Quietest apocalypse ever · 9:19pm Dec 21st, 2012
How's everyone enjoying the end of the world? Quite the event, huh? Yep, the meteors are running late, the zombies are having trouble digging themselves out of the dirt, at least two earthquakes are sleeping in, the sun missed the memo, Satan had to clear today's schedule to go to a Community Meeting, the hostile viruses got the wrong date (they were set to 21/12), and I think the aliens took the wrong detour to Earth.
In other news, today was the last alleged doomsday date set for humanity. If we make it to the end of tonight without stuff blowing up, we have nothing left to fear but the future itself. I think it's time we stopped dwelling on death and focus on life, because we certainly aren't going anywhere at this rate, if we keep believing this hooha.
Speaking of which, there is a real threat to humanity today, and that would be the idiots who actually believe in this date. I probably should've mentioned this as early as I could, but we're already halfway into 12/21 and nothing's happened yet. The threat of the day is hostile people, those who believe that there will be no repercussions to any crime they may want to commit as it is the end of the world. This will drive people to murder and robbery of a great degree if they are so confident in the end of times. This announcement advises you and your loved ones to be safe and be careful today. It might not be the end of the world, but that won't stop people from pretending it is.
That's all for now. I'll be making a blog post later about an impending update. See you soon.
personally, I expected mutual suicide pacts.
you know, those things where two people agree to kill themselves so that they don't have to watch the apocalypse.
Also, apparently, the Mayan calendar actually never said anything about the end of the world, just the end of a cycle. You know, as in, something happens around this date that changes the world.
I'm gonna say it's the next episode.
Dude you've been telling us for months about how much you have written, just throw some up already!
Alleged