Cynic's Summaries - Season 2 · 8:16pm Nov 4th, 2013
In which the revulsive batpony returns to take another heartless stab at the friendship of the tragic.
The Return of Harmony - The Magic of Bickering - Three blank-flanks break a thousand year old spell simply by fighting over adjectives. Rainbow Dash's betrayal starts a chain of events that dooms Equestria. All is saved when Celestia's anal-retentive inability to clear out her inbox reminds the Mane Six they are friends.
Lesson Zero - Twilight Sparkle proves she has what it takes to become a true princess of Equestria, she manipulates everyone to get what she wants.
Luna Eclipsed - Pinkie Pie starts a smear campaign that nearly destroys Princess Luna, possibly in retaliation for the government shutdown in Episode 1.
Sisterhooves Social - Sweetie Belle and Rarity fail to realize they are adopted. Applejack teaches the value of surrender.
The Cutie Pox - A child is left alone in a lab full of dangerous magical potions. Twilight Sparkle's failure to read her own books causes a town panic. Pinkie Pie steals from her workplace.
May the Best Pet Win! - With the help of Twilight Sparkle, Rainbow Dash creates Equestria's first cybernetic flying battle turtle.
The Mysterious Mare Do Well - Envious of Rainbow Dash's well-earned popularity, the girls set out to systematically destroy Rainbow Dash's celebrity and self-esteem.
Sweet and Elite - Although they do not know it yet, a group of Canterlot Royals earns a place on future-princess Twilight Sparkle's enemies list.
Secret of My Excess - Twilight Sparkle's abusive relationship with Spike is highlighted when it is revealed that he's never had a proper birthday party. Once again, Rarity is involved in an incident that knocks out the Wonderbolts.
Hearth's Warming Eve - A play demonstrates the dangers of a three-party political system, allegorically symbolizing the Tea Party. Global Climate Change can be fought off with love.
Family Appreciation Day - Apple Bloom abuses her grandmother, lies to her teacher, and is electrocuted by an apple tree.
Baby Cakes - Mr. Cake refuses to realize that he is a cuckold. Equestrian biology is shown to allow one mare to carry two children from two different fathers at the same time.
The Last Roundup - Applejack goes to work for a madame in a remote town. Everyone but the audience wonders why.
The Super Speedy Cider Squeezy 6000 - When two brothers offer the Apple family a deal that would increase their profits, and create more cider for everyone at the same quality level, the Mane Six band together to ruin them. Everyone loses. Seriously. Do the math here.
Read It and Weep - Twilight Sparkle gets Rainbow Dash into the "Daring Do" series of books. Spoiler alert - everyone dies during the infamous "Red Wedding".
Hearts and Hooves Day - Three blank-flanks experiment with mind control drugs and nearly destroy Ponyville.
A Friend in Deed - Pinkie Pie mercilessly stalks, ridicules, and shames a donkey. Her inability to mind her own business pays off in the end, so it's all OK.
Putting Your Hoof Down - Fluttershy takes the advice of her friends, and spends the rest of the episode being disgraced for having done so. By those same friends.
It's About Time - Twilight Sparkle discovers that she lives in a fixed-destiny timeline where past and future are set in stone, nullifying the very concept of free will.
Dragon Quest - Spike realizes that he is an emasculated houseboy, and embarks on a quest to regain his manhood. He fails.
Hurricane Fluttershy - This episode is an allegory reinforcing the myth that a single person's vote counts. It doesn't. Visiting pony and celebrity Spitfire has two chances to help out a struggling team of Pegasi, and elects not to. Stay classy, Wonderbolts.
Ponyville Confidential - Diamond Tiara and her three star reporters take over a newspaper and are wildly successful, outselling a rival paper run by adults. They are soundly punished for giving people exactly what they wanted.
MMMystery on the Friendship Express - Three of the Mane Six are discovered to be liars and compulsive over-eaters.
A Canterlot Wedding - Queen Chrysalis sneaks into Canterlot while simultaneously threatening it. Her threats cause a shield to be raised over the royal city, trapping her inside. Later, snatching defeat from the jaws of victory, she loses by ignoring the power of love, the very energy she feeds on. Twilight's feelings for her brother are made abundantly clear.
