Atonement and Reparation

Absence is a terrible, dreadful, thing. Absence of the mind, of life, of the soul. For the longest time, I have been absent from each of those things. My actions guided by the orders fed to me as if by a spoon. I descended into a world of nothing but forced thoughts, numbers, and hysteria the likes of which no one should ever have to suffer. They were all just... bricks in the wall. The wall that I had been involuntarily building for years. I had nearly become trapped in a prison that I myself had built. I suffered loss of inspiration, loss of enthusiasm, loss of motivation to go on with anything.

That is, until I snapped. At least, that's what they would tell you is what happened. That I lost my mind, became a nutter. But no, they were the ones who were insane. They had forced me into a life of pain similar to servitude against my will in every way. They had tried to make me their little puppet, one they could parade throughout the streets as a way to make everyone think they looked better. But no more. No more, I said. I broke free. Just before the final brick had been placed in my wall, my eyes opened to the possibility of freedom. The possibility of truly living for once.

And so, I summoned all my strength, my courage, my sheer power. And I destroyed the wall. I dismantled the establishment of slavery that they had forced upon me, and broke free, my wings spreading like those of a phoenix as it first learns to soar. And that brings me to the present. The here. The now. I'm back. And... And I am alive. I have escaped the horrors of college and a life that was being forced upon me. I am free to write of the things I want to write about.

I am so, so sorry that I left you all when I had promised not to. It was not my choice. It was a choice forced upon me by powers that are now no longer relevant. I'm free to finish the second chapter of A Forbidden Doorway, and write further within it. I have so many ideas for you all. Ideas that had been locked away every time I thought of them. But now, they are free, along with me. And I am free to write for you all once again. Those of you that still want to read... I thank you. You were one of the things that motivated me to become free and spread my wings.

Any questions you may have, simply ask them, I will answer every single one of them. I missed you all. I missed writing. I missed everything.