That's a lot of words, but feedback so far has been great. I hope to have another chapter up next week as well!LiiOR Deleted Scene - Sky Piracy and the Stygian Dawn · 5:41am Aug 26th, 2013
A meager update this week. I'm glad Sir Fancypants' final chapter was well-received! I really enjoyed writing the dialog between him and Rarity, but it's time we got back to the real focus of this story. Enough learning, more application!
I hope to have the next chapter of LiiOR delivered by August 30th! As a teaser, Rarity takes a minute to pen a few thoughts about her feelings for Spike, but is interrupted by... well, if you've paid attention to a few clues I've left, you'll know that this story is taking place during a certain episode of The Show.
Also, I said before that I left a rather large amount of material on the cutting room floor. This particular piece had quite a bit of Rarity thinking about her relationship with Spike, combined with Sir Fancypants talking about a certain Sky Pirate he loved. I am considering if it would be viable to branch this deleted scene off into another story all its own, or merely let it lie. I would really appreciate your views on this matter, so please give it a read after the break!
Without further introduction, Deleted Scenes Theater presents:
Love is its Own Reward
Sky Piracy and the Stygian Dawn!
"This is not an easy story for me to tell, and I think I have already outstayed my purpose." Sir Fancypants looked down into his tea. "Miss Rarity, you understand that this afternoon has been a very informal one. I do not mind telling you of my life, for I have little to fear from my past and much hope for my future. However, I must have your assurance that what I am about to say goes no further than this room. On the surface, it is harmless. However, you are a very clever mare, and you will doubtless draw a certain conclusion from my account." He took a sip of tea. "I do not ask this for myself, but for the sake of others. Do we have an accord?"
The designer looked away for a moment. Opal rolled her eyes and flipped through a few more pages, the book still rebelling against her touch. Rarity glimpsed sketches of airships, each one surrounded by tidbits of information. On other pages were small diagrams of curious contraptions, with short lists written next to them. Points in need of repair, parts that would wear out soon, unneeded components that could be salvaged, all were noted. The cat hissed in annoyance, and continued turning the pages to reveal skyskiffs, dirigibles, and even a grand flat-decked Hurricane-class cloudcarrier, bearing the seal of the Sky Marshals. Plumes of smoke rose from its reactors, and a swarm of pegasi buzzed around it like bees about a hive. Still, that was not the drawing she sought.
Rarity teased a lock of her mane. Did she really wish to get involved in this? She was no stranger to airships, but the ones in that book looked suspiciously like the scrapped together vessels of pirates who were rumored to roam the frontiers of Equestria. Whatever might Sir Fancypants have to do with that breed of far-flung criminal? Did she really want to know?
Yes! Oh, perhaps she was a fool, but the idea of the stallion before her standing proud on the deck of a skyskiff next to a crew of equally charming rogues... now that she thought about it, Spike would look simply dashing in a tricorn hat. Oh! And a fine leather vest, to hold his various pirating effects.
Think, Rarity. These are not the kind of pirates who have their own wardrobe advisers and contract-negotiation agents. Well, more was the pitty for them. Still, the sad look in Sir Fancypants' eyes grounded her a little. She bit her lip and thought hard. This was not a tale told for pleasure, but for education. If a day came when Spike chose another, it would not be because she had been unready to seize the moment. However, if he chose another because she was simply not worthy of him... then perhaps it would help her if she knew how another had coped with similar loss.
"Yes, Sir Fancypants. You have my word."
A twinkle returned to his eyes. "Mmm. Out where the wild winds blow, that means much. All you have out there is your word, your steel, and your crew." He rolled his shoulders. "It's almost like another world, out where the borders of Equestria blur. You see, my dear, Her Majesty never planned to rule the world. Even when she and her sister reigned together, long ago at the brightest moment of our civilization, they did not try. Equestria is their land, our land, and it is both large enough for our needs and small enough to be governed justly. There are many who carry our values beyond this land, but also many foreign powers who would see all we hold dear burned to ash. This story is about my adventures out in lands beyond Her Majesty's domain, but never beyond the reach of her light."
Opal mewed, and patted a page. On it was a photograph of a stallion with bandages covering his left side and a cat perched lazily atop his back. He was surrounded by strange artifacts, stacks of books, and a few curious tools. On one wall hung a case of medals, and below it rested his scabbard and sword. Sir Fancypants cleared his throat.
"I did a lot of traveling after my discharge. I wandered the world, figuring that I was already a dead pony walking." He tapped the bandages. "Had a hero's reputation among the military, and the Corps* bass made sure my pension always found me, no matter how far I roamed." He took a sip of tea and smiled. "All that searching was what helped me find the lost city, but the lynchpin didn't come from a book, or a relic, or even a dream. It came from a beautiful piece of music. Tell me, have you ever heard Cuffwin Keys' Ballad of Sky and Steel?"
Rarity's eyes lit up. "Oh, it's one of the most moving pieces I've ever heard! But there's only a few orchestras good enough to do it justice." The ballad was a twenty minute long story without words, yet it somehow managed to perfectly capture the feeling of soaring above the clouds aboard a ship filled with helium. The hiss of steam from the woodwinds and the clatter of gears from percussion blended with careful mood-building from the other parts of the orchestra. Together they told the story of a legendary sky pirate, a noble Grand Marshal of the Sky Marshals, and the game of cat and mouse they had played in the lawless skies of the frontier.
"Yes, it does have a reputation of breaking musicians, especially the cello section." He smiled a bit smugly, knowing that there was at least one cellist who was up to the challenge. One advantage of being rich was that you could be a patron of the deserving arts. "But, as hard of a piece as it is, I think you'll agree the effort is worth it. Cuffwin Keys did years of research to perfect the feel of that music, and I must humbly confess that he came to me for help on the final draft. After we were finished, I felt... I felt that something was different in my mind, some odd potential had been unbound. Draconic relics are often reawakened by music, and I suppose I had spent so long around them by then that I had become one myself." The stallion chuckled.
