Drinking Coffee · 4:33pm Feb 21st, 2013
As I sit here drinking Coffee and typing up the second chapter to A Taste of Orange, a problem struck me. I need more opinions on my writing, like desperately. If anyone is interested, I have an unreleased story know as A Taste of Orange, that I need some more critiques of. I don't want to have to wait on an editing group to fix me up with a review, and I certainly am not going to release it without a decent amount of effort put into it. I know it will probably just get skipped over, because it's a self insert O.C. Which is why I've been working on it for two to three weeks now. Send me a PM if you could help me out, all reviews are useful. Here is a small bit from chapter two.
Swirl was finishing with the batch of regular ice cream and stuck it in the freezer. He then got out all the juices and things necessary for the family secret sherbet. The real secret was the addition of actual orange juice straight from the ritzy Orange family in Manehatten. It also helped that there really wasn’t anything added, it was all a straight formula for making sherbet.
“Swirl!” His concentration was broken and he accidently spilled too much vanilla in this batch. He gave sigh, and hated the fact he was a perfectionist when it came to step by step instructions.
“Yea dad!?” Swirl yelled out. He continued to mix the concoction. There was a long pause, and Swirl stopped mixing.
“Swirl! I called you once!” Swirl sighed and trotted back into the back. His father was sitting at the table reading his newspaper. The sun was peeking through the window illuminating the fake plastic fruit in the middle of the table, apples and oranges.
“Yes dad?” Swirl pulled up a chair, and sat down to the left of his dad.
“What are your plans for today?” His father put his newspaper down. He had a steak of grey running through his faded brown mane.
“Well, I was going to finish work and just stay up in my room to write or something.” Swirl’s father gave him a disapproving look.
“You need to be downstairs to help us tonight. This electrical stuff is hard to wire up, and we need your help.” Swirl gave out a small sigh. He reluctantly nodded, and started to get up.
