You remember a blog post that said that I was working on a new story?

I deleted it.

And brought it back from the grave, and didn't touch it for a few months.

And now? I messed around with the concept a bit, but it pretty close to what it once was.

395 words into the first chapter, and I'm not going to give up then. I'll try to make sure it sees the light of day, alright?

UPDATE: I'm now done with the prologue and the first chapter. They just need polishing now.

Comments

[Blaze Spectrum]

In case anybody actually clicked on the blog post, I have an excerpt of the said 395 words.

Tell me what's wrong with it.

Before the changeling decided to leave his hiding spot, he was viciously spun around onto his back. After he got his bearings, there was a crossbow aimed at his face.

The bolt stuck out of the barrel, razor sharp edge glistening in the daylight, with a touch of iridescence. The said reflective metal was far from perfect for stealth. But that hardly mattered. Its wielder was a Royal Guard sent to hunt down remaining Changelings. Any of Equestria's armed forces had training, but it didn't branch too far into subterfuge. Therefore, the way the Royal Guard hunted hostiles down essentially limited itself to running around, brandishing weapons, and checking corners.

The changeling that he was aiming at seemed very insignificant now. He didn't want to know its name, or how it had skulked for so long. His orders were to capture and banish all threats.

"You are not welcome in this country," he stated softly,"I suggest you will leave, or we will do so, by force."

He didn't need to say that last sentence, and both of them knew that the Royal Guard would kick them out of Equestria with force, and in a last resort, kill any changelings that show too much resistance.

Just as he was about to call more Royal Guards over to help him, a streak of green battle magic flew over, and burned through half of the Royal Guard's neck. A look of surprise barely had time to register on his face as he slumped over, very well dead.

Another changeling trotted out of the foliage that was in the general direction of the shot.

As he came over to help him up, he said in an aggravated tone,"Thorax, you seem to always know the best way to get caught. It's lucky you aren't an infiltrator."

Thorax gave a slight eye roll,"Chitin, it's not like you're much better."

After giving Thorax a menacing glare, he decided to change the subject,"We should get going, you know. We need to rendezvous with Queen Chrysalis. All of our scattered ranks. You're a start. Now be quiet, and follow me. I'm pretty sure there's more of those blasted ponies nearby. Those crossbow bolts penetrate straight through our exoskeletons."

I'm going to probably make a few initial edits, but not much. Anything else you guys have to say?