The designer was about to remark about the age of the symphony when Opal yowled. Once she had the seamstress' attention, she began to purr softly. Music was one of the most powerful things in the dreamtime, for hearing was one of the few senses that the sleeping mind still retained a connection to. A song could weave body and soul together, and ring through the sleeping world like rings across a pond. Granted, dragon-music was more like a tsunami than a soothing ripple, but the principle remained the same. She tried to communicate these weighty thoughts to her new owner, but Rarity seemed to have trouble understanding even the simple "Meeew."
"Strange. That's usually the sound she makes when she wants to help me with my dressmaking."
"Is it?" The stallion twisted one side of his mustache, the picture of innocence. There were some truths that this poor Element Bearer should not have to carry about in her mind. "Mmm, hardly the time for that now, little one. I think what she is trying to say is that music can be a very powerful force. The written word preserves knowledge, but music is a form of communication that transcends words." The stallion took a sip of tea. "You've heard that ballad, and so you know this story ends on a sad note. Even so, I think it's worth telling. Hmm, best to start with the girl. If I don't explain her well, you won't understand why I fell for her in the first place." He chuckled. "I suppose it all started when I took a three-hour tour on a dirigible to see some draconic ruins."
"Nothing good ever seems to happen on three-hour tours, does it?" Rarity asked with a smile.
He shook his head sadly. "The first warning was a few cannon-rounds through the upper hull, popped one of the helium bladders. The shot tore straight through one side and out the other. We had redundancies of course, but the pirates' purpose was terror, to shock and awe us while they boarded. I knew right away that we were doomed, but I'm a stubborn colt. As soon as I saw them begin merrily doing away with passengers, I slipped into a maintenance vent and started thinning their ranks." The stallion patted his sword. "Lots of chaos. Within minutes, our airship was full of screaming passengers and laughing rogues. Midway through the assault, I found myself hurled out of a window and saved only by a lucky grab at a dangling cable. While I was hanging there, I saw another pirate skyship that had snuck up on our two little vessels. They also boarded us, and began hacking away at the first bunch with equal merriment. It was all an ambush, you see, and we poor tourists were the unwitting bait."
The designer shivered. "Does that sort of thing happen often on the frontiers?"
"It's almost like another world out there. A world of strange inventions and stranger ponies... but all the same, in some ways it feels closer to what Her Majesty wanted for all Equestria. Out there, it doesn't matter if you're a colt or a filly, if you're a gryphon or a unicorn, all that matters is your brass and your mind." It was a place that could really use a touch of culture and fashion, but that was not his place to suggest. "I hoped the two bands of brigands would whittle each other down, and they were doing a fair job of it... but I couldn't resist another of my stupid mistakes." The stallion smiled.
His hostess took a sip of tea and raised an eyebrow, interested. The story at least distracted her mind, let her focus on something else while she digested everything Sir Fancypants had told her. He had given her many ideas, but they were hers to apply. He had even suggested that she could find somepony else. On one hoof, that feeling of freedom, of not being bound to Spike encouraged her. On the other... he would cry, wouldn't he. It was a wonderful thing to see that little dragon smile, but a horrid one to imagine him in tears. Worse, if she chased after a stallion, he might find solace in another's embrace. Then she might lose him forever. She set her jaw and vowed firmly that, if such a day ever came, it would not be because she was unprepared to seize the moment.
Sir Fancypants continued after a sip of tea. "You see, the new arrivals were taking prisoners along with booty, while the first batch were decidedly not. I was in the process of deciding if I should give myself up or try to hide when I saw a mare dressed in a leather jacket and a bicorn hat. Some small part of my brain noticed that she was wearing the colors of the second batch of pirates, but what really caught my attention was that she was locked in a life or death struggle with a rather muscular earth pony. He had a knife and had gotten the drop on her, managed to knock her blade away." The stallion rubbed his front hooves together. "And... well... I couldn't just stand by and watch a lady be murdered, even if she was a pirate."
"You rescued her?" The seamstress asked with a coy smile.
"Well, I tried to, but he heard me pull my sword and whirled around. Got under my guard, I wasn't used to fighting curvy daggers with a long-blade, and he had good reflexes. I parried quick and gave ground, old trench-fighter's instincts kicking in." The old soldier paused, and a curious expression passed over his face. "Then there was this horrible aaak-aaack, and he just sort of... dissolved. There was a figment of him left in the air, and I got my first good look at her through it. She held a conglomeration of sparking coils and whirring gears with one hoof, her wings flared to keep the recoil from knocking her flat. A beautiful green scarf was around her neck, and her eyes... to this day, I can still see those eyes. There was something in them that I've only ever seen in one other mare. Her Grand Royal Highness, Princess Celestia of Equestria." He rubbed his chin. "Majesty, I think that's the best way to describe it. True majesty, a worthiness of power and authority."
"But she was a pirate." The designer said with a raised eyebrow.
"Yes, she was." He let out a happy sigh. "She was a true brigand, a girl who would shoot you as soon as look at you... but for all that, she had a noble spirit. Perhaps it was because she spent so much time around noble gasses. Of course, I didn't know any of that at the time. All I knew was that she had a very curious weapon and a pair of beautiful eyes pointed at me. I sort of smiled at her, and she smirked back. Then she stepped forward, blew away the figment that still lingered in the air, and started forcing me to give ground. I could have swung at her, but I didn't, and... she knew I wouldn't."
"Did she say thank you?"
"Ah..." He blushed. "It was more like... oh, I can't do her voice justice, but she had a cold, focused way of talking. If you weren't part of her crew, that was usually all you saw of her, just brass and leather, and that wavy grey mane. Anyway, before I knew it she had me up against the guardrail. She looked me straight in the eye, and said, 'your money or your life, Expeditioner.'" The stallion sighed, a fond look in his eyes, and took a long sip of his tea. "She knew what I was by my sword, and said she would rather not atomize me if she didn't have to. I told her she was the best chance a poor flightless boy had of getting off this dirigible alive. She smiled at me... have you ever had a hungry manticore smile at you, my dear? I say, she had a grin that could stop a tank column."
