the worst feeling in the world · 1:02am Mar 9th, 2013
/vent
... is when you have everyone you care about believing in you, encouraging you, ensuring that you can accomplish what you've been working towards for the past twelve years to the point where you start to believe it too, only for them to be wrong.
It sucks. They can say it's okay, which you know it is, even if you don't fully believe it. They say that they know you did your best, which you can't deny, but there will always be that nagging feeling in the back of your brain that knows you deserve better, that all the hard work you've put in amounts to more than this.
You know you did well most of the way. You know that there are happier things to look upon, like those other successes you had that day, but you can't help but remember how you were so close to achieving something, only to fall short.
Only to fall short.
Things don't always turn out how you plan them to. The great may succeed, but the best of us must learn to deal with the opposite if we are to do the same.
Sometimes it's not fair. Sometimes it's undeniable that you deserve better. And even though a part of you thinks that you let everyone down, you know better than that, because they are proud of you and all that you have done, and nothing you do could make them feel otherwise.
It's the nature of a team. Of friends. Of family.
And you should smile like they do when they see you. When they see who you are and what you've done.
But you can't, because it hurts.
/endvent
That brought a tear to my eye...
I know these feels. I know them very well...
I do not know what happened, but what ever it was must have sucked some serious ass to vent like that. Sorry you are hurting, but time heals all wounds even if they leave scars.
All that's left to do now is to move on. No sense in dwelling on your failures when you can get back up and try again.
Just remember that failure comes evenly to those with ambition and those without. It was not your drive that made you fail, so don't give up on it.
Those feels.
The feels, I know them well.
A very wise man once told me "The true measure of a man is not in his successes or his failures, but in how he deals with each." I never got the chance to learn the "how best to deal with each" part from him, but I've found that it can only be learned through experience. Gods willing, your experience won't leave any missing limbs or lasting scars.