Silent Bob's Guide to Writing (For Serious this Time) · 2:20am Sep 25th, 2013
Eh, I thought that since I've been writing over two years pretty much every day, and that my stories have graduated from crap to... I dunno... rotten onions? I'd try to hand out a few tips to writing. Really though, this guide isn't going to tell you how to properly create a story structure or anything too fancy, just some things I've picked up that I deem important. So yeah, here we go:
1. Wait til you have a decent amount of ideas built up in the ole' noggin. And even more importantly: never write because you want an ego boost alone. Sure, it's fine to write partially for one, but once it's in your mind that you actually want to write your story, it tends to work out better. I'm not sure if it's because the mind obsesses over it and spawns more ideas, or that you simply subconsciously want to put a little more effort into said story, but it works.
- Subtip. As said above, building up ideas is important. This allows you to slowly structure a plot in your head, drop hints at future events (which helps kind of kill the 'random' factor from stories), and such. You don't need to lay the whole story out in front of you before you write it, though. It's best to write with a few ideas in mind but let it flow as naturally and realistically as possible. Ya don't need to plan out some whomping moral message or epic story. Just write when you gut's saying 'YES' and you're mind's saying 'GET ON WITH IT!'
2. In general, never spend all your time writing, obsessing about writing, or reading books with the intention of learning how to write better. It's not bad to do some of the time, but not all the time. No. This is bad for creativity: you want to get out into the world - chill with your friends - ext. Though as said above, you don't want to go into a story with no intention to make it good, but you also don't need to be stressed out over it. Going out and doing shit will allow your mind to relax and build up ideas so that when you eventually do get to writing...
3. Get in a healthy state of mind. This is undoubtedly the most important thing when it comes to writing. You should shoot for a state of calm, but not a state of calm that will make you say 'fuck it, why do I even bother trying to make it this good? Ima just go play Halo... you wanna play halo, right, body?'. Bad. Bad mind, bad. Quit being a sloth. Still, as said, you don't want to be sweating bullets while you write. Not only will it be unenjoyable to you, but it'll likely make your story stiff and unenjoyable to the readers as well. That being said, he's a few ways to clear your mind:
a. Do some sort of monotonous chore or task.
b. Drink a fuckload of water. Seriously - the body loves water, and when its even somewhat dehydrated you'll be affected mentally.
c. Drink a slight bit of coffee, but not too much. You'll have to experiment with this: typically, I drink a half-a-cup water/coffee combo when writing on top of my water.
d. Eat. Yes - that's right, eat food. Not junk food either - nothing with a lot of sugar. Protein works best for me.
e. Exercise. Kind of a pain in the ass, I know, but exercising is a decent way to relieve stress.
If none of this works, you should probably try to solve whatever problems you're facing besides a lack of decent writing, for serial. Resolve your issues, and then, what the hell - share how you resolved those issues in your writing!
4. Your story itself. Well - honestly, I'm never going to say start with one type of story then switch. If you wanna write The Lord of the Rings, go for it! Whatever floats your boat. One-shots are decent practice however, and I wish I had done this when I started. It will also give you a bit of a self-esteem boost and calm you when you try to write bigger things. Not to mention it'll give you a gauge to how well you're doing.
5. The most important thing in most stories: characters, and by extension, dialogue. I've said this time and time again in the past - I hate stories that are all descriptions. Half the time, I don't give a fuck what shirt your character is wearing, or what his father was like - I wanna know what's going on now - what's gonna happen next in the story. Ya do need to give some detail though, especially if you're introducing an unfamiliar setting, but generally - go with your gut with what you need and what you don't. I don't care what Equestriadaily says, (the fourth time they rejected my stories, the pricks. I may or may not have a grudge...), ya don't need to go into crazy detail for your story's pacing to work.
One exception though - if you think your details are interesting, hell yeah write them down, but don't just make longass descriptions cus 'it's what you are supposed to do'. Fuck that, writing is about entertaining - if your story is entertaining, you've done it right, even if it's 'John Freeman vs the Combine'. I'm being dead fucking serious, too.
Still - Equestria got one thing right, always show and don't tell.
