Tell me a joke.

I'd usually go to /mlp/ for this, but... tell me a joke. Knock-knock or limerick, clean or dirty. As long as it's not an image and you made it yourself, I want to hear one. The reward?

I'll PM the person who tells the best joke, and I'll write a story to their specifications. (I'll do clop, but expect it to be terrible if you ask for that.)

Make me laugh, followers.

Comments

[applejack2357]

The other day, I complimented someone on their moustache.

She slapped me...

[Slippy]

1052653 Alright, that was pretty good.

Let's see if anyone can top that over the weekend.

[applejack2357]

1052656 I've got more, if you want to hear them...

[Slippy]

1052661 Nah, or at least not yet. Maybe at a later time.

[applejack2357]

1052676 Okay.

[Theblacksmithbrony]

So an Indian restaurant owner walks in to a shop and asks to buy some a months worth of cat food.
The shop keeper thought the Indian man to be dodgy and to make sure the cat food was not for the food he cooked he asked the man to bring in his cat.
the next day the Indian man walks in with his cat. "this is my cat. can I have my cat food now?"
the shop keeper give the cat food to the Indian man and the Indian man leaves.
The next week the Indian man walks in and asks for a months supply of dog food. the shop keeper still not believing that the food was going to the animal he asks the Indian man to bring his dog.
the next day the Indian man walks in with his dog. "this is my dog. can I have the Dog food now?"
the shopkeeper is satisfied and gives the Indian man the dog food.
The next week the Indian man comes in with a box
the shopkeeper asks him "what is this?"
the Indian man says "put your hand in so I don't have to tell you what I need"
the shopkeeper put his hand in.
"ill take a months worth of toilet paper please"

[Slippy]

1052703 Okay, that's pretty good too.

You're currently on top. If you start losing, you're allowed to post more jokes to regain first place.

[Theblacksmithbrony]

1052709 yay

[applejack2357]

1052709 Time to take back first...

So, I called the wrong number the other day. A woman answered the phone and said, 'Hello'?

I said, 'Yeah, could I speak to James, please?'

The woman was silent for a moment, then said, 'You could, but he wont do much talking. Hes three years old.'

So, I said, 'Okay, Ill wait...'

[Slippy]

1053122 A bit meh...

[applejack2357]

1053149 All right, here's one...

There's a white man standing next to a black man.

The white man says,'Psst, hey, wanna hear a secret?'

The black man says, 'Yeah.'

The white man says, 'Waffles... I like them shit.'

The black man looks at him, then says, 'You wanna hear a secret?'

The white man says, 'Yeah.'

The black man says, 'Im black.'

[Slippy]

1053171 I don't get it... does that make me a racist, or less racist than the average person?

[applejack2357]

1053231 It actually wasnt meant to be racist, so no, you're fine.

[Slippy]

1053268 Okay, good.

But that still doesn't solve the problem that I don't get the joke...

[Theblacksmithbrony]

1052709
whens the competition over?

[Slippy]

1057190 I don't know, I guess tuesday.

[Signia]

So hydrogen peroxide, sodium hypochlorite, hydrobromic acid, and Amanda Todd walk into a bar.

Only hydrogen peroxide and hydrobromic acid come back out.

[Slippy]

1153868 Umm. Uhh. Okay.

[Signia]

1153873
How many points do I receive?

[Slippy]

1153875 I forgot about this contest weeks ago.
You win, but you don't get anything.

[Signia]

1153876
IM A WEENER YAY