An Astronomically Astounding Acquisition! · 2:21am May 21st, 2014
Guess what, guys? The primordial gods of pleasure and grace have bestowed a holy gift unto all of mankind. But alas, it's not an everlasting offer. Recently, on one of my poker nights with friends, I discovered that Mountain Dew has released their sacred Baja Blast flavor in cans for a limited time only. When I saw the tropical limey goodness proudly displayed on that Walmart shelf, I collapsed to my knees before the great altar and cried soulful tears of sheer jubilation. My friends and I each bought two to three cases of the delicious libation, and I plan on buying more very soon. Now I don't know how many of you truly grasp the disillusioning importance of this advent, but let me assure you that mankind will never be the same.
So I implore you! Friends, foes, buy the Mountain Dew Baja Blast! Join me in my ascension to flavor heaven! Let the nectar of the universe flow! We would be foolish not to graciously accept this gift! Don't let this rapturous opportunity slip through your fingers! Embrace the Mountain Dew. Mountain Dew is love. Mountain Dew is life.
Congats to finding it! If I find it as well, I shall purchase the store's
ENTIRE FRIGGIN' INVENTORY AND SHIPMENTS TO COME OF BAJA BLAST