"What happened?"
"She asked me for my word of honor that I would obey her orders, and promised me safe passage back to a free port if I complied. I told her that I was already as good as dead, but if she promised to extend the same kindness to the other passengers I would gladly follow her commands." He winked at the mare. "Of course, she already planned to do that. Murdering civilians was bad business. In those moments, we took one another's measure, and I am glad to say that she exceeded every expectation I formed of her." The stallion chuckled. "She told me to call her Captain, I didn't even know who she was until she had bested the rival gang's leader in a clash of blades. With his last breath, he cursed her, the Dread Pirate Steelmane."
"What?" Rarity gasped, her eyes wide. "But... but all the stories say that she never gave any quarter, never left any captives alive!"
He chuckled. "My dear, those stories were for the most part written by ponies who never set hoof aboard a real skyskiff. And they are in fact true, if you fought her and then sought quarter, she would offer none. On the other hoof, if you were a poor tourist who happened to be caught in the middle of a horrible mess... well, she was really just about the best face you could hope to see, short of Grand Marshal Deringer Sky." The stallion's face fell slightly. "Anyway, once she had all of the survivors together, she explained things simply. This had all been a trap. Her crew was sacking the other pirates' ship, and they had what she needed. However, our little dirigible was burning, losing helium at a terrible rate, and far from a port. We had two options, either stay with the ship and try to nurse it back to a safe landing, or go with her as guests aboard her airship, the Stygian Dawn."
"Didn't you have any pegasi aboard?" The younger unicorn asked, then took a sip of her tea.
"Oh, yes. Several decided they were just going to fly home, and she bid them farewell with a sad smile, after telling them that it really was a lot further away than they thought. Furthermore, they had no maps, or navigational aids." The old soldier leaned back. "As for me, I was suspicious, but the little one seemed to like this Captain Steelmane. At the very least, I knew that if she was going to kill me, I would be facing her, and that would be a worthy sight to go out seeing. Most of us went with her, after she explained what she had in mind. She needed some extra hooves to work a dig at some nearby draconic ruins, the same one that the tour dirigible was headed for. If things went well, we would be dropped off safely at a port within two months, perhaps with some coin in our pockets. Best of all, she had a map of the ruins, taken from the body of the other pirates' leader." Sir Fancypants winked. "So, I became her prisoner. That, my dear, was how I met her."
"But Sir Fancypants, you're an upstanding patriot. Surely you couldn't throw in your lot with a pirate!"
"Miss Rarity," he chided with a smile. "I was not throwing in my lot with pirates. I was a prisoner, forced aboard against my will. She even walked me across the gangplank at gunpoint." His eyes twinkled at the memory. "However, I was somewhat at fault for convincing the other ponies not to throw their lives away by staying with the sinking tour ship. Furthermore, I was entirely at fault for developing a healthy respect for her. She was not a brute like other pirates I had seen, or a common criminal. I realized quite quickly why she was so feared. She had a set of principles, and ran her ship like a military operation. If you were one of her crew, you followed her orders, and she would never hang you out to dry. There was a camaraderie and a sense of purpose that other pirates could never match. Normally, such renegades are not open to such a structure of discipline, but that was why she only took the best. The sense of being part of an elite unit helped meld them to her will." He coughed. "She was as brilliant as she was beautiful, and she held a healthy interest in draconic ruins, too."
"Mrrraow!" Opalescence yowled in triumph. She had finally found the page she was looking for. The cat patted a sketch of a pegasus with a beautiful brown coat and a mane colored three shades of grey. The mare was sitting atop a throne of brass and steel, surrounded by hundreds of whirring gears, spinning dials, and winking fireflies. Spread before her was a worn map, lightly sprinkled with chesspieces and playing cards, weighed down by a cog and a half-empty bottle. Her eyes burned with a dark pink fire, and her smile was calculating, but somehow not cruel. She was leaning toward the viewer and held a chipped white knight in one hoof, as though contemplating its value. Sir Fancypants blushed as the old memories came sailing back through his mind.
"This... this must have taken you hours," was all Rarity could think to say.
"I had time. Not much else to do when you're a prisoner of the Dread Pirate Steelmane."
"It sounds like she took your heart captive rather than your body, Sir Fancypants."
The stallion nodded, and blushed again. "I... after I was no longer fit for service, I didn't know what to do with my life. I met many fine girls in my travels, but they all wanted to settle down, have a family. A noble thing, but... well, I didn't think I would be much of a father." Worse, after the accident he had thought that adoption was the only way he could ever call a foal his own. "I didn't have a good idea what a father was supposed to do. Then I met her, Captain Steelmane, feared and respected throughout that unmapped world. She swept in with a shipful of motley brigands, saved my life, won a daring sword duel, started belting out orders, and... and I felt... I felt like I was home. I knew who was in command, and I knew what my place in the world was. She realized that quickly, she was a master manipulator. Captain Steelmane pulled me right in, but even though I knew that she was pulling my strings, I liked it." He lifted the cup to his lips and downed all that was left in it. "Because I could tell from the moment I looked into her eyes that she was a mare who lived not on pain and misery, but by her own definition of right and wrong. Yes, she was a pirate, but she was not evil. I had seen evil. It wore a different face."
Rarity leaned forward to refill him, but the stallion barely noticed. "I... I did love her from the first moment I looked into her eyes. She felt something for me as well, but she was hardly about to let me into her heart. Lovestruck colts like I were two for a bit, but an Expeditionier, ah! Captain Steelmane could use one of those, and if he knew about draconic ruins, so much the better."
"You had to earn her respect." The mare said quietly, thinking of how hard Spike worked to earn hers. Opal smirked again, and flipped a few more pages.
