close, but not quite. haven't been writing because of depression mostly. i'm working on the next one, which i still am struggling on the storyboard. i want to just jump in and write it but then i would end up having to scrap it so...
may need a little motivation to write... feel free to send an angry note on the lack of writing.
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I'm not going to send you an angry note; why would I be angry? You haven't done anything wrong, at least in terms of being busy with other matters and lacking motivation to write. That is only natural. Lighten up a bit. I'm always here to listen. Who am I to say that though? I've been avoiding most of my friends (You may have noticed I slipped away from the meetup a few weeks ago), and right now I'm about the most emotionally dead person around.
I would like to see the next chapter, however. I'd have something to do in between drawing requests, job searching, house searching, and oddjobs. That aside, I'm genuinely interested in what you're going to do next in the story.
Depression you say? Has something new come up?
If it makes you feel any better, your drawing is next after I finish this title card for an Artist Alley (Artist Alley Youtube) Let's Play series on XCOM: Enemy Unknown. Regrettably, I'm pretty far behind schedule on everything. Duhad (the person doing the LP) has been waiting for over a week and I haven't finished. :/
Don't die on me. They say I'm a necromancer, but I'm a crappy one at best. I'd rather you be alive. Even if it's painful, work with me, work with everyone to help ease it. Even if you don't think you are, you are indeed a good friend. I've been a terrible friend to everyone myself, basically running away for who knows why? I need to properly return the favor.
At the moment, I've really lost the drive to live as well as to die, so I haven't made any suicide attempts recently. I seem to have become fairly apathetic. I suppose wanting to be nonexistent, in that no one would have to worry about me, or bother with me, makes me realize as well that death is a far shot from nonexistence. There would still be memory of me somewhere in death. There would be nothing and no memory of me in nonexistence. Oh well, it's an impossible dream. I guess I'm stuck here against my will, always being a burden on you all.
Yay for un-cheery comments. Have an X-Pony video (Not quite what I'm doing, but I may draw some pony title cards for the LP later):
As well as Derpy's Great Muffin Adventure:
1048609 Truth be told... the thing i'm working on is a totally different story which i have wanted to do for a very long time. (It's actually been made possible entirely from princess Twilight, so i want to actually do it)
you're not a burden. just wanted to get that out there.
anyhow, i'm super excited. i have been working diligently on this new thing, and while it's a very, very different setting i think you'll like it... that being said, i have to get back on scooter tracks somewhere along the lines.
1050930
I need to finish up my fanfic and work on a few new ones I haven't posted yet. I also want to rework a novel I started years ago. Maybe people will actually want to read this stuff.
Ah, then I'm interested to see what you have in store.
Anyway, new setting? You've got me there. I'll be waiting eagerly for this.
No matter how much people tell me I'm not a bad friend, something always seems to come up eventually that makes me think otherwise. Maybe I'll always be like this, never at peace with myself. I also just feel like I don't belong, like a dead spirit among the living. I don't know. It's hard to motivate myself to anything, or to try to enjoy anything. Mainly, I'm just doing things because I have to or because people want me to. It's as if I want to sleep, and never wake up, though not necessarily meaning death.
1058934 You know, i've been there before... i wake up every day knowing in my heart that i'm worthless and nothing but a burden on my friends.
i blame my ex for this...
but honestly, all it takes is this for me to forget about that: would a person talk to a friend if that friend was nothing but "a burden"?
we all have our shortcomings, but it's not our shortcomings that make us who we are. it's our abilities.
you are one of the, if not THE kindest person i've met, and pretty damn smart to boot. you have plenty of worth that you may not see...
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Ah, but you're not worthless, my friend. Writing aside, you've already been a good friend to many. Again, I'm a major hypocrite for saying that, because these are the things I always deny about myself. But real friends can never be a burden on each other. They're always there to lift each others' burdens.
I don't want to make any assumptions...but your ex doesn't sound very nice...
That is true. Friends enjoy each others' company and will go out of the way if needed for each other. Funny that my mind can always find a way to refute all that and convict myself. :/
Haha, different than the classical Greek hero, who is defined in terms of the tragic flaw. No matter what positive qualities or supernatural powers he/she may have, that tragic flaw will always bring about the hero's downfall. But we live in a different society. I guess no one would get anywhere if all we looked at were our flaws. In terms of abilities, I am loath to say that I have any, mainly because I don't want to put myself above anyone else. That aside, I'm a "jack of all trades, master of none." I don't really have anything in particular that stands out. There are many people better than me.
Thank you...that is very nice of you to say so. Again, I'm afraid to come across as too prideful or arrogant.
I try to be the best person I can be, but so many times I've done far less. :/ At least I still have friends despite that...but I can't help but feel sometimes that you all deserve better.
Although I haven't been around you much in person, I know you're a kind soul yourself. I'm sorry for leaving the meetup without saying anything. I would have talked to everyone more, but I just didn't feel right being there with everyone. I'm not sure why. I guess I also got snapped at, so that further solidified the idea that I should have left.