Dialogue is the most important thing to a story because it allows the reader to see first-hand who the character is. We judge people by what we see of them, so the same can apply to fictional characters. - in fact it does, on every god damn TV show. Actions and words speak louder than inner-thoughts.
However, the most important thing of all is...
DIALOGUE IS, OR AT LEAST CAN BE, ENTERTAINING! Don't say it isn't! My favorite parts of TV Shows are character interactions, especially characters with chemistry (even if it tends to make booms), from equally diverse characters. Ya don't gotta go out of your way to make an abnormal characters though - or characters with vast, almost comical differences - just give them little things here or there that make them stand apart and roll with it.
Tips for writing dialogue:
Have fun with it and try not to obsess over it. In day to day life, we never really think too much when saying something. With writing, it's basically the same. And no, you don't have to spend all your time thinking 'what would my character say, though?'. Go with your gut - if you write down something then feel it won't work with the character, then change it - if it's even necessary. Remember, out of character moments are as natural for writing as it is in real life. How many of you know a normally silent introvert who got drunk at a party and started singing horrible karaoke? ... wasn't me, but I'm just saying. Your characters don't always need to be in character.
6. Tone diversity. My favorite shows are light-hearted ones with speckles of darkness and sorrow spread within. These shows include, but are not limited to: Adventure Time, Stargate SG-1, Teen Titans, My Little Pony (though more heartwarming and happy then sad and happy), and most importantly: Scrubs. They do not include Battlestar Galactica, however. It's a great show, but it doesn't work for me, and you know why?
Because everything defines everything else. Happiness defines sorrow, and sorrow defines happiness. And more importantly: each can be grating as shit if overdone. Scrubs is awesome because it isn't totally goofy all the time. Sure, it's light-hearted, but every episode there's some serious dramatic moments. It's the one show that can make you think you're bi-polar: you'll laugh one moment and cry another. This approach allows the show to not get too monotonous - basically, this means it doesn't allow your mind to get bored of one emotion because it gives a diverse range. And two, as I said above, happiness defines sorrow.
It's like jumping from a pool to a hot tub - it's always more hot than if you just stepped in dry.
What I mean is - going from happy to sad is a lot more potent then going from neutral to sad to... more sad. Get what I mean?
However, you don't want your story to be bipolar. Scrubs works because there's a clear divide between sad and happy. There isn't a joke one second then a horrible tragedy then a joke again. No - their happy parts last a bit, and then their sad parts last a bit- and they usually don't try to mix them together. Doing this can create a bit of emotional confusion for the reader/watcher.
7. Find your own path. Sure, it isn't bad to read guides (especially mine), but in the end, every writer is his own. Do what makes sense for you, and what you like, and you'll never have a more good ole' time.
Im sure there's a shitton of things I'm missing, but I have to sleep soon so I can go be a Walmart drone. If I think of anything else I'll make a part two or something. Hope this helps!
Nice. There's some great points in here. I especially like #2. I tend to get pretty much all my ideas from conversations I have one here or with friends, and sometimes in school. And screw improving your writing technique: you can be as technically skilled as you want, but the story idea is far more important. Pouring your head full of facts would hinder the creative process, that much is for sure.
8. Crystal Meth
I agree with most of this. Save for one small detail: while drinking can be good for writing eating generally works counterproductively towards work.
When you eat your brain directs more blood to the stomach so as to help speed up the process of digestion, one side effect being that blood is taken off the track to the brain. From there, the individual usually feels tired and lazy, hence a lack of creativity and major thought process, which explains why you get tired and sluggish after eating a lot.
So while drinking water keeps one hydrated, eating slows the mind and dulls the thought, resulting in lax and sloth.
Aka don't eat in the middle of writing
Otherwise you gave great advice
That is all. Equestria is ours.
I tend to have massive scrap files of dialogue and idea seeds. Any time I think of something, I scribble it into notepad or something then transfer it to the text dump. If I don't then I find the idea or snippet is lost forever as I can't recall it.
It doesn't even need to be neat or make sense. Just stuff to insert and polish later.
A piece I wish I could get myself to heed is the 'Get on with it' part. I tend to get bogged down on technicalities instead of just finishing a rough draft then revising later.
Good stuff overall. I think I will save this.