"Quite. When we got to the ruins, we found another band of pirates was already there. They wanted the map. She wanted them gone. Negotiations broke down quickly." The stallion smiled. "One of her tricks was a beautiful old Stormblade-class plasma cannon that fed directly from the main reactor. Shut down almost everything else on the ship when it fired, and the system was held together with brass, ingenuity, and duct tape. Of course those cannons have notoriously temperamental machine-spirits, and it didn't want to fire. Before we reached the ruins, the Captain had asked me about my bandages, and I had explained that they looked better than the scarring underneath. That peaked her interest, so I was obliged to explain that I had gotten then from surviving the overload of a Sherman Russ Executionier-class' reactor. So, when I offered to have a look at her cannon while she carried on the pretense of negotiations, she hesitantly agreed."
The cat mewed softly, drawing Rarity's eyes to another page that had been pasted into the book. It was covered with formulas and notes, and singed on one edge.
"If I recall right, her coils were misaligned. Once I got the electromagnetic fields corrected, we hurled a small sun at the rival ship. That abruptly concluded all negotiations to Captain Steelmane's satisfaction, even if it took us twenty minutes to get the lights turned back on. Oh, she loved that cannon, and having it working again put a smile on her muzzle that terrified all the other prisoners." Sir Fancypants raised a hoof to his mouth and winked. "Ah, but I'm losing focus again. Hardly surprising, I'm getting to the part where we were all given shovels and told to dig. I'm not adverse to hard work, but unicorns were not built for digging."
"Certainly not!" Rarity agreed.
"Still, I'd scratched out my share of trenches, and I was better off than some of the idly rich tourists who had never seen a shovel before in their lives. She and her crew were right there with us though, and it was hard to complain when each of them was doing the work of two of us. Well, most of us." He smiled again, and Opal groaned. She remembered all too clearly how much he had enjoyed playing in the mud. She had curled up under a cool stone gargoyle and napped. The stallion rolled his shoulders. "Her map was fantastic, we found about a dozen working artifacts. I felt like an explorer, venturing into long-forgotten rubble, sketching everything I could, and getting a far better feeling for those ruins than if I had simply gone there myself. It was a grand haul. I even found a little gizmo that I tinkered with for ten years before I could get it working. Captain Steelmane kept her word, and we were all cut loose at a free port. She told us that we could speak to anyone we cared to about what had happened, but she had many enemies who just might try and pick a few secrets out of our brains if our tongues wagged too freely. Before she let me go, however, she called me to her cabin and asked me what I thought of her."
The dressmaker took a sip of tea. "Was she trying to recruit you?"
"In a way. I told her that I thought she was a criminal, an explorer, and a very cunning mare. Still, I owed her my life. She smiled at me, and for a moment... well, I felt like if she asked for the moon I would do my best to bring it down for her." He blushed, then continued after a cough, "ah, she told me that stallions who understood draconic ruins were hard to come by out here, and honorable swords were just as rare. Then she told me that there was another ruin, deep in pirate airspace. I knew of it already, I'd heard the rumors, but she confirmed them. She told me that pirates were known to kidnap useful minds to help them understand those ruins well enough to loot them, and warned that if I happened to be in a certain pub at a certain time two weeks from then, I might find myself carted away against my will."
He sipped at his tea and winked at his hostess. She curled a lock of her mane thoughtfully, then smiled. "Oh. You couldn't go with her by your own choice. You are an Expeditioner. But if she kidnapped you, you would have no choice but to go along with her."
"Precisely. A loophole that served us very well many times. I walked down the gangplank that day with a spring in my step, and a bag full of bits hanging from my belt. However, just after I had ordered my companion and I some refreshment, I was accosted by the law." The stallion chuckled.
Opal hissed, and turned the pages again, revealing a photograph of Sir Fancypants sitting in a police interrogation room, with two uniformed Sky Marshals breathing down his neck. In one corner was a timestamp, however it had been smudged to illegibility by the march of time. The cat hissed again.
"They tossed her in a kennel while they were trying to put the squeeze on me." He rolled his eyes. "Amateurs, really, I felt sorry for them after the surprise wore off. Apparently, several of the prisoners had ran straight to the precinct house and cried that I was a conspirator with the pirates. I had apparently organized the entire ambush on the dirigible. Fortunately, my reputation kept me out of too much trouble before the Grand Marshal showed up."
The book turned to another page, this one held a photograph of a stern blue pegasus in an impressively-decorated uniform sitting across a beautiful oak table from a bemused Expeditioneer and his cat. The pegasus was speaking earnestly while pointing at Sir Fancypants' sketch of Captain Steelmane. The cat was lapping milk from a saucer.
"She was his white whale, if you've read that old classic." The stallion smiled. "Grand Marshal Daringer Sky could bring in any pirate, crack any smuggling ring, and outwit any heinous plot against the good ponies of the frontier towns. Any except for those concocted by Captain Steelmane. He had caught her once, but somehow the charges hadn't stuck. Ever since then, she had teased him, tormented him, and on one occasion proclaimed loudly before the mightiest pirates in all the world that he "wasn't worth the juice to atomize." However, she had slipped up, for I was an Expeditioneer. Surely I would aid Her Majesty's Sky Marshals in bringing this criminal scum to justice."
The mare's eyes widened, and her tail swished back and forth as she thought. "So you ended up at the bar she told you to avoid?"
"With a homing beacon stitched into my bandages, and another stashed in my research kit." Sir Fancypants confirmed. "I was nervous, but it wasn't my first covert operation. However, I had told him up front that I would not throw my life away just so he could add another medal to his chest. He assured me that this was not about medals. It was personal. He wanted to see her swing for her crimes, and I had to agree that she deserved it. Still, I could tell from the way he talked that he knew she was making this too easy, and yet he had to grasp at the chance."
A thought finally sunk into her mind. "That's it, isn't it? I... it seems too easy, to me." She blushed. "Spike. I thought I would have to earn a prince, but he's... he's head over heels for me, and I didn't do anything at all."
