cupcakes (wait, come back!)

Well, I'm bored. So there's only one thing left to do.

Clop-fic fap...er...blog.

On this blog post, I want to talk about the most infamous pony-dreadful tale this fandom has ever known. Some call it badfic. Others joined this fandom because of it. Some claim it to be worthless. Others say it's super-fab. Yes, folks, I'm talking out.....

Equestria girls.

(Bad Buzzer noise.)

Cupcakes.

(Ding)

Don't worry, folks. I'll keep this blog as SFW as I can. No swear words. No gore. Pinkie Pie Promise.

I finally worked up the nerve to read Sergeant Sprinkles little tale a few days ago. I also just got done watching EdPlus777's rendition of it, and it's certainly better than the amateur-night-in-Dixie effort he cranked out last year. (Although, the gore is a little lacking. The areas where Dashie's cutie marks have been cut off look like they have been replaced with blood-flavored pancakes, for example. To be fair, unless Pixar plans to make their rendition of this story, what you see in your mind's theatre is going to superior to what any Brony animator does.)

Here's what I think of it.
1. This story could be used as an ipecac for hospitals.
2. If Rob Zombie ever read this, it might actually make him smile in public. (No happy Rob pictures exist in any reality that I know of.)
3. It's mean, harsh, uncompromising, absolutely merciless and doesn't let go of you until the bitter end.
4. It's supposed to be a satire of Pinkiedash shipping, but I regard it as simply being a red-hot jug of high-octane nightmare fuel.
5. Reading this story is like going to a Halloween Horror nights haunted house. Lots of noise, screaming, gore, adrenaline rushes, and a mild headache after you leave.
6. It's also kind of pointless, like every Friday the 13th movie ever made. (At least Edplus777 added a little emotional oomph in the last minute of his video.)

You see folks, here's the problem. Cupcakes doesn't promise an actual story or even a decent motive behind all the sturm und drang that we are subjected to. Therefor it makes good on those non-promises. I realize that I may be looking too deep into a story that is only meant to make the reader feel as if a size twelve hob-nailed boot just smacked you in the face for the five minutes that it takes to read this mess, (deep breath) but I'm the sort of guy who likes to have a reason for all the carnage beyond "I need more of the secret ingredient". Otherwise, there's no emotional involvement, no story, character or depth. No one to root for, apart from Poor Dashie who only wanted to go home. (I'm with you there, sister.)

Why am I talking about this at all? This fandom, this wonderful fandom that gives me joy every day with new songs, stories and videos is still very young.
It's not old enough to have an "Old guard/new guard" mentality yet. (Lots of anti-EQD rage, though.) When it does, Cupcakes will be remembered, for good or ill, as part of the old guard, the old ways. But not the new ones. Please oh please.

The story is helpful to this fandom in one way, however. Whip "Cupcakes" out when Nightmare Night approaches, grab a bucket, read the thing, clean out the bucket in the sink and then strive to do better.

You know, like milesprower06. He's managed to make several stories about Dashie surviving Pinkamena's assault. Go read "A Precious Rainbow" for a great example of how much higher and farther a writer can go than Mister Sprinkles ever could.

If you don't know where this fandom has been, how can anyone gauge where it's going? If you have no sense of history, how can you ever tell if you're growing up or not?

I regard this story as akin to a rusty bicycle that you ride to a car dealership. (Because walking sucks.) Once the car is paid for, that cruddy thing is tossed into a dumpster. After that, you ride away in style, with a song in your heart and the wind in your hair.

While you drive to your new job at the Rainbow Factory.

(ding)

Nuzzles, Eskerata.
Member FDIC.

(Yes, I know the Rainbow Factory is in Cloudsdale and cars can't fly. My metaphor card just got declined and I had to wing it.) (Wing. LOL)