Long, Meaningful, Soul-Searchy post PART ONE F***ING READ IT · 2:42am Feb 3rd, 2013
As none of you know, I have recently been soul searching and generally just finding my purpose in life, CMC style. In this blog post, I will go through everything I did.
FORM OF: A Musician!
I CANNOT emphasize how much I don't like spending money I don't have. I never have had and never will have a credit card or a loan. That being said, I'm a broke son-of-a-bitch, and decided to do what all of the other broke sons-of-bitches do- play music on the streets. Well, I will tell you this right now- people don't like you following them and playing the guitar. Or the saxophone. Or the flute. Or the recorder. Or the ocarina. Or the spoons. Or, well, anything. Although, people did seem to enjoy my singing... Nonetheless, I failed at everything else. Despite my godly singing voice, I made a total of (insert drumroll) seven cents, USD. Yaaayyy. So, music is not my cup of tea, mostly because I fucking hate tea.
FORM OF: An Artist!
Instead of directly facing the scum-buckets of the world in person, for this section, I put everything online! Hooray for introversion! Anyways, I tried to draw a few things for a few different audiences. I will not post them on here and I deleted them from every site and every thing they were ever on ever, so don't ask. I drew, in total, seven and a half pictures. The most popular, or, actually, the least hated, was a Starry Night style drawing of Canterlot. It. Was. Terrible. It was a hard copy that was scanned, so I deleted every trace of it on my computer and soaked the original in lighter fluid and set it on fire. I then urinated on the ashes, just so I could say that I did on this blog post. Much like music, I can not draw for shiiiiIIIIIIIIIIIIIT.
FORM OF: A Blogger!
This is what I'm doing right now. Unlike the other things, I am actually not too bad at this. I am, however, very inconsistent. SOOOOOooooooo... I do not blog. I do enjoy having evwery fiber of my being and my entire life out there for people to read, sure (cough cough sarcasm), but I don't really blog. In fact, to prove that, I'm ending part one of this blog post now. No, now. Wait, now. SON OF A BI-
Try your hand at a novel
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I'm taking that as an insult (I kid). I'm also suggesting that you pay attention the the title. This is merely part one. There will be a portion on authoring. BE PATIENT please.
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Insult intended! I know it's [censored] part one! What, did you think I was blind?!
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Yes. Yes I did.
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RAGE RAGE INSULT RAGE
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Credible information disproving your insult and a smart-ass but true remark regarding your intelligence and hygiene.
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Generic retort and a questioning of sexual preference.
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Informing you of my bisexuality (as far as you know, it's true) and giving you a two page report on the origin of bullshit and how your statement fits into such a category.
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Informing you of TL;DR and informing you that bisexuality is too mainstream.
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Getting frustrated and easing the tension with a pornographic picture (not shown here).
Then, very small at the bottom of the post,
calling you a "Wiener-monger"