The stallion blinked a few times, returning from his past life to the current moment. "Ah... I suppose-"
"Is that what made your relationship with Fleur all the sweeter?" She asked quickly. "You had to set everything in order for her, win her affection, court her. You didn't just hold out a fetlock for her to take. That's why it doesn't feel right. Even after all we've been through together, it's always been us against the world. Never us... for the sake of us." The mare settled back and sipped at her tea. "My apologies, Sir Fancypants, I just-"
He applauded quietly. "A student need not apologize for giving a wise answer, my dear. Mmm, I dare say you've learned all you can from this story. That is the truest point, love cannot be earned, it must be given." The stallion reached for his book. "Perhaps I should bid you fare-"
Opal yowled, and poked him with a claw.
"Hmm. Well, then again, I haven't gotten to the part about the price of love." He took a sip of tea. "Would you care to hear that?"
"Sir Fancypants, does Fleur ever have you read books to her?"
The old soldier blinked a few times and scratched his mane. "Ah... yes. Yes, she does. We'll curl up next to the fire during the winter months and read together. Why?"
An impish grin spread across the mare's face. "I could listen to you for hours, good sir."
The girl's picking up a bit of my charm. He thought with a smile.
You can recognize a few chunks that I used for A Recommendation, but the majority of this is unpublished work. Again, I'd love to hear your thoughts!
You know, after reading this and the stuff before in the story, I had a bunch of vivid mental images of the grand marshal breaking the pirate's nose and wing after the dance and calling her a harlot, then challenging her to a duel to the death, because of what she did to Fancypants..... It was just so cruel, what happened between him and the pirate.... I also saw a scene of Fancypants carrying the Marshal, the Marshal asking Fancypants why he's saving him, and Fancypants' angry reply, "You know damn well why..." There's a whole bunch of other stuff too, more mental images and all that but that can wait for another time, if you're still interested....
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Awesome to hear from a reader! The whole Sky Pirates story was a figment I stitched into the LiiOR narrative because it fit the mood. I wanted to give the reader a sense that love is sometimes a grand adventure, and what better way than to describe it as a ballad among the clouds?
I'm glad that you got mental images, I always try to write in a way that fills the reader's mind with what I saw in mine, and hearing that I sparked your imagination tells me that this part of LiiOR really was a smashing success. The entire point of these chapters was to give the reader a sense that Rarity and Spike are very tiny in the scope of the world, but love is a massive, global concept.
I have an entire "story" sketched out in drafts for the Dread Pirate Steelmane and the Grand Marshal Derringer, there's probably twenty thousand words on my hard disk that I cut from LiiOR because it got too far away from the Spike+Rarity core focus. I even clipped out their names, because that was not as important as Fancypants telling the story! In order to write all that, though, I had to build the characters in my mind, so I'm able to look at the ideas you're suggesting through "their eyes".
My big regret is that I wasn't able to flesh out the Grand Marshal's character as well as I would have liked. I tried to paint him as a stallion who became the law, and gave up his mercy in order to do so. He turned cold and hard inside, sacrificing his own desires on the altar of Justice. However, the Sky Pirate was the one pony who could tug him out of his shell. She knew what made him tick, and she had known him when he first became a Sky Marshal. He was the only one who ever truly "caught" her, before he turned cold.
Over the years, the game of chase they played kept her honest and him sane. She knew that if she ever became a real monster of a pirate, he would find some way to destroy her. He knew that if he ever became a tool of the politicians and the corporate barons, a bureaucrat instead of a lawbringer, she would find some way to destroy him. Sir Fancypants had the unique privilage of watching this from both sides. The dance was not her way of rubbing dirt in Fancypants' face, he was in on the plan from the beginning. In the bottom of his heart he knew they were better for each other, but it was still hard for him to accept when the time came. He was a wounded warrior full of passion, and he truly loved the Sky Pirate. Even wounded, though, he was still full of all that energy we see in his appearances in FiM.
The dance was her way of smashing through that shell, forcing the Grand Marshal to admit to himself that he did care for her. Oh, I wish I could post that entire scene, since I doubt that I will ever have a chance to publish their full adventures, but it would make little sense without time and effort spent on polish. In brief, he was in no state to hurt her after the dance. She had concluded the evening's festivities by dragging him on stage and thanking the assembled tycoons and other rich ponies for their charitable contributions. Then she kissed him on the cheek, tossed away her disguise, and with a hearty "yarr" robbed them all blind. Three days later, Sir Fancypants brought back the money that had been earmarked for charity, with a hefty contribution from Steelmane and her crew.
In one night, she had romanced, soothed, and humiliated the Grand Marshal. He wanted to strangle her to death with his bare hooves, but not because he thought she was a mare of loose morals. On the contrary, she had told him plainly that she wanted to be with him, but if he truly didn't care for her she had a very worthy unicorn as a fallback. He hated her for outwitting him, but at the same time Sir Fancypants knew that when his friend swore vengeance against the Dread Pirate, it was only the Law speaking. The stallion inside wanted to feel as free as he had that night when they danced. All the same, that was what lead up to him seeking a pardon for her, and wanting to be with her. However... well, you already know how that story ends... or do you?
As for a duel to the death, well, Grand Marshal Derrigner and the Dread Pirate Steelmane did that almost every time they met. Fancypants would have felt insulted if Derringer had tried to "defend his honor", cripple though he might be. Also, you are dead-on about Derringer not accepting why Fancypants would save him during the Skyfold Blitz. The Grand Marshal expected to die in the assault, but he knew that Steelmane and his friend would be happy together. However, Fancypants is an Expeditioner. The difficult can be accomplished at once, the impossible will take a little while!
The Dread Pirate Steelmane loved the Grand Marshal, and if it was the last thing he was going to do, Fancypants would get that sorry pegasus through this Blitz and into a chapel with her, even if he had to do it at swordpoint! Why? Because it was right, that's why, and because he was Knight-Commander Fancypants of Her Solar Majesty's Expeditionary Corps!
