Cynic's Summaries - Season 3 · 8:20pm Nov 4th, 2013
Back again to skewer the third stunted season of My Little Pony. Don't worry, the worst is yet to come!
The Crystal Empire - The Mane Six depose the the ruler of a neighboring kingdom and establish a messianic cult around Princess Cadence.
Too Many Pinkie Pies - The bankruptcy of Equestrian morality and medical ethics is laid bare when Twilight Sparkle kills dozens of fully developed clones of Pinkie Pie.
One Bad Apple - Three blank-flanks attempt to murder another young pony by sending her over a cliff in a malfunctioning parade float.
Magic Duel - "You must unlearn what you have learned." Twilight's duplicity is again revealed when she disregards everything her teacher and monarch taught her in favor of listening to a reclusive hermit. Twilight uses trickery and lies to win a duel of honor.
Sleepless in Ponyville - A young pony is in complete mental distress and three adults fail to notice. Again.
Wonderbolts Academy - A scandal erupts when it is revealed that Spitfire uses a stamp to sign autographs. Stay classy, Wonderbolts.
Apple Family Reunion - Applejack forces elderly women to cook and work crafts in terrible conditions. She then uses reverse psychology to get a new barn for free.
Spike at Your Service - A broken, emasculated, Spike embraces his submissive side, and attempts to become Applejack's slave. Turns out he's as bad at that as he is at manning up.
Keep Calm and Flutter On - Fluttershy abuses her friendship with an unloved geek to get what she wants.
Just for Sidekicks - Spike fails at something again. The Equestrian rail system allows children to board trains without adult supervision.
Games Ponies Play - The Mane Six learn once again that it's better to be lucky than competent.
Magical Mystery Cure - Twilight Sparkle ascends when she masters the last of the skills needed to become an Alicorn Princess: The ability to utterly destroy and remake the destinies of those under her.
