom from exhaustion and sleeps until 12 to get in trouble for using laptop*

EDIT: Wow. I didn't expect so many comments, guys!