Sorry for the delay on the response, I've been hammering this reply together for a while now, and working on that last chapter of LiiOR. I absolutely love to hear from my readers, it's the only kind of pay an author gets on this site! I'm so glad that I sparked your imagination, and I hope that you continue to enjoy my stories! You're a Good Guy.
Finally, as a little token of appreciation, here's a snippet from the dance scene I mentioned. It's still a rough draft, so expect a few errors and perhaps some wooden lines, but I wanted to give you a little taste of how I wrote that story, since I do not think it will ever be published otherwise. Enjoy!
Thanks for the feedback, it really means a lot to me, as I hope you can tell! Not a lot of readers bother to comment, so that makes a well thought out comment like yours all the more precious!
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No, actually, I don't know, not really, I have an idea, that they died together but I'd like you to confirm, please.... Also, Derringer wanted a pardon for her? Sorry, but that seems a little hard to believe....
Uh... I never really knew Fancypants to have any energy or zeal, you never really saw anything about him until "Sweet And Elite" and he never really gave anybody much to go on.... Also, you never said that he was in on the plan in the beginning, you just said that he figured it out at the dance itself, or at least, that's what it sounded like....
Also, forgive me, but Steelmane actually DOES sound like a monster, she just doesn't quite see herself as one, but the Grand Marshal does bring it out in her when they fight afterwards, especially since she killed his brother, that's what happened in my vivid mental images, anyway.... Also, it doesn't seem that Derringer would let the "rich tyrants" get away with "stepping on the poor", so to speak. In his eyes, no one would be above the law, and he'd probably dedicate his life to ensuring that everyone had a right to live in freedom in happiness, see the thing is, I seem to get that Steelmane and Derringer are vastly similar, the difference being that Derringer actually genuinely cares about others, and would everything in his power, but it would still be difficult and take time all the same, while Steelmane, only cares about herself at the end of it all, and only helps others when it's in line with her own wants and needs, and she tends to be cheap about payment, too... And because of that, that will lead to her own destruction at the end, after all, how DID the Cabal get the plans for those ANCIENT WEAPONS OF DESTRUCTION? Plus, Derringer has a white chess knight as a cutie mark, if that helps or anything.... Also, who in their right mind would have a de-atomizing ray gun as a weapon of choice, if not for inflicting torture, suffering and a very long, agonizing, slow and painful death? Only a monster would do that....
"He doesn't know who you are. WHAT you are, and for all our sakes, I hope he never does, for I doubt any of Equestria itself would be able to stand with pride again if his fury was unleashed in its full," said Derringer as his eyes shone back into hers, filled with conviction. "He's blissful in his ignorance, and when you do what we've both done, you learn the true value of happiness, a true rarity in itself, and to take anything like that away, no matter how fake of superficial, even from the lowest of us, would be one of, if not THE worst, things, you could ever do to anyone. I say ONE, because there are quite a few other things I can think of.." He said as his eyes glowed red. Steelmane felt something cold pressed against her chest.. Stealing a glance down, she saw a golden pistol wedged right up to her heart, the hammer at half-cock. Looking back at Derringer, he leaned in close and whispered, every ounce of his words dripping with venom, "Let's go, I think a little privacy might be nice, especially since, you seem to be ever so tired after all that dancing..." "Oh, Derringer, you wouldn't, not with all these "innocent lives" at stake. It's not really your 'style'," Steelmane replied coolly, trying hard not to sweat. The hammer cocked at full and the barrel hummed to life, ready to shoot a concentrated beam of lightning at its target, the sounds only audible between the two dancers. "You honestly think I live according to a 'style'? How you survived this long, I'll never know." replied the Marshal. That's something else I visualized, just in case you were wondering....
Hmm, eh, doesn't really sound like Derringer would actually say something like that, not really his style...
1380825
Again, great to see you're interested. To help clarify, let me break down your points and link to some quotes. I'm not trying to be snooty in the least, but please understand that much of this is based on extensive work I did writing and designing these characters. While I fully appreciate your ideas and congratulate you on them, I am trying to represent these characters based the personalities I have created for them, just as I try to represent Spike and Rarity with show-accurate personalities.
The overall "idea" for Derringer and Steelmane was that of two bitter enemies who still respected each other, a sort of Victorian-era rivalry between two great minds. Steelmane knew she was a bad, bad mare who had done many evil things, and made no excuse for those crimes save that she had drawn her own line in the sand and refused to cross it. She did not wish for Derringer to join her in piracy, and he could not say to her: "Give it all up, I'll wipe your slate clean, and you can start anew on the side of the Law."
However, the Blitz represented an opportunity for her. She could warn them, and give them the information needed to counter-punch the slaver invasion. This act would be enough to show her good intentions, and she knew Derringer could spin it into a pardon. However, she wouldn't have sent the letter to the Grand Marshal if she thought he wouldn't help! She would have negotiated what she wanted in trade for the information, instead of just giving it up front. Steelmane trusted Derringer's love for her to be sufficient motivation for getting the pardon, but just in case she sent along that letter that he burned. He burned it to keep her safe, since it was a simple confession of her love and an acknowledgment that the Blitz would reshape the balance of power in the borderlands. There would be no place for pirates in the sky afterward, if you'll recall what Sir Fancypants said about "counter-punching". Again, so much detail I had to strip out!
Okay, let's get to those awesome points you made!
1.
Again, please remember that much of the story was trimmed in order to keep the focus on Spike and Rarity. It hurt to do, but the point was not Sky Piracy and The Law, but a dragon and a unicorn. However, here's a quote from A Recommendation:
The only way for the Dread Pirate Steelmane to pay for her sins in the eyes of the law was to die. Even a pardon would not have erased Derringer's memory of the things she had done, even if he had agreed with her motives on occasion. Those two could never be together, as much as their hearts might have longed for it, there was too much history.
