The care bears are evil · 8:56am Sep 19th, 2013
So I recently read a blog post by jake the army guy in which he tells a tale of betrayal, he is hornswoggled into an interview by a smarmy journalist who then went on to write an atrocious and apalling article.
Betrayal hurts, loyalty is a most wonderful thing, which is why Rainbow Dash is best pony.
But to the point the article written by the schmuck has the following.
But the Care Bears are wholesome and innocent, too. Yet you don’t see Army drill sergeants traipsing around in Funshine Bear costumes—at least not as of this writing.
This is ridiculous, the carebears are undiluted evil. Lemme explain why.
The bears all have the cute pictures on their abdomens which give a slight clue as to the bears personality and or ability. With a name like grumpy bear I find the picture of a raincloud superfluous but I digress.
The tummy symbols are basically the same concept as a cutie mark which I and a couple of other bronies find annoying. Its not implemented as well, and also the two shows are quite different, when they go in the same direction, CB isn't in the same league, not even close. I'm not sure why they have an unexplained blank flank... sorry blank belly named oopsy bear either.
However the symbols all have one power in common. No matter what it is the badge is used to implement the care bear stare.
Are you feeling grumpy? Uncooperative? Are you completely dissatisfied with the government and expressing dissent as is your human and legal right to do so? Hell no, we cant have that, time to break out the happy pills. CARE POWER ON!
Well as you can see from that clip the bears don't get their own way they shoot sunshine out of their ass... I mean their bellies until compliance is achieved.
The equivalent scenario in MLP would be for a pony to whip out an element of harmony everytime there was a disagreement and zap people into compliance. The emphasis being if they disagreed with the bearer of said element.
"Dear princess Celestia, I no longer need to learn how friendship works because we have mind control drugs."
Actually the closest they have got to behaving like this is with Ms Sparkle using a want it need it spell to try and manufacture a friendship problem. Celestia was not amused.
I think TV tropes calls it the polar opposite of mind rape because the subject is assaulted with happy thoughts. But it is an assault and its not consensual and rape victims can sometimes feel pleasurable sensations because of automatic body responses and... ugh! Not gonna follow that line of thought.
But anyway the bears think nothing of mind raping their fellow bears either. In the film Oopsy does it, grumpy bear is being uncooperative in working on a project. The bears gang up on him and sing and use the care bear stare and he 'cheers up' and gets to work doing what they want. Later on as he gets a tad less enthusiastic, funshine bear threatens him with having to use the stare again and he raises a paw and says no thanks.
He knows its wrong.
Also what is it with these bears interfering with people? They monitor human kids 24/7 without so much as a by your leave and if someone is too sad or not caring enough they will stage an intervention, sort of like fluffy social workers.
Its honestly creepy, if I spied on you with hidden cameras, then came up to you and injected you with sodium pentathol or equivalent until you agreed with everything I said, that would be incredibly wrong. If I spied on you and injected you with drugs while wearing a furry costume and singing happy songs it would still be incredibly wrong.
Some comments on that youtube video said that their childhood had now been ruined. Which made me wonder if the 80s cartoon was any better... at least in terms of not mind raping people, the music and voice acting will probably be terrible.
So I went and checked out one of the original care bear cartoons produced by DIC.
The episode is camp/birthday. In the birthday episode Joey is jealous of his unborn sister because he wants a party. He and his friend Eddie decide to trash the house. I mean really trash it, they destroy just about everything. Cue care bear intervention, regardless of the fact that Eddie's a little shit and their lack of surprise at talking bears, they tell them they need to learn to care, at which point the green bear sends sparkly powder onto Eddie and you can see his eyes widen and glaze over, I kid you not.
So the message to take home from this, is your kid delinquent or a vandal? Well never mind just blow cocaine in his face and everything will sort itself out.
This was the original, not really an improvement. So I'm not sold on the care bears, even Rainbow Dash voicing oopsy bear won't do it for me. The point made in the article is irrelevant ill thought out and terrible though of course the whole thing is terrible.
I'm gonna go drink something, Dashingmane over and out.
I have just found that news article you are talking about...
the writer, one Matt Labash is an ass and will never understand bronydom
Meh, It seems that i´m the only who likes both My Little Pony and the Carebears. i don´t see why I should hate one of those series. Like for example, there was a really dumb guy from deviantart who was obsessed with hating My Little Pony and made an utterly ridiculous image:
http://www.deviantart.com/art/MLP-makes-CareBears-look-like-this-288767702
Personally I find him and his "art" to be annoying and pathetic as well, but this is an example of ridiculous fandom rivalry I´m talking about.
1402054
Do not dignify the reporter with his name, refer to him as the cunt.
Hmm.. So one of my villains where in the right all along. No wonder he killed them all.