Sometimes · 6:54am Sep 16th, 2013
Sometimes I'm about to say the word "behooved" aloud
And then I hesitate because it has the word "hoove" in it and I'm not sure if it's a real word or another word, ponified.
I've looked it up in a dictionary like thirty times, and it still gets me.
Also, when I've written too much pony stuff, I'll be talking and it will sound like-
"Hey has any- (pause) -body seen my car keys?"
"Man, thank- (pause) -God that we got here in time."
"Celestia- (tiny pause) -l."
Also, to "Hoof the bill". Is that a thing?!?! Or is it "Foot the bill". I'm pretty sure it's hoof the bill, but if I say that in public and I'm wrong, then I'm fucked.
Why do I even write My Little Pony fanfiction? Huh?! When would I have ever even imagined I would say that?! "Man, when I'm eighteen, I hope I'm staying up late on weekends finishing that My Little Pony fanfiction."
This is so entirely fucking absurd. Everything. "Hoof the bill"oh who gIVES A CRAP. Why do I even have that problem?! Really now! These are not problems ordinary people have. These are not problems people should have.
Here's another thing- I read, like, at least ten thousand words per day. Minimum. But then, "oh, dude, what have you been reading recently?" "Oh, well, I dunno, just this really long, interesting social metaphor about parenting. Starring a magical talking unicorn." "What was that last bit? A magical-" "A magical talking unicorn, yes. And another pony, who wears a bow tie and plays the cello." "Are these, like, pony characters-" "No, no, they haven't even said a line. In this children's show that I watch regularly. They just show up in the background." This is what I read. At least 10k of.
And then there's the point where tHERE IS FUCKING PONY PORN, OUT THERE, IN THE WORLD, and while I do not partake of it myself, there are a lot of people who do regularly, it's considered a normal thing, and apparently I'm dancing on the edge of a fucking cliff, here. Of MOTHERFUCKING PONY PORN. Let me say that again. PONY. PORN. As a thing!! What the everloving fuck.
TL;DR- This is some seriously fucked up shit we're all doing here. You should be aware.
Are you having a mid-life crisis, Rey? Are you okay? You shouldn't be going crazy about this. Are you afraid of what people will think of you? You? Okay.
Like really. Are you okay?
It's foot the bill.
Ponies are at least twelve percent cooler than sanity. Maybe more!
I'd like to assure you you aren't crazy, but what fun is there in being sane?
It's foot the bill. Glad to help prevent a crisis. XD Don't feel bad. I've caught myself using 'anypony' at least once. XD Damn near bit my tongue to prevent it. XD
Man, I feel the same way. And I'm 23.
I tell people I've been writing, then they ask what, and I shit myself just a little bit and make something up.
Once, when I was reading Background Pony and loving it, I summed up the whole plot for one of my friends by leaving out anything pony related.
I guess, yeah, it's totally insane and not normal.
But at least it's not Sonic fanfiction where everyone gets pregnant.