After the dance, Derringer wanted to find some way of giving his heart some peace. He did care about her, and she had in fact helped him many times throughout his career. Yes, she was an unrepentant murderer, but he had pulled the trigger on many pirates he could have shown mercy to, simply because he had "just cause". He thought that if Steelmane truly wished to walk on the side of the Law, she would be worthy of a pardon, if he had enough evidence. Warning them of the Blitz was all the evidence he needed, and the letter she enclosed for him, the one he burned, was a humble confession that she was willing to leave everything behind if it meant they could be together. To put it more directly, she said she was "willing to die for him."
The bottom line is that Sir Fancypants and the Dread Pirate Steelmane were close friends, but she had always admired Derringer from the day he first caught her. He stood for the law, the equal law that she had never known growing up. He respected her, because for all her crimes she was still noble. She spared Sky Marshals when she could have killed, she always treated her crew well, and she had become something of a hero to the common pony because she would often intervene in the lot of the weak and oppressed. Again, I didn't get to show off too much of that because of the focus of the story, but that is the character I designed for her. What this all means is, though the Dread Pirate Steelmane and the Grand Marshal Derringer died together, perhaps there are two pegasi who left their old lives behind, but not their old loves.
(I'm sorry if that hurts your mental picture of them, I tried to imply it heavily with Sir Fancypants getting tight lipped about what really became of those two.)
2.
In Sweet and Elite Fancypants is an extremely active character, constantly hosting parties, sailing on his sky-yacht, and bumping into certain members of the Mane Six. He's constantly on the go, and regarded as "the most important pony in Canterlot". For just one episode, he gets quite a bit done, but that's just my interpretation.
As for him being in on the plan, let me give you another quote from the main story:
In particular, the line:
Steelmane brought him along as her character witness. She could try and bluff the Grand Marshal, but he might decide to risk it. However, if Fancypants told him that the place really was rigged, it would mean much more to the Grand Marshal because of their friendship. The point was not Fancypants saying it was rigged, but rather Fancypants saying that Derringer should go along with her little charade. Furthermore, Derringer knew that Fancypants would not tolerate civilian casualties, and so was able to trust that the unicorn knew enough to guarantee no blood would be spilled. Sir Fancypants was a critical part of the plan, and I'm sorry if that wasn't clear enough on the first read!
3.
Oh dear. How do I put this... Your mental images are wonderful, and I'm really happy that I was able to entertain you. That's a big part of the author's reward. However, I have my own script and design written for these two characters, and... that's not what happens. Let me clarify a quote from the deleted scene above:
The issue of catching Steelmane was personal to Derringer because she kept humiliating him. She knew how to ruffle his feathers, everything from leaving a smiling photograph of herself on his desk in place of the evidence he needed to convict one of her crew, to drawing a mustache on his face after knocking him out in a fight. Another pirate would have left a bomb, or cut his throat, but she was always teasing, never terminal. The idea of killing his brother would be repulsive to her, especially because of her childhood. Also, I wrote him as an only child, much like her. He was orphaned at an early age, but tested well on the Sky Marshals' Juvenile Examinations and was accepted into the Academy while still struggling to learn how to fly. Regardless, even if he had ten brothers, Steelmane would have been loath to kill one, because...
Oh... what the hey, here's a look at one of my design documents, lightly edited for easier reading. (Yes, I really put a lot of love into these characters. I hope that this is an enjoyable read for you, because I'm not doing this to "stamp on your imagination". I'm taking this chance to show a fan who cares some of the work I did with the characters I invented, and I really hope it's a pleasant experience for you. That's why I've spent close to two hours on this for you, instead of on the next chapter of LiiOR!)
Steelmane was a monster, but she was the common mare's monster. Oh, no, she wasn't Robin Hood, but she knew that kindness and a big gun gets you much further than cruelty and fear. To put things in context, she was born to wage-slaves in an Omnicorp-owned mine. The Omnicorp sent pegasi deep into the earth to mine out raw materials, because their lives were "cheaper" than steam machines, and there were not enough earth ponies to do the job. She was raised in underground habitation blocks and rarely ever saw the sky. You were born in the mines, and you would die in the mines, but don't worry! Everything is legal, your parents signed the right documents and the politicians made it so. Ah, even if it wasn't perfectly legal, the Sky Marshals were too weak to challenge the Omnicorp's enforcers, and where else were all these workers going to go?
That was her life. Her father taught her how to play chess, her mother taught her how to fly through the ventilation shafts of the mine. Steelmane wasn't happy, but she kept that childlike innocence and made her parents smile... until her tenth birthday. Her mother had fallen ill, and missed three days of work. It was the black lung that killed everypony, that was why her parents encouraged her to spend as much time as she could in the ventilation shafts, keeping clean air in her lungs. All the kids hung out near the air-intakes.
However, her mother had fallen behind on quota. So, on Steelmane's tenth birthday, she got to watch a pair of Omnicorp enforcers kick in her front door, drag her coughing mother out of bed, and lash her as a "disciplinary action". Oh, but it was perfectly legal. The Omnicorp had wide authority over its ponies, for that nasty "Declaration of Harmony" did not apply out here, nor did the "Constitution Astral of Equestria". This was beyond Celestia's light, where even her Expeditioners rarely dared to roam. In this land, power ruled, and power was divvied up between the Omnicorps and the corrupt politicians in the government. The Sky Marshals tried to enforce the law, but the law could be made more amicable by a few well-placed bribes. Why fight the lawbringers, when you can simply add a layer of obscuring regulations atop their precious Natural Rights?
