concerning self-esteem · 7:23am Jan 17th, 2014
I just realized that mine is pretty damned low.
It's not that I dislike myself, and it's not that I'm unfriendly. It's just that I feel I am, and have demonstrated myself to be, too strange, and my interests too idiosyncratic, to really interest anybody, and I've been feeling really damned lonely over the last few weeks. I mean, I'm lame. I stopped paying much attention to pop culture sometime around the year 2000, the newest game I've played is the first "Portal" (I usually just emulate Atari 2600 games), my favorite movie is too embarrassing and personal to me to mention, and my favorite band is a-ha. When I get to know somebody, I'm a lot more interested in them than I think they could possibly be interested in me. You say, hey, how are you? and I say that I'm fine and immediately change the subject so we aren't talking about me. For fuck's sake, I even start counting how often I use the word "I", and every last one of them makes me feel like a selfish prick trying to talk about me when I could be helping somebody with real problems.
Anyway, this is just the result of somebody suggesting I should try dating people, to which my immediate response was, more-or-less, yeah, right, I have no business even trying.
So... yeah. Wah, poor me. Boo hoo.
Soupy twist for now.
You sound rather concerned on how you present yourself. I cant personally say I understand how you feel. But I can understand looking in a sea of faces and not thinking a single soul would even remotely see me romantically interesting.
You're interests might look dated to others,and you yourself might feel undateable. There's always one guy in the back of the room who doesn't fit in with the rest. I loved hanging out with those people the most. They felt more real than anything popular,famous or new. You know what you like, the only time you should be concerned is when you start to question what you are, and if you are changing who you are to "fit in" .
1727020
I don't question who or what I am. It's just that I know being me comes with knowing that I'm going to alienate people.
1730097 uh yea, everyone does. Sometimes you don't share common interests and because of that some become alienated. That's not a woe-is-you-I'm-in-a-small-niche, it's a fact of life. Just like "you can't make everyone your friend"
1731168
You're right, of course. I was just having a bad day at the time and needed to mope
1731677
I should have realized you were merely trying to type out your frustrations, not seeking help.
My apologies.
1731780
It's all good. If I need help, I ask for it. This was just me venting.