Her mother died two days later. The enforcers returned to administer another lashing, and that proved too much for her heart. Steelmane's last memories of her mother were of a bleeding corpse, being drug away by two black-masked earth ponies. Her father had been down in the mines, working himself to the bone to try and make up for his wife's missed shifts. He didn't come home for twelve more hours, and when he did he found that his daughter had been playing chess against herself, just turning the board back and forth, looking at every possible angle. The absurdity of the moment cut through his grief, and he asked her why. She replied, without looking up, "because no matter who wins, the pawns always lose. They outnumber everything else, but they always lose." Later that night-cycle, for they had no way of measuring time by Celestia's sun and instead relied on the clocks issued by the Omnicorp, they received a consolation notice. It was completely machine-typed, with a stamped signature at the bottom, and informed them that regrettably one of the employees quartered at this habitation cell had died in a mining accident. In the morning, the two remaining occupants would be relocated to a "more suitably sized" habitation cell so that this one could again be efficiently occupied by three ponies. Omnicorp cares!
Steelmane got her cutie mark the next day. When her father woke, for exhaustion will force you to sleep even when your heart is broken, he found her sitting at the chessboard again. She had the little piece representing the black queen in her fetlocks, but all the other pieces from both colors were turned over in the center of the board. Around them was a circle of pawns, black and white, arranged without regard for color. He asked her why she had done this, and her response was a cheerful, "the only way to win, is to change the rules. Isn't that what the Old Story is about, papa? Two mares who changed the rules?"
Natrually, she spoke of Celestia and Luna's Great Crusade, which had fallen into the realm of myth in the borderlands. Many doubted that a mare named Celestia even existed, she was just another imaginary hero like Omnicorp's Mister Ed Everworking. Still, the little pegasus was a child, and children believed in such things as heroes. That was why she believed it was possible to escape from the mines, even though the Omnicorps assured them it was not. "For your own safety, of course."
That was how she got her cutie mark, by outwitting the tyrants and the tycoons who ruled the borderlands with an iron hoof. She was the black queen, who turned the pawns against the ones who hid behind them. However, it took her many years to become the Dread Pirate Steelmane.
Because of that loss, Steelmane would not kill Derringer's brother, unless he was evil to the core and trying to cut her head off. To quote the girl I heavily based her on, "there are always options when you use your brains instead of your brawn!"
Also, a bit of clarification on her raygun.
It's quicker than bleeding to death from a stab in the heart, or a bullet in the torso. If you're hit with the full blast, like this sucker was, you're gone within a few seconds. That's evidenced by the fact that he doesn't scream, or struggle, or move while he's atomizing. He's just gone, except for a bit of ashy residue. As for why, well, you said it yourself, she's a monster! Why give Sir Fancypants a sword? He's a knight! It just fits the character of a steampunk sky pirate for her to have a ray-gun.
As for where the backing and tech came from... A quote from the main story:
The Cabal bankrolled everything, and tried to bring in Steelmane to attract more pirates to their banner. That was how she found out. As for how they got that tech...
They didn't build the old machine, that's not stated anywhere. It found them. One line I took out of A Recommendation's final version was:
But, that felt a bit over the top. I actually have an entire battle written out in the Capital, with armored columns of Expeditioners literally grinding slavers into smears and stacking the bodies to provide clear fields of fire. In the letter to Fancypants, Steelmane told him there was a battalion of Expeditioners on a training exercise inside the Equestrian border, and begged him to rally them. She knew they would follow him, he was a hero to their ranks, even if he was no longer on active duty. As it turned out, their commanding officer was a huge fan of the unicorn, and the entire unit redeployed to the city by way of the railroad line.
Instead of Sky Marshals and frightened civilians, the slavers ran right into a literal wall of steel and plasma, commanded by one of the sharpest military minds in recent Equestrian history. (Sir Fancypants, of course!) It was really fun to write, but again, I had to cut it!
4. I loved that little scene you did with Derringer and Steelmane. You got a lot right in there, in particular you expressed the Grand Marshal's feelings for Fancypants quite well. He knows the kinds of hades that the Expeditioner has seen, everything from foul daemons from Tartarus to the simple cruelty of ponies to one another. That's why he holds the Expeditioner to the threat of deportation, rather than trying him under the laws of the borderlands. He wants his friend to be happy, and he knows that the research he is doing into draconic ruins might be extremely valuable one day. You did really good there.
However, he would not threaten Steelmane, nor would he want to be "out of sight" with her. For one thing, she has a lifetime of close-quarters combat experience, and beats him almost every time in hoof-to-hoof. Secondly, he did have a wonderful night dancing with her. If it had been anypony else, yes, he would have fought her tooth and claw, but she engineered the perfect storm. She threatened him with the "gas", calmed him with Sir Fancypants assistance, and wooed him with the secret desire of his heart, to spend time with her. She used his Law to predict how he would act, but only did so because she knew from Sir Fancypants that he would not "risk it all" to stop her.
Still, I'm really happy that I got your mind working!
5.
Derringer is quite ruthless. However, he is a hero because he is bound by the Law, and fights for equal justice. That does not make his actions any less grim, though!
To give you a little snippet, here's how he deals with a corrupt business tycoon:
I hope you enjoyed this, and it's a real treat to talk with a fan. I wound up spending about four hours putting all this together for you, but I think it was worth it. Hearing your perspective on the characters really helps me define where they stand, since I can test it against the material I've already written. Unfortunately, I don't think I'll ever get to publish this... but you never know!
Keep visualizing, and keep reading! If you enjoy my style of writing, check out my other stories and let me know what you think of them! An engaged reader really helps keep me motivated to improve my work, as I'm sure you've seen.
1381889
Hey, Wrangler, you don't mind if I call you Wrangler, do you? Anyway, thanks for the response, you gave me a lot to think about, but I think I might have to start sending you private messages now, because the responses we're sending to each other are getting pretty long now, also, I don't really have a lot of time at my hands at the moment, so I can't look over all of the notes you sent me and talk more about the story in question, so I can't send the response I want to, sorry.
Hence the reason why I think PMs might be better.... Also, if you could send your previous responses as Private Messages to me, I think that would really help with my response, and I'll send my responses as Private Messages back to you.... Thanks....